I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

If you look deep into your soul and think golf is going to be the answer, look again 💫

Sack off and just stop going

Just seen there’s a massive fire at a golf club in Essex hope not connected to op spectacularly reaching the end of her tether! Op has Tossed the match and fucked them off big time 😄

Have you quit, OP?

I've sent them an email saying I will finish planning the activity I am doing now and this is the last one because I have too much going on in my life and I need to step back, which is true.

Well done! Do you feel relieved?

Dont let them bully you into doing anything else!!!

Well done. Stick to your decision. Life it too short to do things you don’t want to do or that are causing you stress.

Good on you.
It must feel like a weigbt off your shoulder. Well done for how hard you worked for them.
And for them, they will understand the saying 'you don't know what you have u til you lose it'. They took you for granted.

Should they realise that they will be silly to lose you, stick with your resolve, get a breather.

Well done! Enjoy the freedom 💐

I'm glad this thread popped up. I have done several voluntary gigs over the years. Favourites: helping out at primary school, Brownies, speaker for an animal charity. Loved them, only gave up because life got in the way.
Worst: a committee where the one person was insane, everyone had to suck up to her, fawn all over her or else she threw a major screaming tantrum. It was all very cliquey, I exposed the fact that she was telling lies. OMG!! It was explosive! I was ostracized. Walked away from that one.
The next committee I was involved in had a similar character, acted all soppy but then was an utter bitch if opposed. She was capable of telling lies too. And taking credit for things she hadn't done. (There's a lot of those about) That was a cliquey committee with a large turnover of volunteers.
Advice to anyone thinking of volunteering. Do not become treasurer. You will be accused of fiddling the books. Some of them actually do fiddle the books. It's something I have always avoided.
Currently, I am on a committee of idiots. They literally couldn't organise a booze up in a brewery. They have tried and failed. They will not listen to common sense. They will not listen to experience. They are cliquey too.
I am stepping back for a while, and will disappear when they are looking for idiots, volunteers to do things. For example, fork out £200 of my own money upfront on a regular basis when organising things -although there is a cash float of several hundreds of pounds.
I'm also stepping back from helping an elderly neighbour because I am taken for granted and they just expect me to do it. I'm also going to stop inviting 'ungrateful guests' to come around.
Happy New Year.

Well done OP.

Do the absolute bare minimum for the last task and if possible hand it over on the day.
Be wary of users trying to guilt you to stay on.
They won't want the useful mug downing tools and stepping back.

One day I had a pain in the arse come up and try to guilt me as she needed volunteers to prep food.
I didn't like her and had no intention of getting into any discussion, so I said "excuse me, was on my way to the loo" and walked out the side door.🤣

She actually texted me to ask where I was an hour or so later, which I simply never replied to.

You need to be hard nosed.
I wasn't attending whatever unnecessary thing she was organising in the club, so had no intention of being dragged into it after my game.

I am in my local WI , that is very committee / women who are friends of them / if you are in the liked group etc very cliquey .
If you are in that group you get a birthday card & a mention at groups with clapping / a card if you are ill and flowers sent to your home . Don't fit that group = jack shit !
I'm not going to renew my membership .

Well done OP!
The only thing you will regret is not doing it sooner!!

You sound depressed. Do please quit now before you become ill, which is no joke I can tell you. You deserve a good rest; you need one.

Well done OP.
You will not regret it.I've gone through something similar recently, but I was so done with it that I emailed my manager the night before I left.
All worked out well.It's been a great relief.
Kindly though, you are still working for them, why not just step down immediately ?
They may try to rope you in to just one more event, one more month etc.

Well done - I wouldnt even finish the current one.

Be prepared for promises of more help in future and flattering comments telling you how amazing you are and they need you.

Theres thousands of social groups on fb - find some local ones, the ones I’m a member of have walks, meals and evenings out, but everyone buys their own tickets and meets at a concert or event, or pays money in advance for a meal out. No one does everything, and we wouldn’t want anyone to.

@TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026 get ready for the guilt tripping. Hopefully not though? And maybe flattery, how good you are at it.

They can flatter me all they want but I ca't do it. I have too much stress in my life right now. I have a lot of issues to deal with at work and in my home life which is sucking the life blood out of me, and this became a second job.

One thing I do know is that I can deal with a lot of things, but when it comes to people, they drain me.

OP, that situation would drain anyone.
It sounds positively toxic.
You will be well out of it.
Mind yourself.

@TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026 that's good. You'll feel so relieved once you're totally out of it.
I wonder when they'll reply?

@TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026 I wouldn't have even bothered to agree to finish the current event.
I would have just quit full stop.
Don't let them try and persuade you to stay.

I would ask for help with this last event so that someone else knows the ropes, and gradually back out of this final event too. Say you need a team of four, for example, and consider cancelling if no-one comes forward. Say it is necessary to hand over - if noone helps you can assume the social events are not important to them.

Have they replied to you?

I think you just need to learn to say no to admin. Committee posts in most hobbies / sports have got more onerous due to the boom in ‘ governance’ and increasingly ridiculous insurance requirements as people are more litigious. Many clubs will fold due to this. It saps all the fun out of organisations