I'm going mad. Maybe

[AnonyMouse33]

Husband went to friends house and got in hot tub and was joined by three women. All above board but I'm upset that it's inappropriate and obviously I wasnt there.
For context, we're a Christian family and this just got to me, as I would never put myself in this position I would be so worried that it would be insensitive and inappropriate. He doesn't agree with me at all, though he's apologised.

Is this unreasonable? He said most people would be totally fine with it?

Yes it is.

That’s an excellent and balanced answer, Judy. In in contrast to the bigoted, pompous, self-congratulatory statement to which you were replying.

Religion: The root of all evil.

Good men will do good things. Evil men will do evil. But to cause a good man to do evil needs religion.

Were they all naked?

"Biggest bunch of holier than thou hypocrites in the whole world are self-righteous Christians"

What on earth are you talking about @EchoesOfOurDreams? The fact that this stands out in such a vile thread is some achievement. You think OP is a holier than thou, self righteous hypocrite because she told someone (who was being deliberately provocative among a sea of twats also behaving like disrespectful kids) to MOVE ON? You ridiculous person.

What a horrible bunch of people on this thread. Mumsnet truly embarrassing itself yet again. You just can't behave like grown up women can you.

And @Qwerty21 there's absolutely nothing unchristian about telling disrespectful people to move on OR do better. Christians don't have to be passive and allow people to say whatever they like about them or to twist their words without response. Believe it or not, they're allowed to have their say and defend themselves too. What were you thinking?

But was it a religious gathering, do they wear particular holy garments and did they keep them on in the hot tub? It’s what we are all wondering!?

The fact that OP has had her thread completely derailed by anti Christian bigotry speaks volumes...about most of you, that is. Not OP.

I'm sure it felt good for you all at the time to have your say and let OP know why Christianity is so evil and you probably thought you did well at twisting her words into something they weren't.

I'm sure you thought you were doing a great job of painting her religion in a bad light. But you've all just come across as awful, intolerant bigots.
All you've managed to do is make the Christians (and the kind, supportive non-Christians, of course) look perfectly reasonable, patient and tolerant.

Well done on lacking any self control and being completely incompetent, I suppose.

gOoD oNe dUuurrrp duuurrr 🥴

Yes everyone is TOTALLY wondering that.

Oh come off it.

Morals and conduct are universal human traits. Nothing to do with religion.

Please feel free to demonstrate any correlation between religious identity and superior moral conduct or behaviour.

I wonder if people would be being so rude if the OP was Muslim? I have to think not, which really doesn't make any sense.

Regardless, the OP isn't trying to preach, or push anything weird, she's just wondering if she's unreasonable to be bothered that her husband has done something that to her, feels like breaking the boundaries they've both previously agreed on.

People mocking OP for having those boundaries are like people coming onto a cheating thread and mocking the OP for being upset about cheating because they're all in open relationships and think closed ones are silly and prudish – it doesn't matter. It's about the established boundaries of OP's relationship being broken, not about what others would be okay with.

I believe the poster you're replying to just means that being Christian is relevant to this OP as they're more likely to have stronger, more restrictive expectations around modesty in their behaviour with the opposite sex than general society does.

In fact, @EatShitDel specifically says that being religious doesn't make one morally superior. I don't know where you got that from.

"Oh come off it.

Morals and conduct are universal human traits. Nothing to do with religion.

Please feel free to demonstrate any correlation between religious identity and superior moral conduct or behaviour."

No YOU come off it @DallazMajor.
Please feel free to point out where I suggested that superior moral conduct was unique to religious people.
This is coming purely from your own personal insecurities, I said nothing of the sort. In fact I took the time to reminded you all that different ≠ better. And as is clear from this thread, OPs feelings on the hot tub differs from many non-Christians so she wasn't wrong.

Thank you @OtterlyAstounding and I agree with everything you say.
Honestly, there is so much hypocrisy and bitter hatred on this site. It's actually getting me down.

What personal insecurities do you think I have?

You do realise that every thread you make you are contradicting yourself and also being very rude. Please learn how to control yourself.

It's odd. I mean, I'm far from religious and usually don't have much truck with it, but this thread really didn't seem like it should prompt hostility! And I really don't think the same hostility would be directed at other religions.

It was a very simple question, with the OP's mention of her religion giving context to the fact that she has more 'strict' boundaries than many people might consider 'the norm' these days, so they know the dynamic of OP's relationship before they answer.

Honestly, people like @DallazMajor are just being unnecessarily cruel, mocking OP's boundaries. I'd like to see how they'd feel if they were cheated on, and people in open relationships, who think closed relationships are stifling, prudish, and old-fashioned, all mocked them for it.

I agreed with the OP. Her husband was acting disrespectfully and that it’s not on that he broke their personal boundaries.

Is he a practicing Christian too or just goes along with it? If he is, I’m surprised he went for it. My partner is Christian and I’m pretty sure this would be really frowned upon. Not that Christians are known for practicing what they preach, but still.

I’m not religious myself and I would find it incredibly disrespectful. I wouldn’t get into a hot tub alone with 3 men neither.

Exactly @OtterlyAstounding

I've noticed this trend on any thread where Christians and Christianity is mentioned (even when it isn't the point of the thread). People on here just can't help themselves and it definitely attracts a lot more hostility than if a poster mentioned any other religion.

I genuinely believe this type of response to other religions would trigger accusations of Islamophobia, anti semitism or bigotry (and rightly so). So I wonder, why is it that the so-called tolerant, anti-bigot, progressive Mumsnet crowd have such a blind spot when it comes to certain groups?

Ive always thought of religion as a sort of OCD thing. It's, for me, like creating an artificial/ neurotic reality ( for example, the idea of sin everywhere,) and then having to.engage with and perform.ritualistic thoughts and behaviours as a resolution to the ' problem'.

When have I said I feel personally attacked?

If you think I’m a bigot because I asked if the hot tub contained holy water then you really need to chill your jets.

My comment about the hot tub was a flippant remark and not an act of bigotry.

It was an attempt to redirect the absurdity of the connection between the hot tub dip and being Christian.

I’d already said that the husbands was disrespectful if it fell outside the couples usual conduct.

Oh gosh, sorry @DallazMajor - I read your last few posts in which you seemed irritated with OP bringing up Christianity, but that's not the same thing as mocking her, of course. I shouldn't have assumed!

The hot tub would not have bothered me

For goodness sake, what a pointless, cyclical back and forth this is @DallazMajor
You know full well what you said, and what I was responding to. YOU had an issue with OP including that she was a Christian as context. I pointed out that all those things you had concluded from her statement was coming from your own head. You then doubled down and felt the need to inform me that good morals aren't exclusive to religious people (despite my pointing out that those assumptions were coming from your own head) and you asked me to demonstrate a correlation that I had never made. I asked you to point out where I'd made the correlation, which went unanswered. That is what my disagreement with you is. Not whether you agree with the husband's conduct.

I used the word bigot because of all of the assumptions you made purely on the fact that OP informed us she was a Christian. Nowhere did I mention your little joke. And there was no need to redirect, as it's been explained to you already. It wasn't an absurd connection for OP to include her faith. And it's not for you to decide what's relevant anyway.