To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

Thank you for the apology. If you won't read my post very close to the top of page 3 then I guess you'll never understand why I and many other people believe that the behaviour of the host was bad manners.

I don't need to understand. She wasn't rude. She's paid for food for these people for five days. They all ate their full curry. She didn't and decided to just have it the next day while providing another full meal.

Page 3 has no meaning here, everyone has different page numbers.

I and many others believe you are wrong. This wasn't a dish cooked by the host or a takeaway bought by the guests. As each person paid for their own takeaway, the rules of hosting do not apply. The guests ate their takeaway, they can't expect to eat OP's too, which she paid for herself. She is entitled to enjoy her paid for takeaway at a time of her choosing.

You do need to understand why this was bad manners and why it was rude unless you're happy to be equally as rude to guests in your home in future. But I guess you are.

Hang on. That's not on. The OP wasn't rude for eating her own individual meal over two nights. This was not a case of she made a load of plates of food and kept the lovely chunky chips or beautiful prawn dish for herself. It was literally HER meal leftover.

I think somewhere between the collective takeaway order and the OP settling down to her leftovers, these guests have more than outstayed their welcome.

So they should either of fucked off home, or no longer require guest level hospitality, either way it's perfectly fine for the OP to enjoy the last of her curry without having to cater for a crowd at the same time.

Read my earlier post! I'm not typing it out again for you.

Why does it matter though? There’s plenty of things I probably should be able to do, but I can’t or don’t. I would have a (very) vague idea of how to change a tyre on my car, but unless I had to, I wouldn’t even try. It’s the same for him and cooking. If he had to, if I wasn’t there or he had no choice, we would do it and probably be able to make something edible. When it’s the two of us (or our family), I cook because I want to and I know I will make something that tastes nice. Why are some people so perplexed by this? And what’s it got to do with whether the curry was mine or not?

Bringing it forward for you Imdunfer.
And for the record, I agree 100%
Share all, or none, not bits here and there at hosts choosing

Say it as many times as you want but no. It's irrelevant.

It was ALL shared except HALF a curry. Her curry that she had paid for. They all had curry and they could all, if they had wanted to, left some for the next day but they didn't.

I really think some of you are being petty and aruing just for the sake of it.

It’s not rude so much as inhospitable and a little weird to serve yourself something different (and in this case it’s sounds like more appetising) than what you serve your guests. The guest did not necessarily know the origin story of the curry, he saw curry at a buffet dinner and asked for some. He was in my view rude when he was told ‘no’, but also I can see why he thought it was fair game. Ultimately, a minor face pas on OP’s behalf, more than outbalanced by what sounds excellent hosting to that point.

Everyone with a hair across their arse about her cooking is deranged. It’s very normal in couples for one person to take on the load in one area where they prefer the work/are better at it, and someone else to take the reins in another area.

If it was ALL, the curry would have been shared. So it wasn't ALL. Thats the distinction

This bonkers. The OP was 100% right to eat the rest of HER curry.

You might THINK so, some of us DON’T.

This is why I have precisely 0 friends. Who could be arsed listening to a greedy, ungrateful shit begging for the leftover curry you paid for? It’s your house, if you want to eat anything that you paid for he should be minding his own business. I just wouldn’t even want to speak to him every again tbh. The fact that he tried to belittle you after you had said no would be a deal breaker for me friendship wise. Curious as to what your DH / DP thought of him attempting to humiliate you?

Oh stop being so stupid. I don't think you even mean what you are saying but you just want to argue. Only and idiot would not understand that the curry was HERS and ALL THE FOOD OTHER THAN HER CURRY WAS SHARED.

God another 480+ plus posts before this thread thankfully dies.

So, you realise you were wrong for not understanding that All, means All, not a mostly everything except that bit, and instead of accepting that, you sling derogatory names at people.
You could be seen as stupid for that really

I agree with this, and I started the post! I think at this point, @Twinkletoes127 is just here for an argument so it’s probably best not to engage with them any more.

Yes I would throw it away, I don’t like eating the same thing over again

Why don’t you put it in the freezer to eat another time?

The guest knew full well that everyone had a curry to themselves the previous day because that guest finished all of his. Common sense says that half a curry is from someone who didn't finish theirs the previous day and are simply finishing off their meal which everyone else finished the previous day.

No one shared the previous day so it wasn't going to be different just because it's a day later. If it was all shared originally like some do with takeaway curries then I would understand the expectation to share, though half a curry wouldn't go very far.

For anyone interested, there have been around 4500 votes so far.

90% YANBU
10% YABU

Thanks for all of the constructive, relevant comments - whichever side they fell on. I’ve read them all and on the whole think that I would do the same thing again, maybe next time say on the night we had the takeout something like, ‘I’m going to save my leftovers and eat them tomorrow night’ or along those lines to avoid any confusion. I’ll still host the way I did, the way I always have regardless of if/ how I’m hosted in return and that’s my choice, which I’m ok with.

Thanks all!

If that was me I genuinely might have just got up and stabbed him with my fork. What a knob. That was definitely YOUR curry! Don't feel one bit guilty about eating it.