I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

Same as every other MN wet lettuce: "I don't like conflict"

Just quit, leave it a few months and just start to play again when you want to. Don't volunteer to help organise anything, you've done your bit!

Your injured shoulder is your get out. Just give a months notice (offer a hand over nothing more).

if you enjoyed golf, then join another club, don’t get used in this way again.

You could you know, just not organise the two things and just stop today.

Email them and say that circumstances changed and for medical reason ( shoulder) you can’t do golf anymore so you want to quit your position immediately.
If asked say that you didn’t what you could at Christmas time but you can’t continue anymore.
add unfortunately and don’t mention mental health.

You absolutely shouldn't feel guilty. If your situation was like the op's then the club folded because they didn't have enough volunteers willing or able to run it properly. The only person who shouldn't feel guilty is you, the person who stepped up and did more than their fair share of the work.

I agree with everyone else op, time to step away from this.

You agreed to do it until October based on what you thought the role would be and how you might be treated.
Since they haven’t even remotely stuck to that, why on earth would you continue to flog yourself into the ground? Just quit, now!

'For personal reasons I will be standing down with immediate effect'.

The personal reasons being that they treated you like shit. No wonder they can't find good volunteers. Are you by any chance a woman in a largely male dominated environment?

Other golf clubs are available.

Quit now. That is it. Just stop.
Hobbies are supposed to enhance your life, not add to your stress.

Tell them you are stepping down effective immediately, but will help your replacement for a maximum of 5 hours per week until the end of January.

Tell them why you are doing this, so that they don't take advantage of and overload your replacement.

‘Dear all
I no longer have the time to undertake my voluntary role at the club and am giving notice with immediate effect. I wish you the very best of luck with finding a replacement, and would suggest that a role-share might work well.
yours etc’

Exactly this. I’m sure you haven’t signed a contract where you’ll be financially penalised for no longer doing these things.

Say your circumstances have changed and you’re no longer able to help, with immediate effect. Then sit back and relax and think no more of it.

Absolutely quit now. You don’t owe them anything.

OP quit now, don't wait until October. I guarantee that when you're not doing it anymore, someone who was 'too busy' will miraculously find time to do it. Or, they wont, and the club will go without social events and prize giving which is just a natural consequence when people want to reap the rewards of a club without putting in the work to run it.

In either scenario, it's not your problem. You don't owe anyone the work you're doing. They're completely taking the piss. Send them an email today saying you're stepping down, effective immediately, and hold firm to that.

I don't understand why you're post is full of "I had to do this, I had to do that".
No, no you don't.
You have agency but it seems you've been swept up in something that feels bigger than you.
I promise you, you can get off this mad hamster wheel today and can go back to your normal life.

As for why you can't enjoy your own company, there might be a few reasons and it would be worth exploring with a professional counsellor or therapist.

Also, take up knitting, crochet or embroidery, keeps your hands and mind busy and calm at the same time.

Quit now. Join another golf club.

Sorted.

If you want a softer approach be up front and say I need a committee of 4 for the xyz social, anyone who's interested please let me know by this date. And on this date say unfortunately we won't be doing the xyz social this year and there doesn't seem to be an appetite for it.

Like others, I think you should resign your voluntary role with immediate effect. I would put it in writing (presumably there is some kind of committee which runs things) and specifically say that when you asked for help and support over Christmas, none was forthcoming. I think it’s important to mention this, as it may help the next person from being overloaded. Don’t worry about leaving the club in the lurch, that’s their problem. There probably aren’t many social events coming up in the next month or so, so resignation now gives them time to sort something out.

She doesn't need to say that she just needs to say that she is unable to carry on in the role because it doesn't work for her right now/ she can't commit the time at the moment. She isn't mentally ill, she is just normal.

Contact them this morning and tell them you're quitting immediately. It doesn't fit into your life at the minute and is just added stress you don't need.

Bin them off pronto. I'm a simple northerner and these things are often beyond my price point but it seems to me that you wanted to play golf, not pay fees through the snout then get dumped on at your own expense to be office manager. Join a golf club that lets you play golf in exchange for your (probably substantial) fees 💁

Do not feel guilty. Another member of the club could have stepped up and taken over, but they didn’t, not your fault.

Try tennis instead, it’s very sociable and your golf skills may help, lots of the tennis players are also golfers

You should have cancelled the Christmas party. It's an absolute piss take that they expected you to do it all by yourself, and you were a mug for doing it.

Golf didn’t work out well for me either, but nothing like this! I didn’t go to make friends, I did it because I love being outdoors and genuinely wanted to learn how to play. But I found the other players were all very cliquey and unwelcoming.

But anyway, you are completely being taken advantage of. I would step back if I were you.

Blimey!

Don’t wreck your summer by spending it facilitating people who take but don’t give. Resign now!