DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

Sorry for all the crap comments you have had

The Mumsnet classic line “did you mean to be so rude?” Springs to mind….

That’s funny!

Someone said to me the other day oh do you know Sarah works in sainsburys? I said no, they don't really mix with us cleaners. They look down their nose at us. He replied oh that's fair enough.

Right ok 🙄

Perhaps some reflective practice would be helpful her we, it's unlikely they thought that they'd stay completely mobile, but there's a massive difference between knowing mobility will change and actually experiencing that debilitating cha Ng getting. Have a little compassion.

I was 19, and being "chatted up" by a young man in a nightclub. He was getting the impression I wasn't putting much faith in his charm offensive, so he insisted "Come on, let me buy you a drink, I think you're gorgeous - I really like fat girls!" Incredibly, I did not let him buy me a drink...

Normally, ohhh too keen to share a story. I can tell you have an interesting MIL. She was triple threat attacking. You work, they tantrum and they go to nursery. My mum didn’t work and she’s like hats off to all these women who are juggling everything now as I barely could remember to finish eastenders omnibus shed tape and pick you kids up at finishing time.

Are there twins in the family? This i believe is a polite way of asking about fertility treatment.

In fairness I dont think that this is about fertility treatment. Its well known that twins are more likely in families that already have twins down the maternal line. In my family me and two of my female cousins all got pregnant with twins, sadly only one full set made it, one of mine survived and none of the other cousins did. And there has been at least two sets per generation going back until the late 1800's. My Grandmother told me how annoyed she got when people kept saying it to her when they knew her mother had had twins and this was in the 40's, well before IVF etc!

He didn’t say it but DBro wrote, hope you have many more to come in my Christmas card (currently having surgery for breast cancer). Also, when DM told him, he rang me up and asked if I was having them both off. 🤦‍♀️

A couple I remember - one, just after I'd had a miscarriage (I already had dc1) - "oh don't leave it too long to have another child will you, they won't be close unless you have them close together."

The other one - someone said X and I looked alike. "Oh no they don't, X is really pretty."

Similar said by my childhood friend who is a very experienced primary school teacher:
"My mum just can't believe you are autistic."

I wanted to say, "well that just tells us how little your mum knows about autism'"

And then later, my friend said "I'm pretty sure DC2 has ADHD but I don't want to get them assessed because I think it will disadvantage them to have a label." My heart absolutely sinks when teachers are dismissive about neurodivergence and don't understand the importance of ADHD treatment. Also young people don't see any stigma in it, whereas mature adults, like my friend, do.

Aye and they'd be the first to complain if toilets weren't clean etc.
You have my sympathies as my DW is a supermarket cleaner.

I answered the door to a florist whilst holding my two week old baby and he looked down at my protruding stomach and said

‘when’s the baby due?’

😂

My neighbour who has the thickest hair you have ever seen was looking at my peri menopausal thinning hair (not helped by Mounjaro) with great sympathy. Oh she said, I can see your scalp shining through your hair. Yeah thanks for that. She then proceeded to recommend some shampoo that she uses on her already massively thick hair. But oh she said, it's like £30 a bottle and she looked at me with even more sympathy like I'm some cheapo who would never spend money on shampoo. I was raging 😅

And you didnt simply lie down and let this prince shag you there and then?! What is WRONG with you woman?!

Beggars belief doesnt it?!

I had one a bit like that from a sales assistant who told me my chest was low down... It's a complex that came true post children!

My childminder had another kid who had the same name as my DS (imagine both called Alex). Both boys blond/ curly hair/ blue eyes. Someone who knew they both had the same name asked her: are they brothers? Like yes, if I had another one I will also call it Alex, for simplicity.

In conversation with fellow junior colleague I commented that I wasnt sure if I wanted children and she said "but your life would be without meaning".

A few years later, still childless but not by choice at this point, I have accepted a lunch invitation from a guy who is trying to sell me stuff, in our line of work.
Him: do you have kids?
Me: no.
Him: Why not?
I cold stared him and said that's a v personal question. He stammered some bollocks and we moved on.
Safe to say he never saw any of my business.

Children with autism are gifted,they are so special and unique…

So are the children without it. I’d love to never see the bastard autism anywhere again.

FYI I love him, he’s awesome but it’s so hard sometimes 😢

She needs her massively thick hair to cover her massively thick head!

How can anyone thinks that’s okay to say?

My daughter has long thick gorgeous hair (as I once did, also peri menopausal) and my DH’s aunt commented on it asking me ‘who do you think she gets that from?’ whilst staring up at the the top of my head. 😡

Five stone weightloss sunk mine and I’m currently research having them lifted as treat to myself and my long suffering back. But at 17 I was in a queue for a drag bar. And as I was going in they put a sticker on your chest to say you’ve paid. The “man”
says to me, wow I had to reach right down then they are that low.

When you think of the shit we’ve even forgotten about and just have to digest, no wonder we are all so self critical and anxious.

Woman at work who has 4 kids asked me how many I had. When I said one she said something a long the lines of “oh in my culture you wouldn’t really be considered a mother yet. It’s not the same as when you have multiple and truly get to experience the joy of it.” I was having fertility treatment at the time so really didn’t appreciate the comment. It was also said in front of coworker who had no children after failed fertility treatment and she was aware I was currently having it and we were both stunned by the comment.

Yes I did try to delete the post after I wrote it knowing there would be some sanctimonious person like you come along. I've reflected and am deeply sorry for my post and wish I had not posted in the first place.

Dumb is a problematic word the way you have used it. It implies those who can't speak are stupid i.e dumb=stupid. You could have just said stupid because I am pretty sure you'd not like it if people used language like pizza face etc to describe those with accne.

Anyway some one said to me they envy me having a survivor as my grandmother because you get so much "kudos" in the Jewish world.

"You pass too well"

"How long have they had down syndrome?"

Op, not the point of the post & obviously I am not a doctor nor do I know your history - but I went on accutaine despite having a bout of deep depression and ongoing low mood beforehand.
I actually think my cystic acne contributed to my low mood and I was so overjoyed by the results of accutaine (roaccutaine at the time) that it improved my mental health no end - wish I'd gone on it sooner.

Yep, I got that all the time too. My b/g twins look so different in appearance as well!
One of those daft things people would ask at random before engaging their 🧠!!