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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it was my curry?!

567 replies

Lolabear38 · 04/01/2026 06:12

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

OP posts:
Cherrytree86 · 09/01/2026 12:22

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 11:39

Thankyou for your reply. We have a different way of eating in our house that is more southern European in style than what is more the norm in the UK
No one in my family is gluttonous, it's just a slightly different way of serving food.
Me, DH and DD went out for lunch last week, and as usual we ordered a selection of food to share. Hate our way all you want, I dont give 2 hoots.

@Twinkletoes127

what you’re showing in the photo doesn’t look remotely unusual! I will often do that when eating out with others, like tapas style so you get a little bit of everything.

what is more unusual is your assertion that empty plates means people need more food and that OP should have given her curry to someone who had plenty of food available to him but just wanted what she had.

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 12:44

You can interpret it anyway you please.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2026 13:22

Even if empty plates do mean people are hungry and need to be offered more (which I don’t think is correct), the man in the OP had not finished his plate of food - according to the OP, he had a full plate of food - so even under @Twinkletoes127’s rules, he didn’t need to be offered more food.

ConnieHeart · 09/01/2026 14:16

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2026 13:22

Even if empty plates do mean people are hungry and need to be offered more (which I don’t think is correct), the man in the OP had not finished his plate of food - according to the OP, he had a full plate of food - so even under @Twinkletoes127’s rules, he didn’t need to be offered more food.

I think this refers to the evening before where everyone had eaten all of their curries apart from the OP

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 15:26

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2026 13:22

Even if empty plates do mean people are hungry and need to be offered more (which I don’t think is correct), the man in the OP had not finished his plate of food - according to the OP, he had a full plate of food - so even under @Twinkletoes127’s rules, he didn’t need to be offered more food.

Not quite. I don't have food rules for 1, secondly all food is served to the middle of the table, so no individual person is offered more of anything, if the food is running low, more is added. Its quite simple really.

MarriedWithCauldron · 09/01/2026 16:20

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 15:26

Not quite. I don't have food rules for 1, secondly all food is served to the middle of the table, so no individual person is offered more of anything, if the food is running low, more is added. Its quite simple really.

So can you see that it’s also quite simple that some people finish their meals and others have leftovers?

PullTheBricksDown · 09/01/2026 16:24

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 15:26

Not quite. I don't have food rules for 1, secondly all food is served to the middle of the table, so no individual person is offered more of anything, if the food is running low, more is added. Its quite simple really.

'All food is served to the middle of the table' is a rule!

wordler · 09/01/2026 17:01

For the people who think OP should have shared consider it as though everyone had ordered themselves a sandwich the evening before. OP eats half her M&S prawn sandwich and feels full. Everyone else eats their whole sandwich.

OP says she’s going to finish her sandwich tomorrow. If guest had said - ooh I quite fancy a bit of that sandwich (in addition to his full plate of other food) should she have given him some of it? How about everyone else at the table?

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/01/2026 17:12

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 15:26

Not quite. I don't have food rules for 1, secondly all food is served to the middle of the table, so no individual person is offered more of anything, if the food is running low, more is added. Its quite simple really.

You'd be quite happy then if I visited your house, everyone ordered a curry and I kept one curry to myself because that's the one I ordered? Since you have no food rules.

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 17:29

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/01/2026 17:12

You'd be quite happy then if I visited your house, everyone ordered a curry and I kept one curry to myself because that's the one I ordered? Since you have no food rules.

Yes absolutely, you would be a guest. You could do whatever you wanted.

We would all order a meal for the table, it would be pointed out you were ordering your own, no issue. We would share ours, you would eat yours.
Would you be afraid of someone snaffling the best looking bit of broccoli? Or afraid you would go without?
Why would you be so protective of food?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2026 18:08

He had a full plate of food - I cannot comprehend how anyone thinks the OP should have given him some of her food too!

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/01/2026 18:18

Twinkletoes127 · 09/01/2026 17:29

Yes absolutely, you would be a guest. You could do whatever you wanted.

We would all order a meal for the table, it would be pointed out you were ordering your own, no issue. We would share ours, you would eat yours.
Would you be afraid of someone snaffling the best looking bit of broccoli? Or afraid you would go without?
Why would you be so protective of food?

Is it protective to simply eat your own food that you've ordered?

Bjorkdidit · 09/01/2026 18:27

If we're getting takeaway and everyone has a portion as described by the OP, I know that I will only eat half of it and I know I'll want it again the next day and there's no way on earth I'm giving that up for the people who ate twice as much as me the day before so don't have any leftovers.

BrendaSmall · 11/01/2026 16:11

MarriedWithCauldron · 08/01/2026 13:50

That’s weird.

Maybe for you!!

BrendaSmall · 11/01/2026 16:13

TinyTear · 08/01/2026 14:18

On previous messages Brenda seems to be a 60+ year old with no children at home, who cooks cottage pies and roasts and very hearty meals - fuck knows how she makes all that in tiny 2 person portions... must be halving the recipes...

what a waste

Why???
not a waste
bit judgmental on the age!!!

BrendaSmall · 11/01/2026 16:13

Cherrytree86 · 08/01/2026 20:34

@BrendaSmall

Why so vexed? Whether Brenda wants to eat reheated food makes no difference to your life whatsoever.

Oh, and an older single woman with no children can eat what the fuck they want

Thank you!
🤣🤣
im not single x

Greenmouldycheese · 11/01/2026 22:27

He's a cheeky greedy pig. It is your curry. I'd want them out of my house. I couldn't stick having cheeky fuckers in my home.

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