Teen son been a victim of a scam

[worriedmum223]

NC for this. Over the weekend my ds14 has been the victim of a sextortion scam. He was contacted on Tik Tok by someone posing as a girl who coerced him into sending nude photos. As soon as they had them they threatened to leak them to his Tik Tok contacts unless he paid money. My son did not initially tell us, but we had notifications from his bank account of him trying to access money which prompted a discussion and despite initially lying about the reason, he did eventually come clean.

I am absolutely heartbroken and shocked. He was beside himself and in tears. I’ve never seen him so shaken. I have drilled into him from a young age the dangers of social media and how you never speak to strangers and certainly never share personal information or photos. I have contacted the police and am meeting with them later today but trying to keep my son out of it for now because he is so mortified and upset.

I am worried on a number of counts.

Firstly if they do actually leak the photos which would be horrific for him. Although I’m led to believe this is rare and they are more likely to just move onto the next victim when they realise it’s a dead end.

Secondly if they try to contact him again now that they have his number and email address (all contact via Tik Tok and WhatsApp has been blocked but they could find other ways). His phone has been removed at the moment but he will need it back at some point and I can’t monitor it all the time ( when he’s at school etc).

Thirdly whether he could be in trouble himself for sending and asking for explicit photos at his age.

But mostly the emotional impact this could have on him. He was so embarrassed and upset. The fact he didn’t initially feel like he could be honest has upset me. And of course that he did this full stop. I get teenage boys have raging hormones but it’s such a stupid and out of character thing for him to do.

Please no lectures about social media. All of his friends have it, it’s part of life and I really thought I’d done a good job educating him about the dangers. If anyone else has been through this please let me know your experience and what happened next.

Just wanted to send love and thoughts to you and your son OP. You're being a loving and supportive mum he will forever feel safe in your care. Smashing the mumming in my opinion in difficult circumstances. Take good care of yourself too x

When the dust settles and you feel like you can watch it - I recommend this documentary https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002kl4v

It focuses on a boy from the US but the reporter is from UK and they explore getting justice / reporting to police and why it doesn’t go anywhere.

Still report it though! One day they might get to the bottom of it.

Please don’t let the nastiness get to you Op, the fact is that you did discover this, your ds confided in you and you’re helping him to sort it now. So you’re a good, supportive mum.
as others have said, teens are impulsive, gullible and full of hormones…they will made poor decisions some times and it’s hard. Anybody criticising and patting themselves on the back has either been extremely lucky or just hasn’t encountered issues yet!!

Oh dear. He is a minor and won't get in trouble for this however is an offence what he did. You need to let the police talk sense into him as this kind of offence if he was an adult could land him onto sex offender register. Tell him he committed a grow up offence and what the grown up consequences are. Is harsh but is true. Onviously continue to suppprt him and reassure him you sound like a great mum. I don't think his photos will be leaked. Make sure the police adds him in investigation as involved party not suspect or it will stay on his record. Best of luck!

Sending a nude to an adult is not an offence… the adult extorting the nude is an offence. It could have been an offence if he sent it to an underage girl. This comment is very unhelpful in this situation.

Yes it is. educate yourself
In the UK the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 16. However, it is an offence to make, distribute, possess or show any indecent images of anyone aged under 18, even if the content was created with the consent of that young person. The law is contained in Section 1 Protection of Children Act 1978. ‘
Another one:
www.olliers.com/news/can-my-child-be-prosecuted-for-sending-indecent-images-of-themselves/

Scam interceptors on bbciplayer is worth watching as you will learn about how these systems operate and how your son is sadly, one of many many thousands, everyday. Hopefully that will remove some of the shame for him and help you to see how they operate.

They are often young lads themselves working 24/7 on scamming young lads- using a script & AI help- they work in teams/ organised groups and they don’t consider it criminal- a lot of them are from areas of desperate poverty and see it as a way to make money to get them out of their lifestyle traps. That’s the bigger picture- your son is shocked and embarrassed but it’s a very well thought out formula that he’s fallen for. He’ll not make the same mistake again.

This happened to my autistic 26 year old son 4 months ago , he paid them £500 , he told us , it was awful , but , Monzo gave him the money back incredibly.
He begged the man not to do it and asked him why he would put people through it ? and was told for money …
I was so angry as DC is very vulnerable at the moment

I told him that fake AI could be blamed if any are published, and no one really cares .

Many will be sympathetic , but ultimately it was fine , he removed Facebook , blocked the number , and we heard no more even after getting a refund

it was a huge shock though

Tbis 'poor boy' thought he was sending pictures of his genitalia to a young girl. What if it had been your daughter??

I guess I'd be a bit disappointed that she asked a stranger online to send photos and I'd have a chat with her about that.

Not that I want to resurrect this thread but he actually thought he was sending it to a girl 3 years older than him who has repeatedly asked. It wasn’t unsolicited, he was coerced into sending it by a very experienced scammer so please don’t try and make out that he’s in the wrong here. Obviously he was wrong to do it full stop, but that’s because he made a very silly mistake not because he’s some sort of predator.

These people know what they are doing. Like I said, it's a script, they love bomb and gain trust. It's awful

If it's a script then someone should copy and paste it and say this (and similar) is the wording scammers use. That's what we do for all other scams.... expose them to as many people as possible. The more familiar people are with the tactics, the less effective they'll be.

Edit - what I mean is, presenting the information as "mum says don't send nude photos to anyone" doesn't always work, whereas "10 GOAT must-knows to DESTROY scammers that all l33t haxxors should know" (or the 2025 equivalent) might get further reach...

It's also a criminal offence, so you might want to have words on that topic, too.

I would of course, but I don't think she'd be in trouble for receiving images so long as she deleted them and didn't share them.

Asking someone to send photos of a minor is an offence too.

What actually is the point of sending your genitalia to someone.

How do they even know its yours anyway.

@worriedmum223 How are you all doing? Is he ok? I’m guessing he’ll feel calmer about it the more time that passes with nothing happening but I imagine you’re still full of what could have happened.

Bloody kids; if they’re not costing you a fortune, they’re frightening you silly! 💐

I just watched episode 8 of this which was about a man posing as a girl to get pictures of young boys. It was very sympathetic to the victims (as it should be.) Jay Lang was jailed for 21 years.
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/social-media-monsters?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19633109208&gbraid=0AAAAACqZr-DjrCbW-9GstK_yRPjNC_sWZ&gclid=Cj0KCQiAg63LBhDtARIsAJygHZ4_YqeLeGn2Ejlx7hCx1ITb_UpTlCyHLP8C6soyE6_eQigNoFmEG4caAvLsEALw_wcB

https://smartphonefreechildhood.eaction.org.uk/raise-the-age

this takes just 15 seconds to do and is so important right now.

Hopefully these scammers will be twarted by AI. As in, victims can just say - go on distribute it, I’ll just laugh and say it’s AI and not me. The scammers are counting on fear.