I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

I agreed to do this when I first joined, but it quickly turned out to be cliquey and unwelcoming and petty!

Agree also with other poster that I am beginning to hate it because of the stress and bother.

I am going to quit.

Tell them you’re stopping now and if anyone gets stroppy, turn it back on them ‘you misled me about how much time this was going to take and nobody gave me any support when I asked for it.’

I narrowly avoided being in a similar situation where I volunteered for a small role with a community group and when I got more information about it, it turned out to be much more work and very stressful so I stepped aside before I even started.

Oh, and there was a strong smell of internal politics.

Good. Life is far too short to put yourself through this shit when you don't have to. It's a massive waste of your precious time. You'll feel great once the burden has been lifted.

Write down what you want to say.
You may need to spray the message on the grass with weedkiller though for them to notice. - but DO NOT DO THAT - give them a written letter explaining that you are giving up the role and that they should be nicer to the next person.

Cannot believe that these events are wholly and solely organised etc buy only you with not one bit of help. It’s outrageous!!

They have massively taken the piss. Leave right now.

I would be tempted to say-

I would like to formally step down from the voluntary position of xxx effectively immediately.
What was supposed to be a fun and sociable outlet for me has turned into a chore with no support for the recent events organisation, despite me asking. This has left with me no choice but to step down from the admin role as it is too big for one person to complete on a voluntary basis.

With best wishes for the future,

"I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting."

I do hope that you mean you are quitting as of TODAY and not in a few months time. Organise absolutely nothing for these lazy entitled ungrateful fuckers - you are a volunteer, not an employee and you can withdraw at any time - and that time should be now.

I hope your shoulder gets better soon.
((hug))

Thank goodness you’re quitting, well done! And don’t be guilted or charmed into staying on a moment longer just because you ‘agreed’. You can quit jobs and this isn’t even a job. You’ve been massively taken for granted. Screw them!

Do what my kid's PTA do when events are being requested by demanding parents who the are to "busy" to hell ever. State very clearly if X event is to go ahead then i need a list of X amount of volunteers to help and who will commit to X jobs and to X help on X day. Set a date if you dont get the offers of help you state categorically X event is now cancelled because of lack of volunteers then cancel it. The state due to the lack of support I will be stepping down immediately.

They are doing this to you because they know you will run oeganise it all anyway. Your time is as precious as everyone else's if they want these events they help organise and run them. You owe nobody anything here so if you stop they can deal with it.

Quit and find another hobbie. You need to put yourself first.

Just saw your update OP well done make sure and tell them exactly why you are quitting.

If you don't quit with immediate effect, you're a total mug.

I imagine some middle-aged white guy with a title actually claims all your efforts.

October is a clever date, that'll run until Christmas, then bleed into the new year... You'd be a fool to continue.

Claim credit in your resignation for all your hard work, positively look forward to people enjoying anything you've sown the seeds of for the spring, summer, and beyond. You just know having a few people to share the role will continue your work for the enjoyment of club's members. Circulate your resignation widely.

Then breathe a sigh of relief and find something to enjoy again.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic

That doesn't stop you quitting now. I would. I just wouldn't put up with it any more.
They are taking the piss. You are injured and can't even participate in actually playing the game which was why you joined in the first place. You said you wanted to join to meet new people (you did and it turned out lots of them were twats) and to get some exercise (which you now can't do because you are injured). So it's not serving its purpose ay more.

It would be a different story if there was a fun team working together to organize events and working with them was fun socially and could tide you over until you are able to play again. But no, they just dumped everything on you and have treated you badly.

Quit now. Don't wait until Oct 2026. Fuck them.

When your injury heals enough to play again you can either find another club to join or find some people who want to play socially. Or if the injury means you can't play again you can find some other hobby instead.

A hobby is a hobby and it's your free time and if you are feeling down about it, it's time to quit.

They’re taking the p out of you, quit now, you owe them nothing.

Resign now. It’s not worth it.

As a PP said, you owe them nothing.

@TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026 ask chat gpt to draft you a resignation email if you’re stuck

• it’s not a job so you owe them nothing
• your circumstances have changed and you can not continue as of TODAY

If it helps today is the most popular day for people to resign - part of the new year reflections so it’s the perfect day!!

good luck x

i saw both your posts.. honestly, grow a pair and tell them to get fucked. You're not obliged to do ANY of the stuff you've promised if you're not enjoying it and they're taking the piss.

Find a different golf club when you're ready to play again.

No is an entire sentence when you're asked to do something you don't want to/don't have time for.

quit now.
as someone who does two lots of volunteering, you need to get something from it, and one of those things gs is appreciation. if you're not enjoying it, why are you doing it? this isn't even some charity where your effort is making the world a better place. it's just a group of people who realosed you're a soft touch

Please just quit now. Why isn’t there a few of you to do the things that are needed and then the tasks can be shared out? It’s not fair for it all to be lumbered on you. Especially if you didn’t get any thanks for it also.

With people moaning you just can’t help that. We used to get it when I was on the PTA. We used to say thank you for your feedback , why don’t you come and join us and help us change things. They used to respond ‘we don’t have time’ well neither did we, but if they want different things they have to participate.

Are you still paying membership fees while doing this, in which case the first thing you should be doing is cancelling the direct debit.
You don’t owe these people anything, just leave.

and don't hold back on telling them why!

"with immediate effect I am withdrawing myself as a member of X Gold Club. Due it the expectations put on me, the lack of support and the internal politics, I no longer feel this is a good fit for me.

Just quit! You may have agreed to keep going until October, but just withdraw saying due to health concerns you are unable to continue in this role with immediate effect. And you are not lying. You sound stressed and miserable. Your mental health matters.

But also, you do need to stick up for yourself. If everyone else was too busy to help make the Christmas Party happen, so were you. I'd have sent a note around saying, 'due to lack of volunteers, we're going to have to cancel the party this year. I appreciate that everyone is very busy at this time, as am I. I simply can't do it all single-handed.'

The truth is, roles like that need bossy Linda Snell types at the helm, who badger people into taking on some of the work. Gentler souls like you end up doing it all as you don't want to be pushy. It's not a good fit for you.

Can you join a different golf club and start again with firmer boundaries on your time?

They sound like a bunch of bastards OP. Taking advantage of your good nature and conscientiousness.
Glad to read you're quitting. Make sure you say "with immediate effect" - and just return everything to the club. Maybe they'll learn & treat the next person better.

Quit immediately, find a new club and just play golf