Teen son been a victim of a scam

[worriedmum223]

NC for this. Over the weekend my ds14 has been the victim of a sextortion scam. He was contacted on Tik Tok by someone posing as a girl who coerced him into sending nude photos. As soon as they had them they threatened to leak them to his Tik Tok contacts unless he paid money. My son did not initially tell us, but we had notifications from his bank account of him trying to access money which prompted a discussion and despite initially lying about the reason, he did eventually come clean.

I am absolutely heartbroken and shocked. He was beside himself and in tears. I’ve never seen him so shaken. I have drilled into him from a young age the dangers of social media and how you never speak to strangers and certainly never share personal information or photos. I have contacted the police and am meeting with them later today but trying to keep my son out of it for now because he is so mortified and upset.

I am worried on a number of counts.

Firstly if they do actually leak the photos which would be horrific for him. Although I’m led to believe this is rare and they are more likely to just move onto the next victim when they realise it’s a dead end.

Secondly if they try to contact him again now that they have his number and email address (all contact via Tik Tok and WhatsApp has been blocked but they could find other ways). His phone has been removed at the moment but he will need it back at some point and I can’t monitor it all the time ( when he’s at school etc).

Thirdly whether he could be in trouble himself for sending and asking for explicit photos at his age.

But mostly the emotional impact this could have on him. He was so embarrassed and upset. The fact he didn’t initially feel like he could be honest has upset me. And of course that he did this full stop. I get teenage boys have raging hormones but it’s such a stupid and out of character thing for him to do.

Please no lectures about social media. All of his friends have it, it’s part of life and I really thought I’d done a good job educating him about the dangers. If anyone else has been through this please let me know your experience and what happened next.

I haven’t managed to read all of the posts yet so apologies if I’m repeating what others have said.

Firstly, I am so very glad your son opened up to you. There have been many reports of young men dying by suicide because of this scam. Please don’t shame him further by being angry or punishing him, he already knows what he’s done and is suffering the consequences of that.

The photos won’t be leaked.

I hope the police are helpful and can reassure your son so that you can all start to move on from this.

The fact that he told you the truth is testament to what good parents you must be.

What a nasty pointless comment.

Aw OP this is horrible. As others have said, the chances of them being leaked are slim - really these people are just generally hoping to frighten vulnerable people into sending them money and don’t have much interest in the work involved in acting on their threat should the money not come their way and are hesitant to make themselves more traceable by distributing the images themselves.

IF (and it’s a big if) the worst happens, please tell your son this is not the end of the world. It’s really really not. People do far worse things than share an embarrassing picture of themselves everyday. If it happens and he shares the fact that he has been extorted, the vast majority would take very dim view of the perpetrator rather than your son. People also move on so quickly, he’ll feel embarrassed initially but it won’t be long before people move onto the next hot topic. I would also notify his school, so that they can hopefully be ready to take action also if needed.

I hope you can get some help from the police. No lectures from me on anything, as the amount of distress your son has faced means the hard lesson has already been learnt. Wishing the best for you both

My son had this happen at round about that age but THANK GOD he came and told me before sending anything as he realised he was being catfished. He was so upset. They know about the dangers but these scammers can be convincing. Look at all these elderly people conned out of their life savings. I'm so sorry for your son and you all. At least you had notifications from his bank set up. I'm going to show my son this as a reminder though he is older and wiser now. The only person to blame is this sick scammer. Your son is only 14, I think it will be ok. And as for him not telling you...not sure mine would've if he'd actually followed through even though we are close. Please don't beat yourself up just be there for him, and supportive, which I'm sure you are being xxx

I'm so sorry OP, it must be horrific for him but I am so glad you know about it and he's not carrying it on his own. Hopefully the police will be able do something concrete on terms of tracing those people.

If they do share the photos unfortunately your son will need to brave it out and I agree that taking the position of being open about being scammed is probably one of the best responses. But it will pass and he clearly has some good support.

I don't think your son will be in trouble at all - I assume he thought the 'girl' was the same age as him or older? That's the only issue I could really potentially foresee. The police are well aware of how fake accounts groom kids for these scams. The account however, if they share the photos of your son, will be in additional trouble for sharing photos of a child. You're right to take advice from the police.

You're also right that there's no need for lectures, you've all learned a big lesson and all of us here can also take it as a lesson against complacency. I have also had conversations with my daughter and her school does so regularly as well but when it's just them and their phone, things are different.

It's not pointless. I'm wondering why it happened anyway and what we can learn from that

@worriedmum223 "... but it’s such a stupid and out of character thing for him to do."

I don't want to lecture you about your own son - I really don't. But boys at that age are incredibly vulnerable to this type of thing. Please, please, please reassure him he didn't do anything wrong. I realise you think he did but, honestly, all the blame rests on the scammers. They are scum, and I don't care how poor they are. Please give your son unconditional support - no blame whatsoever. When the dust settles - as it will, in a few months or a couple of years - have a conversation with him about this.

This would be my biggest concern.

Its one of the worst things a teen can go through (they’re so self conscious and really care what people think of them) and I can absolutely see why they’d turn to suicide.

Thankfully he told the OP and so hopefully he won’t do anything like this.

These young people are the victims but so often they end up blaming themselves and seeing no way out.

We went through this a few years ago and used CEOP. I took the phone away from my son and spent a few hours looking back over the correspondence and into the identity of the person that had conducted this. They had stupidly badly disguised their identification and I found him working for a firm out in silicon Valley America. I was able to screenshot everything and send it on to CEOP.

CEOP were amazing I spoke to my son and I and we’re brilliantly reassuring and they told us which agencies we needed to contact which we did and they confirmed that the information we have passed them was going onto onto Interpol and although we wouldn’t hear anything further from the investigation they had enough, they had enough evidence now to make a move.

I think we need to have a campaign here on @mumnet To highlight the benefits of using CEOP And also how to react in those first few hours when this happens.
I would also talk to our young people on a regular basis about this because this is gonna be their lives on going it’s not just now it’s forever there’s going to be scams.

just to say nothing happened and no money was transferred

Give him this to read

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/feb/19/myanmar-scam-call-centre-compound-rescues-thailand-crackdown

He is not the victim of grooming.
He is not a foolish boy.
He is the victim of a vast criminal gang.
The "girl" that he was talking to is not a scamming girl, it's a trafficked man who is forced to do this under threat of violence to him and his family.

Get him to share this information with his friends.
Get them to understand that the chance of it being a real girl ever is about 0.001%

It's horrific that both scammed and scammer are victims in this.

But rest assured that they don't know him as a person. Just a number, one of tens of thousands they're talking to every day.

He can walk away from it. He can let his friends know they can walk away from similar things. Hopefully none of them will take drastic action if they end up in a similar place.

Good can come from this.

Hugs to you both

Fuck off.

The OPs child has been the victim of a sophisticated scam by adults who are experienced in targeting vulnerable individuals.

He, the child, is a victim and your comment is not helpful.

This is unfortunately an incredibly common scam. The scammer will be contacting hundreds of other teens and will have already moved on now that your son has blocked them. They had no intention of ever posting the photos, it is purely a ruse to blackmail your DS. It’s an awful situation and no doubt incredibly distressing for your DS, as others have said there have been lots of suicides as a result so the fact he has told you and has your support is very important and gives an opportunity for him to overcome his distress. I would also seek counselling for him so he has a neutral space to discuss what’s happened as it may not be something he wants to fully explain to his parents.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think they’d go to the depths of seeking him via email or his phone number. They will have forgotten about your son already. However, if it gives you peace of mind then there is no harm in changing them.

Your DS has made a mistake but he’s been very brave by telling you about it and hopefully has learnt a very valuable lesson.

I agree, please please OP don’t be too harsh on your son right now.

I’ve heard far too many stories of young men killing themselves over stuff like this, as they think their lives are over and can’t live with the shame.

You need to reassure him that he will get over this, and life goes on.

Please tell your son he is one of thousands and is not alone. These scammers target people day in, day out.

It’s such an awful scam because it relies on instilling extreme shame and anxiety in victims, which has led to young people taking their own lives.

The police guidance on this is very clear, your son is and should be treated as a victim.

www.ceopeducation.co.uk/parents/articles/online-blackmail

I agree. Apparently it’s now quite easy to fake nude pictures of real people anyway, so these scams must be losing credibility.

Please ignore all stupid moralising comments, OP. I’m old, but I can still remember how naive and trusting I was in my teens! Also, the sheer horror of being humiliated or embarrassed at that age. I hope DS soon gets over this.

OP doesn’t identify this as a mistake

Oh poor kid, this is my absolute nightmare with teenage sons having read the stories about suicides!

You sound like you're doing all the right things, I would definitely delete tiktok and any social media.

I would also just keep reassuring him that they likely will never release the photos, but even if they do - it doesn't matter. It will be an awful cringey experience but it will blow over and everyone has awful cringey experiences at 14. He won't be the first or last kid to have this happen.
If it was my own son, I would tell him the most important thing is he is safe, and we would do anything we needed to to keep him safe whether that is moving school, a fresh start somewhere else, whatever.

This is part of the reason why Australia has banned social media for people aged under 16.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/britain-social-media-ban-teenagers-australia-jonathan-hall-b2893927.html

It's a lesson learned. If whoever it was did share those pics then they'd making CSA images which is a much more serious matter for them. So I'd say it's just a threat.

But hammer home if you send strangers, or even friends nudes then you're sending it to the whole Internet.

It's ok if he's embarrassed and mortified because it means he's unlikely to do it again. I know it's upsetting for you as his mum. Just be supportive.

Because he was allowed to use social media. If he hadn’t been on tictok would he have been available to criminals?

boys this age are incredibly vulnerable as PP has said and they need to be protected by us their parents.

i feel huge sympathy for OP. We have had horrid experiences with our son searching for and accessing very disturbing content on utube - he was curious no shame there, his search was relatively harmless but utube showed him progressively more disturbing content to pull him down a rabbit hole based on algorithms…we thought we’d educated him and had the right safe guards on the pc but still we didn’t get it right so I’m deeply sympathetic.

but we have the power to keep our kids out of the grasp of these sophisticated criminals.

watch the social dilemma on Netflix it is mind blowing

OP

Work closely with the police and encourage them to stay committed, while always being there for your son. Be a strong, supportive, and positive influence in his life.

For his peace of mind, it might help to completely cut off internet access on all devices and ensure messaging apps are closely monitored by responsible adults. It could also be great to get him involved in activities he enjoys to help distract him from all this chaos.

I hope and wish the best outcomes for you all.

I have drilled into him from a young age the dangers of social media

whilst allowing the brain melting, info stealing app that is TikTok?

@worriedmum223 sorry you and your son are going through this. There have been many cases lately where young teens have taken their own lives due to the panic caused by people sextorting them. It’s horrendous.

It’s so fortunate that you received a notification from the bank and you were able to find out about this. Otherwise your son would be dealing with this on his own and who knows what the outcome could have been.

I have no doubt that your son will have learned his lesson, especially seeing as the police will be involved and will take it seriously. Not only
have they sextorted him but it’s likely someone over the age of 18, who knew he was a minor and was asking for indecent photographs of him. They will hopefully be able to trace the perpetrator through their IP address, phone number linked to tiktok account and bank details.

By your son coming clean / you finding out it’s hopefully saved others from falling victim to the perpetrator of this.

Hope you’re both ok OP.

I hope the U.K. follows Australia and bans under 16s from socials. The world would be a better place.

Amazing helpful comment. The OP is so lucky you chose to post this.