Birthday/Christmas cards on display at home - are they free for anyone to read?

[Mamma1828]

Prompted by a relative who recently visited, picked up a birthday card I had propped up on the window sill and read the message inside. It was tucked away mostly out of sight in a low corner and I’d kept it out because it is a very beautiful one.

For context this relative hadn’t sent me a birthday card that year (I have stopped sending cards and I send good wishes by WhatsApp) and this was the first year they hadn’t sent a card to me, so I was wondering if this had provoked some annoyance in them.

I don’t have visitors too often but the ones I’ve had have happily picked up cards and read the messages, the way you might pick up a magazine to flip through at someone else’s house. I don’t know why they feel it is ok to read them because the messages are either lovely but not interesting, or if there was something more personal to read then other people really shouldn’t be reading them! If I have any on display it’s because I want to enjoy the lovely pictures, not for people to have a nose at.

I’m very tempted to write one up with a racy message inside for future visitors. 😂

Anyway curious what others think - are cards a free for all for anyone to read?

I read my Mum’s cards. She’s 88 now and gets loads. I love reading the messages. It’s nice to see how well-regarded she is. My friends pick up and read mine, but I don’t mind at all. I wouldn’t do it at the house of someone I don’t know well though.

No, I wouldn’t dream of reading a message meant for someone else while I was a visitor in their home. I wouldn’t be very interested either.

This has come up with my parents - who think it’s perfectly fine. They would definitely also read medical appointment letters stuck to the fridge!

They read a card from a close friend of ours who’d written an in-joke inside the card, then started questioning us about the joke (which admittedly did sound odd to the uninitiated - but it wasn’t meant to be read by the uninitiated).

My dad asked me ‘what do your in-laws make of jokes like that?’ and I told him that my in-laws don’t rummage through our stuff in the same way because they have some healthy ideas about boundaries and privacy.

Yes you’re right. I’m the idiot.

I don’t display cards, so it wouldn’t affect me, but never in a million years would I pick up a card in someone else’s house. It’s really bad manners. It’s the same as reading a post card that was propped up on a mantelpiece or eavesdropping. They might be on display, but I know the messages aren’t for me. Why would it be acceptable for me to read them?

Not the same thing at all.

Outside picture might be commented in by me such as ‘awww - cute puppy’

but I wouldn’t dream of touching, let alone reading the inside of a card on display in anyone’s house.

I would if they were out on display though I guess you kind of have a point.

Levity? You told me off. And you’ve doubled down by telling me to chill out yet again. You’re just patronising and you know you are - picked on the wrong person.

I wouldn't pick someone's cards up and read them, neither would I expect them to do it to me. However, many people do.
They are the same people who come into my kitchen and read my calendar and pick up any letters they see and read them too. They also comment on or ask questions about what they find.
'Who is Pete?'
'Why is your electricity bill so high?'
'You spend a lot of money on eating out don't you?'

Why should I put my cards in my bedroom, or in a drawer?
All of my house is a private area. My living room is not a public area, it belongs to me.
As for letters, I leave them on my coffee table as a visual reminder that I need to address them.
If I were to put them away, I would forget about them and they wouldn't be dealt with.
If I removed items I don't want other people to be nosying at, I would be organising my home with visitors at the forefront of my mind and that's not how I run my home because after all, it is my home!!
I organise and run my home to suit myself, not to prevent visitors being nosey because any decent person understands what is for general viewing or use and what's not.

If you can see something without touching it, then it is probably intended for you to see.
If you have to touch it to see it, then you should probably ask for permission.

I really don’t think my mother takes such a dim view of me because I admired one or two cards that said something like ‘many happy returns love from Beryl’ 😂

What's the point of putting them up if you don't anyone to read anything?

I think some people on here are getting a bit miffed to realise they are being described as "incredibly rude", on here but likely in real life behind their back too 😂

I am amazed that posters can feign complete innocence and naivety about reading other people's private post being rude

Look at my stuff.

But DON’T look at my stuff!!!

I wouldn’t even think to look at others’ cards…it just wouldn’t occur to me. That said I wouldn’t be bothered if someone read mine.

What I find really bizzarre is the fact some people are suggesting that by ‘displaying’ them you’re basically inviting it. What is the point of cards, other than to display them? It’s not like you get them, read them and then chuck them!

it's not a show-home, it's their private house. Is it ok with you if people display the cards for themselves, and really don't expect you to open them to read what can't be seen unless you rudely take them and open them?

Do you also grab the photos that are on display to check what has been written at the back?

Why do you think reading a birthday or Christmas card is different from reading a postcard?

Do you also read people’s wall calendar entries, or letters they’ve stuck to the fridge (perhaps medical appointments or bills)? If they’ve left an opened letter out on the coffee table, do you pick it up and read it?

I’m just interested in where you draw the line.

Is that what I said?

If you manage to read the inside of cards just by looking at them with your super power, fair play to you

if you have to put your hands on them and open them, you are being very rude 😂

I don’t think I’ve ever done it myself but yes, I’d think it’s the same as looking at a picture, the way you might lean in to squint at the detail. I don’t understand why you’d have them up if it bothers you for people to read them!

Everyone who sends cards to my home is very happy for anyone to read them. Because we’re normal.

You've asked them have you? If so why? I guess because your friends and family are as rude as you are.

It would not bother me in the slightest if anyone read my cards

and that's completely irrelevant on you being rude by reading other people's cards.

Well, as others have said, you may well have postcards on your fridge or hospital or GP letters so by your twisted logic it's fine for anyone in your house to read them?