DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

At work: “You’re a really good people person, you’re great with people blah de blah blah blah blah”, yeah I started this NEW CAREER to get away from all that.

Not sure it belongs here but sounds like shite to me.

😂

I really hope you’ve made it through that dark time ♥️ you really want someone to feel your pain in those situations and just offer a hug or a smile, hope you are ok.

Amazing that you did all that straight after giving birth! Maybe he thought you looked way too good to have just given birth?

Not really sanctamonus to have empathy but if you feel it is perhaps career that requires empathy and being able to understand the changes are experiencing isn't for you!

I was home from uni in the early '80s. I was taking a degree in Russian at Glasgow.

A family friend was visiting. "Ah, Weary! I saw an ad - they're looking for someone who can speak some Russian for a small part in a film - to play a Russian woman. I thought you could maybe apply for it - you know some Russian and you're big-made, so you could pass for a Russian!"

Gee, thanks! (Yes, I'd gained weight.)

The film was Local Hero. When those of us in the Russian Dept went to see it, a roar went up: the "Russian woman" was played by one of our lecturers - Tanya Ticktin - very slim and blonde (and nowt like the family friend's idea of a Russian).

I used to get this a lot. I really pissed me off. (It doesn't happen now that I'm a pensioner, though I'm occasionally asked whether I have grandchildren. It's not meant unkindly, but it hurts.)

Wow, where do these people get their brains from. So you have a tiny nose and she was trying to make you feel negatively about it. Maybe she needed a strong prescription in her glasses and check herself

I’ve posted on here about this before.
Ex boss, asked me in front of other staff;

“Tell me is there something in here (pointing to my stomach)? Are you pregnant? “

Me: “No , im not pregnant “

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not pregnant, I’m sure”

“Really , you’re sure you’re not pregnant?”

(A little taken aback now! )”No, it must be these trousers, I’ve got a belly” 😕

Jesus Christ woman . Shut up!

Certainly, not the same. Sending so much love and saying nothing else…

I'm a femme lesbian with a femme wife, so 'you don't look gay' is a classic for us.

Once people find out we have a toddler, then come the questions about sperm donors, and how we chose the 'dad'. Last week someone even asked 'if you don't mind me asking, how did you conceive.' Well actually, I do mind! And how do you think??? It wasn't immaculate conception hun. Everyone knows what IVF is.

I was telling a colleague about my horrendous experience of being stuck in a lift. She asked, "Eeh, did you manage to get out?" 😖

I got the same comments with my b/g twins.
Also, whenever I shopped in Waitrose the same woman from the deli counter would always accost me to start preaching about the benefits of breastfeeding. There was never any variation in her dialogue.
Got to the stage where I started quoting her lines back to her. Don't think she realised, but seemed most impressed. 😁

It was a tad insensitive but probs meant as an encouragement. Some people don't make the effort because they feel they don't look good either way, so in that situation it would've been a good comment.

I have a common for my age first name think Debbie or Claire with a really bland surname like smith. A person a few years above me
had the same first name but with a slightly different spelling (eg debby or Clare) and a very different surname like Patel - we looked nothing alike, she was tall dark
and beautiful and I was ugly pale, freckled and ginger - in my first year of secondary school a teacher upon hearing my first name asked me if we were related.

It wasn’t hurtful like some other examples posted but it made 11 year old me stop and wonder why we let these people be in charge of children. It was the most pointlessly dumb thing I’ve heard someone say to me.

Yes, I agree there are better and worse ways to say things. You could also consider that in the way that you decided to educate the OP.

As a fellow Ashkenazi I can say there’s far more problematic things done by our kind in this world a lately.

Im not woke and do not subscribe. I will continute to play problematic artists like Michael Jackson and just be a general problem.

However, I would never and have never called someone dumb, if they can’t speak. I’d simply say they are unable to speak. Wouldn’t dream of uttering the words deaf and dumb - that offends me

Going to the doctor with a persistent medical issue over 30 years that needs antibiotics and being told basic preventative information. Thanks.

That's not 'dumb'. It's good that women are looking out for our sex and querying if a male is in there. I've read of several women being queried, and they don't whinge about it, they're thankful other women ask to safeguard our spaces. Butch lesbians in FWR have said they're asked and it doesn't bother them at all. It seems to me that it's a you problem if you get that offended.

How so? She's not referring to people with a speech impediment.

I've told this one before.

When I was still using my foreign maiden name at work, I was approached by a middle-aged SEN teacher who originally came from the south of England. (This is relevant, I guess.)

He needed to liaise with me because I was responsible for junior English at the school. (English was one of my minors at uni.)

I was teaching in a school 6 miles from the town where I was brought up and maybe 12 miles from my birthplace in East Central Scotland. At work, I spoke Standard English but with a local accent.

Southern English SEN teacher: "So when did you first come to this country?"

I gave him my date and time of birth, about 35 years previously at that point.

"You even remember the time? It must have made quite an impression on you!"

"No, but it made a helluva impression on my mum!"

You really should come here more often to do your eyebrows - plucking them isn’t good

you have a gap in your eyebrows

take more vitamins, do more exercise, clean your face with X to improve your acne

try and exercise more and eat cleaner to lose weight and get healthy

your heels are really rough - you really should do more pedicures

your cuticles are so hard - just dab some cuticle oil on every day - no big deal

really - it’s so easy just to cook a home made meal every day - your body will thank you for it

you should read more and watch less tv - good for your brain

no shit Sherlock and
f@ck off - I’m a busy professional and a mum of 2. I have no time (and even when I do, I’d rather just do other things ok)

During a safety briefing at work I was
told by the male speaker that I would “never be raped” because I was “too confident”. He was from the Suzy Lamplugh trust, so I would have thought he would have known that it doesn’t work like that.

I think there were stats published that more millionaires made their beds than anyone else, and if you read for five minutes a day, ate from scratch and walked an hour a day you were in the top 1% of the population.

Im in the 99% 😂

I think a lot of the time, people either want to help (so list all the things that helped them, or their cousin, or neighbour, which is frustrating if you've already tried it all), or in the case of the doctor/specialist who assessed you, she might have been thinking in problem solving mode and just offering all the treatments they can give to make you feel better about yourself (not helpful when you didn't ask!)

Sounds like they both put their bloody foot in it though. How rude, and awkward for them! Because the embarrassment should be entirely theirs, not yours.

I have a mother who occasionally says things like, 'gosh, your face is looking haggard, you're too thin!' followed up by, 'but you've got chunky upper arms, don't you' 🫣 I'm a perfectly proportional size 10/12 with a thin face, but she has a way of inadvertently making me feel like a Frankenstein's monster. And the weird thing is, she'd sing my praises to anyone else! But to me? It's so often a backhanded compliment or an insult. Sometimes people just don't know what they're saying.