I feel down about the hobby I took up

[TonightImGoingToPartyLikeIts2026]

I have name changed a few times on this site, and I have talked about my hobby before if you recognise some of this.

2 years ago I joined a local golf club and had lessons and joined a league. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to meet new people and do some exercise.

At first I loved it, and I was motivated to do it. Now it has turned into a nightmare. I met a few nice people, but now I am not so sure.

In the early days I was approached to help out with the admin and organising activities and this has turned into a nightmare for me. Fast forward to today and I am not actually doing the hobby because I have injured my shoulder, but I am spending hours and hours on the things that need to be done.

Before Christmas I was running round like a headless chicken for them, and asked for support but they were all too busy. I ended up organising the whole Christmas party (had to buy the food, organise venue, drinks and ended up serving all night) and didn't get to talk to anyone. I got a few thanks, and a lot of grumbles about preferring this and that. I also had to organise trophies, prizes etc. With my own life, job and other things going on in my life I felt really overwhelmed and I reached out twice for help and no one offered. They said they wanted to be at the party and enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately I agreed to carry on doing this until Oct 2026, when things were not so hectic.

I do have a couple more things to organise before the summer, but then I am quitting. What I have said to my DH is that I am not getting anything out of this golf, and in fact it feels like a 2nd job.

I am tired, stressed, and I no longer want to play golf because of it and feel I have not made any friends. It is also rife with politics.

I have a lovely DH, great DC and a couple of really good friends. I don't know why I feel like I need to go out and socialise more and why I feel lonely. As a family we go out loads together and are very close knit. I wish I could just take a pill and enjoy my own company when we are not doing anything.

The very fact that it's a hobby and not a job means it should be fun, enjoyable, and you want to do it. For you, none of this is true.

Get out now. Tell them you are resigning because it is far more work than you had envisaged, you struggled to get help when you needed, and any pleasure in playing golf has disappeared. Tell them they have till the end of the month to find a replacement, and you leave then, whether they have or haven't.

And then look for a new hobby ,,,,

When they saw you , they saw mug . I'm not saying that to be personally horrible , but someone there ( probably , lets call them the last mug. ) was the one that passed that crown into you .
Stop doing it .

Just stop doing it. Honestly it really is that simple. Take a deep breath, email somone and say "unfortunately due to my health I cannot continue to do X role and as of today will need to step away". Then just don't. No one is paying you to do this.

Leave now. You own them nothing and they clearly don't care about you.

Like everyone else i think you should quit now. I would be very honest with them - after having had to organise the whole christmas party myself with no support despite repeated requests I am afraid I can no longer continue in the role, particularly as I can't even play golf right now with a bad shoulder. I am sorry about this as I would have loved to have continued, but my health has suffered as a result of the stress and exhaustion of recent weeks. I wish you all the best.

Perhaps in future they should recruit two people to take on this role or a little committee. It's disgraceful you were left to do it all yourself without even much in the way of thanks.

I don't get this at all - you can just quit today? Just do it. You don't like it, you've made no friends, so just stop going. Just think, one short text message "Just to let you know that as from now, I am leaving the club and stepping down from all responsibilities", then block them. And you're done, free! If you dropped dead tomorrow they'd sort something. They are treating you like utter shit - a slave really. Awful, shocking behaviour from them.

I've been involved with a few organisations/hobbies that need volunteers to run them. I have gone on the committee a few times, but I never commit to more than I can do (which isn't very much), despite the pressure I've been put under sometimes. In fact, I've left if I feel that the pressure to do more is too much and/or I feel like I'm drifting into doing too much despite pushing back. And like you, I don't directly think "I'm leaving because they're asking me to do too much", instead, what always happens, is that I stop enjoying being part of that hobby/organisation, and I leave because I end up hating it.

It may be that you're an extrovert who enjoys more friends/company than just your immediate family, there's nothing wrong with that. If this is so, then find another golf club, or another hobby/organisation altogether - there are 1000s of them to choose from - just keep going until you find somewhere that suits, that's what I do, especially with one particular hobby I do.

I’ve been there, and learned the hard way that quitting now is the absolute best thing to do!

Ask yourself three questions:

1. Who has created this obligation? (It’s you by the way)
2. What are the consequences of failing to meet this obligation? (It’s none - the people at the club will problem solve like the adults they are and fill the gap)
3. What are the benefits of meeting the obligation? (It’s none - they won’t be grateful really and you will receive no learning, social benefit or experience you will value).

Quit quit quit!

YWBU to keep doing this until October with no support.

YANBU to feel upset about how it has turned out.

Don't feel guilty about walking away. If you feel able to, it would also be good to explain your reasons. Hopefully, they will be more considerate to the next 'volunteer'.

Just say you’re no longer able to do it and then leave. Don’t be a wet lettuce.

And for the love of God don’t mention your mental health… organising a hobby Christmas do has not had a profound effect on your psychology. You’re stressed and busy and don’t like doing it and that is reason enough.

Resign now - if you need to then give a few weeks notice. This gives them plenty of time to get someone else to take over before summer & plan events.

In your position I would be brutally honest with feedback on reason for resignation

My granny used to say "A willing horse is always saddled"!!! You are that person. As long as you let them use you, you will be used. Stop now, send a polite but firm message to whoever is overseeing all of this (Club Captain?) and stop with immediate effect.

Oh gosh, my dear friend is ladies captain of the golf club. I often go to the clubhouse with her for drinks or dinner and the amount of times she gets interupted with 'arrangements' or people who just want to 'have a word' about some slight or misdemenour or something they have deemed is wrong, is, well it's kind of comical.

She is a very laid back person (but also very busy) and seems to take it in her stride, but the petty politics is insane. It reminds me of Kurtain and the bowls club in This Country.

So I think a) this behaviour is par for the course <boom boom> and b) your magic pill for enjoying your own company is to repeat the mantra 'at least I'm not at the golf club.'

Just quit - you have an injury and you can’t do that and get enough rest surely?! … btw they’re taking the absolute piss!

Quit now. What's the point in doing it for longer when you feel so awful and aren't getting anything from it? Its an unnecessary burden. Make sure you tell them exactly why you're quitting.

Quit now. You’re not even playing golf. You owe them nothing. Do not carry on for another day

“I am really sorry to tell you but I will have to take a step back from the admin and organising I have been doing. Regards”

Simple.

For god's sake OP just quit now and find a new club.

They're not paying you. You have no contract. You have no obligation or notice period.

Just tell them you're stepping down with immediate effect and don't let them guilt you into any more of the donkey work.

As others have said you need to resign now. Is there another golf club you could move to? What about the Ramblers or similar walking groups. I know nothing about these groups so they could be as bad

Excellent advice above from many posters. Bottom line, just quit now. You would be mad to carry on this thankless task till October. Why ruin your entire year for absolutely nothing? Prioritise yourself and your family rather than this selfish bunch of users.

If you're going to volunteer for this, that, the other and the rest, it's not surprising that people come to rely on you.

Quit the golf, take up a different hobby and this time, don't volunteer to run it all for them.

Just quit today-send them an email.

I honestly don't get why people martyr themselves like this?

Just stop now. I have done this in the past, trust me, no one is grateful for your service.

A lot of people get sucked into these helping roles if they're not careful. My mate once called into her local WI and found herself being their treasurer, and I dare not put my head around the door of my local U3A branch, because they'll try to rope me into being some kind of organiser. This golf club lot have had a really good run with you, OP. leave and never come back, that's what I'd do. Block them. Bloody piss takers.

Are you working for the golf club or the league, do you have an official title? It mad how someone new to the club has got suckered into organising the entire Christmas dinner and all the trophies etc.
If you have a title is it an elected role so you just tell them at the next meeting that you have to stand down for personal reasons

Sadly people can be very selfish and entitled. They won't help because they want to enjoy it.. if everybody helped then everybody would get to enjoy it.

I used to help run a toddler group and we would have parents claiming that they couldn't help to set up and put away because they had kids... err so did we, and we managed it..

I think you should give say a months notice, and quit now. State the facts without getting nasty or personal about anyone, just that it is too much work for one person and that you reached out for help and nobody would help you.