To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

@Happilyobtuse

yeah, he wasn’t hungry, he was greedy. Ick.

Why should OP 's half of the curry she ordered be fair game for communal leftovers just because she didn't want to end up overstuffed by eating it all in one go. Why does her way of eating (not greedy) mean she has to sacrifice her leftover meal to someone who is greedy. Unbelievably bad manners to accuse your host of not sharing when they've fed you generously for 5 days, bought a takeaway too, washed up after you and all you've done in return is pay for a pub lunch? Yuk.

Late reply, but I wanted to share my DH’s very emphatic view, just in case there was a men/women divide.
After a bit of don’t-mess-with-me claim-staking on my part over a heel of panettone, I remembered this thread and gave DH a précis. His IMMEDIATE reply was “Bloody cheek!” and that OP is entitled to eat her leftover curry at any time, anywhere, in any company, without subterfuge or skulking. Also that Mr Manchild deserved a right verbal slapdown for bad-mannered entitlement.

I was impressed. (But he still didn’t get the panettone.)

Your guest was a greedy pig!!

Who was staying with you? Was it your in-laws? Never ever have them visit again.

My thoughts exactly.

To be honest if someone said they were serving up leftovers from the last few days, and started reheating a curry that was leftover from the day before, I would assume that was part of said leftovers. I would find it a bit odd if the host ate the leftover curry and didn't share even if it had been theirs the day before.

Having said that I would have paid for the takeaway, and wouldn't have pushed you on it if you said you wanted it just for you

I think it's fine to share tasks, but it is quite a hard concept to grasp that an adult of 40+ years has never learnt basic cooking skills. In all their 45 years he's never managed to make say a basic pasta and sauce combo without over or under cooking. He obviously can't follow a recipe if he's not succeeded in the above

Why was it only OP's the day before and suddenly a free for all the day after?

Because it was leftover and they were having leftovers.

It was left over from her share of the curry though. Everyone else had their curries to themselves.

Jesus Christ, some people here sound like my grandmother (who would have been over 100 this year) -

if you eat all the food and clean the plates - OH NO you must be hungry, poor you i didn't cook enough, need to make more next time

if you don't finish the giant portion in front of you - OH NO you hated it, was it not good? what can i change for next time, sorry

@Lolabear38 you were more than generous and it was your curry. especially as you say he wanted while with a full plate of food already

Agreed- small house with one other bedroom is a good idea

You can’t really blame him for not knowing what leftovers were for sharing and what weren’t. Leftovers are leftovers.

I agree. That is why I live in a 2 bedroom flat

I feel they all took advantage of your good nature

It was HALF a curry and the rest of the leftovers were not from the indian meal so no reason whatsoever to think the small portion of curry was to share.

He smelt it being warmed up. Likely had no idea what was left from the previous evening. Wrongly assumed there was enough to share. Made a poor joke (which may have been found slightly amusing had they all not outstayed their welcome). I think they were all a bit tight and a bit lazy but I can’t see an issue with him not immediately realising the curry he could smell was out of bounds.

It's still a part of general leftovers? HALF a curry or not.

It's not particularly usual to serve one pot of "leftovers" for guests and another pot of "leftovers" for the host and then moan that the guests didn't know which items of "leftovers" were for them

Because she said she was serving leftovers. It's really not unreasonable for her guests to assume that the additional leftovers she's heating up are being added to the general table of leftovers

You can't expect guests to guess that those specific leftovers aren't for them, when you've told them that they're eating leftovers!

It was half a curry. OP's half from the previous day. The guest already had a full plate of food and didn't even ask politely.

Common sense says that half a curry isn't going to go around everyone and he would've known everyone had a takeaway curry to themselves the previous day because he certainly didn't share any of his.

I agree, @SouthLondonMum22 -and I’d add that, when one person has a full plate of food and expects a share of food from someone else’s plate, they are the greedy and rude one.

Unfortunately once it came to the table it was fair game. You should have troughed it in the kitchen!

It didn't go to the table.

It did once the OP warmed it and sat down with everyone else. BTW I think the guest was rude and greedy but it’s not good manners to bring food to a shared table and keep it to yourself, without at least offering it round.

The problem is so many posters just don't have any common sense or else just want to argue.

Offering to share a small portion of curry which was HER curry!! You surely cannot seriously mean that.