To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

She didn't put it on the table for others to help themselves to.

it’s not good manners to bring food to a shared table and keep it to yourself, without at least offering it round.

It was half a curry!

I suppose if we're being polite for performative reasons, the OP should offer to share and everyone should say no.

But I wouldn't risk that in case greedy guts thought I was really offering them some of my curry after they'd already had theirs.

It isn't good manners to simply eat your own food as they did with their curries the previous day? That's all OP did.

Comments that the OP was “rude” are very odd. It is serving casual food for a bunch of mates not a dinner party thrown by the King for the President of the USA. Who bloody cares about “etiquette” in these circumstances.

I know, it doesn’t seem right. Unfortunately people with bad manners like the guest usually come off best. But as a pp said, the thing to do would be to offer, and for everyone to decline.

My sympathies are with the OP, but I wouldn’t have been able to just sit down and eat it without offering.

He’s a rude greedy git

This is just so British!! Surely OP should be able to sit at her own table, in her home, with half a curry she had paid for & be able to eat it without mr piggy ‘my plate is full, plus I have had a pub lunch but still want what you have.’ He was out of order for asking to share.

Guest was rude, greedy, ill mannered & quite frankly disrespectful to OP who has cooked for him & his pals for five days.

Why? They didn't offer any of their curry and the person making a fuss already had a plate full of food. It makes absolutely no sense.

It was also only half a curry.

Why would offer your half eaten takeaway to anyone else?

then he’s a greedy ungrateful shit.

the OP said the curry was hers but he decided to shame her in the way only an entitled male can. Expecting her to give him the curry.

It comes in a foil tray with a cardboard lid from which she'd have used a clean utensil to put what she wanted on her plate and then put the covered container back in the fridge. I doubt she ate directly out of the container so the food was as uncontaminated by saliva, fingers, used cutlery etc as when it was first opened. Even if she had eaten directly from the container I don't think the greedy friend would have let that stop him.

Yes I know.

I was being flippant.

If I eat half of my takeaway-it's because I want the rest the next day.

I think what's more unusual is having a takeaway curry where people all eat their own specific curry rather than putting it all in the middle and trying a bit of everything.

The guest lost any moral high ground when he let his hosts pay for their share of the takeaway, after having been fed, watered and given a bed for 5 days. Any decent guests would have paid for the whole takeaway to treat the host as a thank you.

I refer you to Smithy, @wordler. 😉😂

Lol

Why are so many people on this thread unable to separate the behaviour of the guest (rude, greedy) from the behaviour of the host (ill mannered).

The fact the guest behaved badly doesn't take away from the bad manners of reserving one dish on a group buffet to yourself.

Except she didn't!! It was HER personal curry from the night before, the same as everyone else had their own. She didn't eat all hers in one go.

I fear for the future of this country when people are so thick they can not understand a simple post.

You misread or misunderstood my very simple my post and accuse me of being thick and not understanding a simple post 🤣😂🤣

If you are still struggling to understand, see my post close to the top of page 3.

Apparently some leftovers are sharing leftovers and some are personal leftovers 🤷‍♀️

And that is exactly it!!

It was not even a polite ask. It was an entitled I will help myself to that and then had the cheek to say ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’ when the entitled pig has been eating OP’s food (including the curry the night before he did not pay for) over the past week and had a full plate in front of him.

had it been me I would have been politely enquiring when they were planning on leaving.

Exactly why did the host behave badly?

The second post of mine you haven't read correctly, while calling me thick.

I repeat, read the post I directed you to.

You’ll have to ask the op that.

I read that particular post that I quoted and responded to that. I'm not interested in looking for another post. I do however apologise for saying people were thick.