DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

My sister was trying some sort of tough love approach in trying to get me to lose weight. I said now isn't really the time for me to be thinking about that. She said "why isn't it a good time? Is it Christmas or something?"
No, it's just that I had a baby 10 days ago, I'm EBF, I'm still very sore and I'm sleep-deprived. I don't really feel up to coming jogging with you or eating nothing but salad. So fuck off.

A few years ago when I was a support worker, I was queuing at a Morrisons cafe with a young man I was supprting who had Down’s syndrome. We were happily deciding what we wanted to order, when I felt a tap on my shoulder and a very kindly lady said “ I’ve got one of those at home” WTF!

The rude colleague at work who we all detest

I was eating a doughnut

Rude colleague "How much weight did you lose again,didn’t you win a slimming world award for it?"

Look Jane a singular doughnut-the first I’ve had in weeks isn’t going to cause me to regain the 6st I lost.

My daughter was stillborn too. Sorry for your loss x

Omfg

I have to agree, and I don't think you said anything wrong. Most people will look better at a normal/healthy weight than they do when they're obese. As you say, that poster wouldn't have said anything if you'd said someone who weighed 6 stone looked better and healthier when they reached a healthier weight of 8 and a half stone.

First time at a m/ h drop in session the key worker remarked " you don't look depressed ". What does a depressed person look like exactly? What a way to invalidates someone's feelings. Some people are utterly shit.

I used to work in customer service and customers would often say ‘oh I can see you have a cold because your nose is red’. Nope, just the rosacea, but thanks for pointing it out! It happened so often, and I used to have to just agree that I had a cold to avoid the awkwardness. I started wearing makeup after that I and I never go anywhere without my concealer now.

After 22 years of trying and IVF, I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I worked on a hospital ward and the ward priest asked me if I'd been off sick, when I told him about miscarrying my IVF baby he told me that my baby was "an abomination against God"

Yeah, this is why the best thing is to just say NOTHING about someone's bodily appearance unless it's to complement their accessories or tell them that the colour they're wearing looks good on them, or some such. You just never, ever know.

When i gave birth to my 3rd son, my friend's mum commented 'Don't worry love, hopefully the next one will be a girl' not even a congratulations!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Even if his religious belief is that babies should only be conceived the old-fashioned way, his choice to say such a thing to a bereaved mother is very UNreligious and a sign of a cruel person. He deserves someone to write a complaint about him to his superiors, because that is NOT how a priest is supposed to behave.

Whyyyyyy, just whyyyyy would you say that!!!

OMG just remembered something else when my 3rd was born, i took him for his heel prick test and the nurse literally boomed down the corridor 'we've got a redhead'!

We once went away to Center Parcs with a group of friends and all our children. I can remember one of the mums exclaiming incredibly loudly 'Oh my god it's alright for some!' When we were parked by the entrance in a disabled bay - albeit still struggling and juggling with baggage and supplies and children, etc. The reason being that our eldest son has profound medical and complex special needs, is a wheelchair user, is gastro fed, has epilepsy, is diabetic ... need I go on. I just looked agog and my husband laughed out loud. Everyone else literally put their heads down and didn't know what to do. I think she realised she'd been an insensitive dick as soon as she'd said it - and I don't hold it against her - she's just one of those unfortunately. When she was pregnant with her second child I can remember someone asking her in front of us what she was having - and she said she didn't know - then she said really loudly - 'God who cares so long as it's healthy!' She also asked another friend when she was due - two months after she'd had her baby! Bless her, I could go on ... she's got form!🙄

Whilst being assessed for postnatal depression, I had a visit from the health visitor. I was struggling with breastfeeding at the time, so a lot going on.

Conversation turned to the fact my sister had passed away 6 yrs previously. As I had just managed to latch my child on to the breast, the health visitor asked me if my sister had known she was dying 🥺.

I used to dread her visits, and wish I had been stronger to stand up to her. I always made sure someone was with me during subsequent appts. Thankfully, she had retired once my second child was born.

See also: “Hi, other school parent, I’m MassiveBackstory. I’ve got two who have just started in Year 2.”

“Oh that’s nice, are they twins?”

🤔

MIL - you’re looking tired or you’re looking grumpy (when I’m not feeling tired or grumpy). But now I am grumpy that you’ve said that.

Fucking hell! Absolutely wild that she said that. What a cow.

That's appalling. I wish you could have punched him.

You think that's bad- i used to have really bad acne and our corner shop banned me from going in in case i was infectious. Then we went on holiday to Greece and old ladies on the bus would cross themselves when they saw me.

My eldest DD has had a very tough 3 years. Self harming g. Food issues. Diagnosis is of depression and social anxiety and currently in process of diagnosis for ASD. Will be 18 this month and already been in discussion with GP about weight loss medication as her eating binging and inability to self help has led to a vicious cycle of her rarely leaving the house.
Xmas day evening after spending 4 hours with us my mum rang me to say she was shocked and disgusted by my lack of control as a parent over DD and her weight needs dealing with immediately. She hasn't been over for a year and DD hasn't been well enough to visit as an hours drive.
Cheers mum.

This is a real oxymoron - if people were dumb, they would not be able to speak - are you happy insulting people who insult you? Sort of cancels out your post really !

My son died at 23 hours old. Some fuckwit told me that it was god testing my faith. If that is the test then he and his band of followers can fuck right off.
As my child had died I was moved into a side room away from the other mums. A ward cleaner came into my room and chirpily said ‘ you young girls get yourselves into some scrapes’ tutted and left. I was 26 years old, married for 4 years, and had just prematurely given birth to my first child. Insensitive doesn’t begin to cover it.

I’m sorry that was said to you. At a time when you are in pain and vulnerable you need love and support the last thing you need are crass and unthinking comments like these.