To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

How bloody rude. Your guests are cheeky fuckers

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that if a group of people are sharing all the same dishes then I think it's very odd to keep one dish back for yourself even if it was yours by purchase the day before.

I can't see that is any different from serving up a completely new buffet you bought with something nice on it and saying "that dish is mine, nobody else can have any".

If I wanted it all for myself I wouldn't eat it at a group buffet.

I'd have said 'well, you'd have had leftovers too if you hadn't eaten all yours last night!'. End of conversation

Sharing half a portion of curry would mean about 2 tablespoons each.

OP you did nothing wrong and they've been eating your food all week, cheeky sod.

These are not friends, they are taking advantage snd have NO MANNERS.
I would ditch them

I would want to ram the curry down his throat to be honest. I cannot believe they have not offered to pay for the meal - total CF territory and I would not have them to stay again anytime soon.

Not even that.

I suppose the OP could have pointedly served a teaspoon of curry onto everyone's plates if they were so insistent of sharing her leftovers.

The OP is clear. Everyone chose a main and everyone except the OP ate all their's. If they wanted leftovers they too should have saved some.

Wtf is it with mens uni friends.

I could have written this OP... yanbu.

Dont invite/host the rude fucker again.

Entitled man behaviour.
What a prick.

They are DH university friends and you have done 90% of the cooking and cleaning.

He should have done it all himself and been a hindrance in the kitchen on his own.

Look at the excuses made for men not cooking for his own friends. Pathetic.

They have CF written all over them...

Definitely set new ground rules for the next visit or they'll be taking advantage again.

If it was just me and my DH then the left over curry would be mine (if he’d eaten his the day before), but in the circumstances you describe where you’re combining lots of leftovers to make a meal for everyone then I think it’s a bit odd to then ring fence the curry for yourself. However I also think it’s massively rude of your guest to say what he did.
The main AIBU here is having guests to stay for 5 days. FIVE days. I could never! The max I’ve done with my own parents staying is 3 days. You deserve a medal (and your very own specially made curry) for that alone.

It’s your curry! Not cool, him trying to nick it, when he’s been fed.

So it’s ok to share the food (not necessarily the curry), but not the cost? I think you’ve given a lot and the only bit they want to share is in their favour.

The obvious come back is ‘well everything you’ve eaten in the last five days has been provided by me, so clearly l do share’. Greedy bastard !! And OP, you mentioned that you’ve been invited to stay with them in a few months, and hoping/expecting them to provide as you have. On this showing, l wouldn’t bank on it.

The quantity isn't the point.

YANBU. The guy was out of order and greedy. Why are you entertaining these people for so long? Surely 3 days is enough for any guests? Isn’t it an unwritten rule that guests should take their hosts out for a good dinner while they are staying. Most decent people would also take lots of drinks etc to their guests when they came. Certainly that is what we and our friends do. We would have paid for the takeaway as well as taking you out. Your husband needs to step up more when his guests are here. Do your friends perceive you as rich as they seem to be freeloading?

I'd feel awkward eating it in front of everyone as leftovers are usually shared in our house, even if that means a spoon of whatever each. Not saying what you did was wrong, but I probably would have just shared it out of misinterpretation...he assumed all leftovers were being eaten.

Also, why have you martyred yourself for days? I'd be asking if they could scrape plates, empty dishwasher, whatever. Same as when I visit people, I do my bit!

Do these friends have any redeeming features?

I think I might have lost the plot at this stage. That friend is a rude tight arse and that would be the last time I would have him staying in my house…

I don’t think I’d have served myself something that was out of bounds for everyone else. Not contributing for the rest of the stay is another matter.

@Lolabear38 I'll have a small bet with you that if you stay with them very little will be provided, there'll be mostly meals out and takeaways and you'll be expected to pay 🙄.

"Well Dave if you wanted leftover curry tonight you shouldn't have eaten all of yours last night you greedy bastard"

CF.

That’s bad ! I can’t imagine not sharing all round equally!

im going to get slated by this. But yes I think it was very rude the way you handled the curry. Not saying it wasn’t yours, not saying you shouldn’t have been able to enjoy it. I just think you handled it wrong.

it would have been better if you said there was lots of leftovers for dinner to share, but as you didn’t eat your curry yesterday you would be eating that. Make it clear at the beginning.

he obviously assumed as it was mixed leftovers the curry was part of the offerings

Odd to keep half (or less) of a curry? Odd to keep something that was her meal in thee first place?

You are the odd one to even think she should be sharing it out. Sounds like they had plenty of other food