Teen son been a victim of a scam

[worriedmum223]

NC for this. Over the weekend my ds14 has been the victim of a sextortion scam. He was contacted on Tik Tok by someone posing as a girl who coerced him into sending nude photos. As soon as they had them they threatened to leak them to his Tik Tok contacts unless he paid money. My son did not initially tell us, but we had notifications from his bank account of him trying to access money which prompted a discussion and despite initially lying about the reason, he did eventually come clean.

I am absolutely heartbroken and shocked. He was beside himself and in tears. I’ve never seen him so shaken. I have drilled into him from a young age the dangers of social media and how you never speak to strangers and certainly never share personal information or photos. I have contacted the police and am meeting with them later today but trying to keep my son out of it for now because he is so mortified and upset.

I am worried on a number of counts.

Firstly if they do actually leak the photos which would be horrific for him. Although I’m led to believe this is rare and they are more likely to just move onto the next victim when they realise it’s a dead end.

Secondly if they try to contact him again now that they have his number and email address (all contact via Tik Tok and WhatsApp has been blocked but they could find other ways). His phone has been removed at the moment but he will need it back at some point and I can’t monitor it all the time ( when he’s at school etc).

Thirdly whether he could be in trouble himself for sending and asking for explicit photos at his age.

But mostly the emotional impact this could have on him. He was so embarrassed and upset. The fact he didn’t initially feel like he could be honest has upset me. And of course that he did this full stop. I get teenage boys have raging hormones but it’s such a stupid and out of character thing for him to do.

Please no lectures about social media. All of his friends have it, it’s part of life and I really thought I’d done a good job educating him about the dangers. If anyone else has been through this please let me know your experience and what happened next.

You need to contact the police.

I don’t think they would actually leak them due to your son’s age that is a much more serious crime of distributing those photos. Sorry no experience on this but I would reassure your son the photos won’t be going anywhere

You need to read the full post.

Nathan McErlean's Story
Nathan, a 25-year-old postman at the time, was on holiday in Santa Ponsa when he was added on Snapchat by an account he believed to be a woman. After exchanging messages for two weeks, he was persuaded to send an explicit photo of himself. Immediately after, the scammer sent back a screenshot of his photo along with pictures of his face and a list of his Instagram followers, demanding £3,000 to prevent the images from being shared.
Instead of paying, McErlean feigned indifference to the blackmailer. When the blackmailer attempted to share the images with his Instagram followers, Nathan quickly made his profile private, reported the images (which were removed by Instagram), and warned his followers. He later shared his experience on Instagram, receiving significant support, and chose to speak out publicly to encourage other victims, emphasizing that "it's not the end of the world".

Could they be traced

Point taken, I haven't had my morning coffee yet!

This is how to do it.

Call the scumbag's bluff. Go full publicity on 'this happened, look at how scummy they are.'

There will be embarrassment, but that's to be learned from. The police will not be turning on your son, it's not in the public interest. He is the minor, he is the victim.

Thank god he spoke to you. There’s been reports of suicides because of these scams
hold your boy tight, he’s been silly but it’s not the end of the world. The police will be used to dealing with this particular scam.

It’s bad OP but not the end of the world. Your son is 14 he won’t get into trouble over this. Maybe get him to read about the guy I posted about. You have done the right thing by going to the police.

He can have his phone back when needed but has the social media account been deleted or he can still access?

have you put controls in place for his screen time in general? Surely things will change after this ?

Horrible experience for him. But a very salutary one. He knows from a young age how wrong it can go sending intimate photos and is unlikely to do it again.

I am certain he has learnt his lesson and it’s been a lesson for me too, not to trust him explicitly and assume he is as sensible as I’d previously thought. There will be changes made.

The number was international so I doubt the police will actually be able to do anything but I am giving them all of the information regardless.

Your poor son. Unfortunately, he is at an age when it doesn’t matter how much he’s heard or learnt at school on protecting his privacy, he has let the thought of some girl get the better of him.

We have no idea whether the photos will be leaked, but even I’m sure it’s pretty unlikely.

The scammers don’t actually want to do any work for themselves, they are just after a quick buck.

After speaking to the police, you can only reassure your son and praise him for his honesty - even if it wasn’t immediate or volunteered.

If he has blocked them and not paid anything, it's likely they won't 'waste' any more of their valuable scamming time on him - they'll move on to find more victims.

It's great that your son felt able to tell you what had happened after overcoming his understandable embarrassment, and you've done all the right things in blocking his profiles and contacting the police.

Just call the scammers bluff. Tell them you have contacted the police, and remind them that distributing child pornography is an extremely serious crime.

Please tell your son nobody is perfect. My very conscientious and bright sister in law almost lost her entire savings due to a scam. Tell him how proud you are that he did eventually confide in you (this is huge) It will feel crap now but eventually it will be ok again. His mental health may be very fragile after this, we all make mistakes and the import thing is we learn and grow and don't let them define us.

If you’re concerned about them (or others they sell his details to) contacting him, you can ring his network provider and ask them to change his mobile number (without having to swap the SIM).

I had to do this for elderly (and unfortunately confused / vulnerable) MIL after she got on a scam target list of some sort. They were calling her from different numbers multiple times a day and blocking each incoming number was hopeless.

Well done for contacting the police, however I don’t think you will be able to keep your son out of it (nor do I think you should).

Hopefully the police will be able to offer some reassurance regarding likely outcomes and help with online safety going forward.

It’s a hard lesson but the good thing is you now are aware of it and can take action.

I have a teen DS and this terrifies me, like you we have regular chats about this kind of thing and can only hope that he would never do anything like this. Short of removing online access and devices we can only hope they take on board the warnings.

Hope you’re all ok - he is obviously mortified but ultimately will be glad I’m sure that you are helping him through this.

Good luck

I’m sorry this is horrid. Just praise him for confiding in you, reassure him he’s not in trouble. Tell him due to being a minor it’s unlikely they will release the photos - maybe ask him if he has any friends who had their photos released as evidence it’s unlikely to happen to him. It likely other kids have fallen for scam it’s just not known about

I very much doubt they will publish the photos. More trouble than its worth.

Your son will - unfortunately - be one of many, and secrecy and shame are the scammers tools of trade so they don't want publicity.

They will focus on easier pickings, the most money for the least effort.

This happened to my son too and he was under 16. He was in such a panic that he thankfully told us and we called the police. They logged it and did seem to take it seriously because of his age. DS told the scammer that he had told his parents and the police and as he was under age they were taking it further.
Anyway he heard nothing else from the scammer so presumed they just moved on to the next victim. An awful life lesson for him. Hope your son is ok x

He will not be in any trouble. He is a 14 year old boy who made a mistake. And it's really positive that he told you. Meet the police, take the safeguarding advice, support your son and you will move on from this. I would make any accounts private or delete them. It is highly unlikely any images will be shared. He is 14 so this would be a criminal act. Not worth the risk when they can just move on to another victim. This is bad but I don't think it says anything about your son. I think most 14 year old boys could be vulnerable to this.

We are considering changing his number and deleting the email address that they are aware of. The Tik Tok account has been blocked but we will delete his account too once I’ve seen the police and they have all the information off it that they need. I replied to the scammers saying it was his mother and we are aware of this stop contacting him, plus a few other choice words.

I could hardly bring myself to read the messages as they were being so cruel to him and his replies were absolutely heartbreaking to read. He was in complete panic.

I am praying that the photos won’t be leaked but it’s very upsetting to think that they are out there somewhere.