I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

Like everyone else is saying, STOP NOW! Fuck em, they clearly dont give two about you do they?
If you stay until October 2026 out of some madness of loyalty they will bleed you dry. And dont he fooled that there will be any form of gratitude when you leave either.
These people are not friends, they are parasites.

Just Quit.

My friend got roped into this at a club with a committee for the women’s events. Interestingly the men’s events were organised by a paid admin person.

Quit now, and don't give any excuses because they will pick apart your reasons, or say 'Oh, but we'll help you now...' And then they won't.

And from my high rock of ancientness, let me tell you that it will feel bad at first but also exhilarating and a relief, and you will get better at it if you practice... 😄

Oooh, infuriating! 😡

When though OP? Don't let this hang over you for one more day. You owe them nothing.

I agree quit today. No excuses. What's the worst that can happen? They're unappreciative anyway. Taking you for a mug which you are being to be honest. Let this be one of life's lessons. We all get them.

Quit today, right this second.

Glad to hear you are going to quit. If they are unwelcoming that makes it very easy. The other option is saying it's too much, if no one steps up to share you will leave in x weeks. Which gives you a softer less confrontational exit if your feeling a bit weak ( just quitting asap is better imo).

"I have found the last few months has proved that this role is too much for me to do on my own. Seeing as I have a job and family, I can not commit to this level of responsibility going forward. I feel exhausted after Christmas, so I'm going to fully step back from everything as of today for 2 weeks. If no one else can be found to step up and share the load / take over / me to train up I will be leaving the role / club on x date."

Yes I'm pretty ancient too. We don't give as many fucks do we 🤣

I agree with everyone else. I can see how you got into this position, as it is easy to say yes to small things until they start realising that you will say yes to everything.

You either only help out if other people are helping you and pulling their weight. But I think you are too far in for that so I would just quit. Make something up if it makes it easier - you’ve had more responsibility at work; the families schedule is busier so you can volunteer - all probably slightly true anyway.

This is the best thing to say.

Offer no further explanation

Just quit now and find a new hobby. You can try whatever hobbies you like and you don't owe anybody your time.

Honestly OP, email your resignation and be done with it.
I mean it really kindly but they have an idiot made of you.
No one would do this.
You are being used.
Email your resignation.
You owe these people nothing.
I have seen a few people get caught up like this, allow themselves to be used and they lose all enjoyment for the activity involved.
You did your bit, you are done.

Look at your self-esteem and put effort into that.
It really isn't normal to allow yourself to be used singlehandedly to organise a golf club party?
I have heard of some bullshit, but never that.
Mind yourself.

Just quit and walk away. Your injured so unavailable

Resign today. New year. New start. Don't delay.

This is chat GPT's go at a resignation letter which gives you a good starting point.

Dear [Name],

I am writing to formally resign from my voluntary position, effective [date].

While I initially took on this role with enthusiasm, the workload has been significantly greater than was outlined at the outset. Additionally, despite raising concerns and requesting support, this has not been provided. As a result, I am no longer able to continue in the role.

I feel this is the best decision given the circumstances. I wish the organisation all the best moving forward.

Kind regards,

This nails it!

Agree with this but don't explain anything, 'No' is a sentence.

Just quit now. It's a volunteer thing, so no one can make you stay.

My spidey senses are telling me they leapt on you to volunteer because you were new and keen. Basically, they targeted someone naive because they knew no one else wanted the job.

Email the chairperson now.
"Dear Fred, I'm emailing you to formally inform you of my decision to resign from the voluntary role of X, effective immediately.
I look forward to seeing you out on the course soon!
Kind regards,
OP"

Yes, you might have agreed to stay on until October in a moment of madness, but they can't make you!
Unfortunately, so many clubs and hobbies are run off the free labour of the begrudging few.

I would walk away, you are getting nothing but stress for this and for them to be clique and rude is playground behaviour.
Keep your head high and go.
It reminds me of when mine were small and started Beavers and Scouts, it was totally draining.

A family member had an allotment, and was asked to take over being Treasury, of the club that oversee all the allotment owners. She deeply regretted it. Lots of politics, whinging members, no help and ended up being a general dogs body too. Sounds very much, what you're experiencing. You don't owe these people a bean. Tell them that the 31st January, will be your last formal day in the position. Resign from it in writing. I wouldn't be staying at the golf club either, these people have just used you for their own purposes. They are no friends.

OP I do think it might help you to unpick why you are not happy to be alone? I suspect that this is, at least, part of the reason why you have been so easily targetted by users?

If only all problems were as easy to solve as this one OP. Delighted you're quitting, there are no drawbacks for you at all as far as I can see. Don't explain yourself, just say 'I'm done'.

Im glad you are going to quit.
Why not try an evening class at a local college - you only need to commit to a term at a time and you can try out lots of different things
Or the WEA https://www.wea.org.uk/ www.wea.org.uk/]]]] who run short courses all over the UK

then, if you find something that clicks you can go deeper into it.

Ive made some lovely friends doing an evening class

It sounds like you are a people pleaser and that’s not a bad thing entirely, it’s lovely that you want to reach out with new friends. I think you answered your own question in the last paragraph. Your feelings in loneliness are internal and this is very common with people pleasers. You’ll only end up feeling unappreciated if you don’t set internal boundaries. Take a step back, don’t give up golf entirely.

Best decision. A couple of significant times in my life I have realised I’m doing all the giving and getting nothing back from certain ungrateful bastards. They aren’t worth it. You’ll be glad you decided not to be their dogsbody anymore.