Birthday/Christmas cards on display at home - are they free for anyone to read?

[Mamma1828]

Prompted by a relative who recently visited, picked up a birthday card I had propped up on the window sill and read the message inside. It was tucked away mostly out of sight in a low corner and I’d kept it out because it is a very beautiful one.

For context this relative hadn’t sent me a birthday card that year (I have stopped sending cards and I send good wishes by WhatsApp) and this was the first year they hadn’t sent a card to me, so I was wondering if this had provoked some annoyance in them.

I don’t have visitors too often but the ones I’ve had have happily picked up cards and read the messages, the way you might pick up a magazine to flip through at someone else’s house. I don’t know why they feel it is ok to read them because the messages are either lovely but not interesting, or if there was something more personal to read then other people really shouldn’t be reading them! If I have any on display it’s because I want to enjoy the lovely pictures, not for people to have a nose at.

I’m very tempted to write one up with a racy message inside for future visitors. 😂

Anyway curious what others think - are cards a free for all for anyone to read?

I honestly would dream of picking up and reading a card in someone else’s house.

God, how rude!

I don't think most people display cards like they consider their home a gallery for visitors, surely you put them up because you enjoy looking at them yourself. Or just want them there, in your own house.
Id say it's like someone taking books off your shelf and going through them, or picking a picture down and reading the back.
If personal items are out in the living space if a private house you politely ignore them, you don't scrutinise them like they are there for your entertainment!

Rude and nosey, they were addressed to you not her! Cheeky sod.

It would never cross my mind to pick up someone else's card and read inside it. That is, to me, incredibly rude and nosy. Just why would you?

I think its rude to pick up other people's cards and read them.

No visitors shouldn’t read what has been written to you in cards. Look at the pictures and if you want to know who sent one ask. The messages are not their business.

I'd think it really odd and rude if a visitor picked up cards in my house and read the insides. They're not "on public display" they're on my windowsill for me to enjoy. Some people are extremely nosy though!

Yes I often do this however now you mention it, it is a bit weird that we think this is normal you don't just pick up someones post an read it 🤣

OP, as I was reading your post it was going through my mind that you should write one to yourself with a very intimate/rude/shocking message in it, leave it out and watch their face as they read it, so it made me laugh to read you'd already thought of doing that yourself. I often get cards from friends with long messages in them, it's my home and I'll put my cards on display if I want but I wouldn't expect visitors to pick them up and read them, like I wouldn't expect them to pick up my opened mail and read it, even if I happened to have left it out. Likewise, I wouldn't go in other people's homes and pick up their cards and read them. I might admire the pictures on the front but I wouldn't actually pick the cards up and read what's written inside.

I think you shouldn’t put cards with private messages up in ‘public’ rooms. I sometimes like to see who else has sent cards to family members, or whatever.

I would look at my mum & dads, but nowhere else.

I would never look either. It's the outside of the card that's for display, not the inside. It's a personal note to someone. DH will always put something very lovely and personal in my cards. I like to display the card, but what's inside it is for me.

So you think you should put cards in your bedroom? That's just plain weird. People put them in their living room and they don't expect nosy people to pick them up and read them

This is an ongoing debate in my house, DH will happily read cards can’t see the problem. His mother was the same would just walk in and read anything laying around even letters and bank statements given the chance. Yes I should have moved them but I came from a family who would never read anything so I just didn’t think.

I can't imagine they are of interest to anyone other than close family but if there was something personal that i didn't want others to read, I wouldn't have them on display in the living room.

Because we share love in between family and friends? My dad was 80 last month and everyone who came to the house read his cards. I honestly think you are the sniffy weirdos. They are not private letters - they are cards on display - and it was really lovely to read nice sentiments about my dad. What is wrong with you that no one is allowed to read your cards? Seriously it’s bloody weird. And performative.

Thanks for all the replies! I’m glad it’s not just me. I don’t have anything of interest to read in my cards but I do think it’s nosy to look.

It really doesn’t matter except there may have been some sensitivity with the relative - the card she looked at - literally the only one I had out - was from her counterpart in-law. It wasn’t ostentatiously on display either, it was on the kitchen widow sill, at a low height, behind a table, so not visible from most of the room. It was just for me - we have hardly any visitors and it didn’t occur to me to put it away. I thought she would have been annoyed looking at who it was from, and that got me thinking whether she should have been looking at all…

I would hate anyone doing this in my home and would pull them up on it without any hesitation.

I don’t display the cards for anyone else, I display them for me. They’re certainly not ‘on public display’ for reading by anyone that came into the house.

Gosh, I never thought it as rude. I had a peek inside some of my dad’s Christmas and birthday cards when I visited him recently. I was just curious as to who I might know, and I like trying to guess which of my Catholic family have sent the religious ones! It’s also a nice thing for me to see he has a good social network in his advancing years.

I can see how if you have shared a home with someone before, like with parents, that you would feel comfortable enough to look at your parents cards after you’ve moved out.

But does it go the other way? Maybe not when DILs and SILs are involved. But I’ve not been bothered when my MIL read through cards for my young DCs. 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't pick it up to look, but I'd have a sneaky peek at some point 😂

Yes, I might look if the cards are out on display. I wouldn’t think anything of it.

My DM always reads all my cards! I’m not bothered but it is a bit nosy!

It’s rude. The outside is on display. Inside is not.

Interesting question. Personally I would find it nosey and a bit intrusive if someone picked up and read cards I had on display. I definitely wouldn't do it in anyone else's home.