To think it was my curry?!

[Lolabear38]

Bit of background - we’ve had guests staying with us for the last 5 days. During that time I’ve cooked and paid for 90% of the meals and cleared everything away. There’s been large meals (they’re big eaters), snacks, puddings, alcohol etc. Relevant just to show I’m not (or at least I don’t think I am) being tight I suppose.

Last night we ordered an Indian take away (I couldn’t face cooking for us all again). We all ordered a curry and rice each, and a variety of sides. For no particular reason I didn’t eat all of my main meal, everyone else finished all theirs. We all had roughly the same amount of the sides. I got my curry and put it in the fridge.

Today we went for a pub lunch so when it came to dinner in the evening I said it was leftovers from the last couple of days and put out everything/ cooked up a few bits and pieces that needed eating. Everyone helped themselves and as they were eating I heated up my curry. DH’s friend, with a plate full of food already, suddenly said ‘oh I didn’t realise there was curry on offer! I’ll have that’. Somewhat put out I said ‘this is actually the curry I ordered last night and kept what was left, I thought I’d finish it tonight’. He replied with ‘But we can all share it can’t we? Leftovers are all fair game’. I kind of laughed it off and when the curry was warmed through I quickly put it on my plate and just sat down to eat - I’m talking maybe 1/2 of a regular portion of curry was left? He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said ‘I guess Lola doesn’t share food, hey?’

Who is BU?

YABU - leftover curry belongs to anyone who wants to eat it, whether they ordered it or not, stop being so weird.

YANBU - you ordered that curry. Everyone else ordered their own and ate it all. The leftovers of your curry belong to you.

We split the cost of the take away fairly between us all, if that matters.

I know.

I couldn't imagine asking to eat someone else's curry when I had all of mine the day before and they had also fed me for 5 days!

Which is fine if you like doing that, we don’t!!

I think generally you sound like a lovely host, but on this occasion I think it was a bit weird to have kept one particular dish especially for yourself. I get your explanation, but it should have been eaten at a different time without the guests. If it couldn’t have been frozen or eaten after they’d left I think I’d have binned it this time. But the guest sounded a bit bolshy and rude too. And I would definitely have paid for my host’s takeaway (other than that I don’t think it’s unusual to provide meals and cook for guests).

I couldn't imagine asking to eat someone else's curry when I had all of mine the day before and they had also fed me for 5 days!

Well exactly.

They're all adults.

Not a couple of kids faced with the last sweet!

having left overs doesn't mean everyone gets a bite of everything - the curry was the leftover you chose - I mean jesus he would have been taking the food out of your mouth literally after 5 days of you catering for him! He was both a greedy and cheeky fucker. As to sharing - seems it was all one way - you and dh sharing with them but it didn't much work the other way

Wait until Brenda learns about doggy bags! Mind blown 😂

Can I ask why? I mean would you really throw away food that hasn’t been touched (eg half a Lasagne remained in the baking dish).

That was going to be my next post 😂

Pretty much all restaurants have cartons for you to take any remaining food home if you wish. I actually took some home a few day’s ago as I wasn’t that hungry in the restaurant. I really enjoyed it, heated up, later in the day. It would have been a terrible waste of food and money if I’d just left it. Some leftovers are unsalvageable, but those that aren’t are a very valid later snack or dinner.

Why though should it have been eaten separately from the guests presence? Do you think it would have made the guests sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, miserable, upset, confused, bewildered, puzzled seeing their host finish her remaining bit of curry?

Who would have thunk an adult finishing their curry in front of other adults (who had also finished their curry) could be so triggering.

Ah OP, why couldn’t you have just given it to him? He’s a guest in your home! And also a man - men need more calories than women. If he left any of it, then maybe you could have had that but only after double checking that he absolutely didnt want it. Poor bloke seeing and smelling a nice curry and not being able to have it.

You’re the one going on about it

Yes OP

And why didn’t you lie in the hallway so he could avoid putting his manly feet on the floor. 😵‍💫

Terrible attitude to be so wasteful and seemingly proud of it

@Twinkletoes127

eh?? They’d eaten all their meal. A full portion of curry from a takeaway is massive! Clean plates certainly doesn’t mean still hungry! In your view is someone only full if they’ve left some food on their plate??

I will answer honestly as you phrased it as a question specifically. In my house, there would absolutely, always be food left over and people generally would only take what they wanted, little by little, or portion by portion.
If in tbe event that there were "clean" plates, then I would add more food to the middle to ensure everyone is fed.
Clean plates to me means there wasn't enough food.
I hope no one thinks im arguing, im answering the question

@Twinkletoes127

but that means waste every single meal, you’re making an excess. Must be expensive no?

also when you see someone with a clean plate at the dinner table - do you ask them if they’re still hungry and would like some more or do you just assume and put some more on their plate for them?

No, not at all, it all goes in the fridge, is used for the next few days, lunches, snacks, added to other meals etc.
For example, let's say a few bowls of chicken quarters, served with chips, salad, cold cuts etc, all of that can be used the next day if any is left over. Chicken stew, soup, nothing is wasted.
To the second bit, I would never serve onto someone's plate. It all goes in the middle xx

Clean plates to me means there wasn't enough food

I realise it might be cultural but most people don't think like that (more the opposite, they're getting full and there's a bit left but they think they might as well finish it) and your friends probably view you as an annoying feeder if you keep foisting more food on them when they've had enough.

I understand what you are saying, but you missed the part where everyone can choose what they eat and tje amount. Thats entirely up to that person. If someone gets annoyed because I make an 8 portion Lasagna and put it in the middle to eat, or dont, then thats a bit weird.

@Twinkletoes127

but there WILL be waste though if you view a clean plate as a sign they need more food. You’ll keep going putting more food out until inevitably they have more some food left on their plate that they are too stuffed to finished. And you keep that for leftover, it would be unhygienic as it’s been sat on someone’s used dinner plate.

No, this doesn't happen. People only take what they want. If they make a miscalculation and leave some, thats ok. There will always be scraps in any meal, and if people always eat everything in front of them, instead of stopping when full, they would just get fat. Thats not the case in my house. All normal height, weight and BMI

There’s nowt so queer as folk, as the old saying goes.

Next time I think about eating my leftovers I’ll check with family, friends and neighbours in a two mile radius first before indulging in my selfish wants.

People on here are weird about happy relationships OP.

Yes, but I would guess that most people posting on this thread are not Asian.
I used to have a good friend who was Asian and she was constantly complaining about her guests, from abroad, sponging from her and said she just had to put up with it because it was her culture. She had one particular set of relatives stay and they were using all her saffron as they were over for a ceremony. She had to keep replacing it.

I can’t imagine eating my leftover curry while someone else looked on hungrily.

He wasn't looking on hungrily.

He already had a plateful of food.

He just fancied Op's takeaway that she hadn't finished the night before.