I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

“Hi everyone. I’ve really enjoyed X club since I joined and have been glad that I’ve been able to contribute to the club by doing A, B and C. However, as I’m now not able to play for a while due to my injured shoulder and have dedicated a lot of time to the admin side of the club over the last 18 months, it’s now time for me to step back and hand that work over to someone else. I’m happy to keep doing A and B for the next month and to do a hand over to whoever is able to take over, but it won’t be possible for me to continue after that due to other commitments. Hopefully I’ll be back on the course as a player later in the year when my shoulder is fully recovered.”

Good to hear you're quitting. They'd have to manage if you were incapacitated in any way, or moved across the country, so let them manage now - but not before you've told them exactly why you're leaving.

This is the answer.

Sorry, I didn't see your update. Good stuff!

As a fun alternative to quitting you could organise the worst social event ever as a parting gift. I think this could be really satisfying and fun!

You are a volunteer. Just email everyone and say, unfortunately my circumstances now mean I am unable to continue in this volunteer role. All the best for the future.” Then move on…. Life will go on!

Christ ,just email you resign from 1 January 26
Life is to short for this shit show
You owe them nothing

Absolutely quit now. I told people I didn't want to carry on with something for two years. Eventually I gave them five months notice and they still got to the end having made no plans to replace me and clearly expecting me to carry on until they could (whilst continuing to do nothing towards replacing me). I stuck to my guns and stopped. Give two months notice now and stop.

Takers are always going to take, so givers need to learn to stop giving

It’s a hobby OP. You can just stop, now. People do it all the time. Take a deep breath, send the email and just don’t go back.

I agree that you should resign, but in a professional, polite way which means that you will be able to continue playing golf there in the future if you want to. There's no point making a big scene when these people are local and you enjoy the sport. And when they ask you to volunteer again in the future, politely explain that you have done your share and are now committed elsewhere. Just keep going with the fun and healthy side of golf.
And maybe you can join something at the local leisure centre, eg badminton club. Or your local book club - it's easier to get to know people over interesting conversations.
I don't agree that just restricting yourself to your immediate family is a good mindset.

Stop being a mug!!!! Just give up now 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sack it off. Feel zero guilt, they sound horrible.

You’re enabling this behaviour from them. They are treating you like a doormat and you’re allowing it.

Just say no.

Quit now - say you are burnt out due to organising everything in Dec without help should you feel you need to give a reason.

They'll manage

Immediate resignation.

Dear manager of the club

I took up golf as a hobby to meet people and improve my quality of life both mentally, emotionally and physically and make friends.

I was asked to volunteer to help but this has become more and more onus on me with little help and support and become a thankless task. When I have asked for support or explained the work load on me - no or limited further support has been provided.

Just one example, all the Christmas meal organising it and booking everything - for everything fell to me - even when I asked for help and support I got none. I ended up serving all night , and I was on the receiving end of grumbles and complaints and it really was not enjoyable for me. I did not get to relax and enjoy my meal or even relax and talk to people. This is very unfair as is one example of the many tasks I have been asked or pressured to do - there are lots more organising trophies, prizes etc

I had been persuaded to do this until October 2026 but I really can not continue. So I’m resigning all my volunteering with immediate effect. This sort of organising needs to be done by an entire committee as a whole or an even paid position within the club, as the hours spent organising are a huge requirement.

I wish you all the best in 2026.
Kind Regards
Emma

This.

They are using you and not helping when you ask for assistance, because they are 'too busy'. They don't value you, they use you. Stop letting them use you.

"I'm unable to continue in this role and need to step down from next week". That's it.

Something like this happened to me, my son did a sporting hobby & I became club secretary. Other people fell away, the club struggled to put on sessions due to lack of organastion/coaches & my son stopped doing it. Even then, I was still going to the sessions (13 miles away) on a Saturday morning to take the register/first aider as none of the other parents would take on the role or any of the tasks. I was doing membership, treasurer functions, publicising the sessions etc. Eventually I submitted a written resignation giving 6 weeks notice, citing change of personal circumstances, stuck to my guns & left. The club folded not long after due to no one stepping up.

Just quit now, if you have a membership continue to use it but withdraw from all additional work/tasks.

Quit its just not worth the stress, DH and i.joined a club last year, they asked for volunteers to assist with an open day and said how awful out of 80 members only the same few helped every year..i now know why! The chairman is an insufferable dick who was rude and umgrateful all day, we will not offer our unpaid help again

For some, joining a sports club can be a great success. However, sometimes there can be a clique of members and you will always feel like a bit of an outsider. Like a surface level friend. You took on all this work and did it in good faith. But for whatever reason it has not worked out the way you wanted it to. Don’t beat yourself up-you did your best - they will realise how much you did when you’re gone.
Just wondering did you ask for an extra pair of hands when you were in the thick of it?

With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

This is when you should have said 'well, I can't organise this so there won't be a party this year'. Either help would have magically appear or there would have been no party and it would have been fine as you'e leaving anyway. But I guarantee it would have been the former.

Quit with immediate effect. You don’t have to give any notice or any reason.

Honestly, you will feel such a sense of relief when you quit.

Do you really want to do another 10/11 months of life like this? It sounds like it’s massively impacting your mental health. Sometimes it’s about protecting our peace and letting go of what no longer serves us.

The fact that no one stepped up to help you, when you asked, speaks volumes about the kind of people there. Selfish, self absorbed etc.

When you do quit, don’t feel like you have to explain yourself either. If you have to resign in writing then just a simple one liner will do ‘due to unforeseen circumstances, with immediate effect etc etc’ otherwise you’ll go down the route of over explaining and you will end up getting talked into staying on in the role. Same if they say they will help more. Don’t fall for it.
And do it sooner rather than later - it’s taking up too much of your head space.

You’ve got this! You don’t owe anybody anything!

Good luck! We’re all rooting for you!

O P not read the thread but - you need to charge them for work you did. They should have employed caterer for the dinner and pay some one to do admin.