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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think infant circumcision is wrong but also that a total ban on it will not work and is not the most effective way to tackle it?

732 replies

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:49

On the recent threads after the tragic death of the baby boy who died from circumcision performed by a non medical professional, there have been a lot of calls for a total ban on here.
Now, I think infant circumcision is very wrong. But in practice I do not think a ban will work.
Most cultural circumcisions are performed by medically trained people. Backstreet ones need to be cracked down on with the full force of the law, but they are not typical.
Second, circumcision is key in Islam. However, while most agree it’s either compulsory or strongly recommended, age requirements are not as stringent in mandating someone has to be a minor. I think there is some hope sensitive campaigning within the community could maybe make more families consider leaving it until their son is at least maybe an older adolescent with more ability to choose.
Judaism – circumcision is central to Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox Haredi ofc, and more liberal Masorti and Reform. It is extremely unlikely that any law or external pressure would stop these practices, because brit milah is a covenantal obligation tied to Jewish identity. Attempting a blanket ban would likely trigger defensiveness, fear, maybe underground circumcisions and probably emigration of at least some to Israel or elsewhere, rather than protect children.
Focusing on sterile procedures, trained practitioners, and medical supervision would be more likely to significantly reduce risk. Jews have experienced persecution for circumcision in the past (e.g., Hellenistic bans and European restrictions), so any attempt to criminalise it today can feel existential. This is only heightened by the terrible upsurge in anti Semitism recently.

I agree with sentiments behind calling for a ban - I just thing measures short of a ban are more likely to work.

OP posts:
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Abhannmor · 04/01/2026 12:53

@sabababa . Billions of men can do wtf they like with their own bodies. Because men are , by definition , over the age of majority. We are discussing helpless baby boys and girls.

GCSEBiostruggles · 04/01/2026 12:59

I'm not pro by any means but deriding two global religions and calling them stupid is hardly going to change any minds.

stilldumdedumming · 04/01/2026 12:59

This is making me feel quite sick. It’s not just Judaism and Islam. My dgs has just been done in the living room this week (not in my house). No anaesthesia. He is tiny. Cost around £200 done by a Jewish man ‘off a database’ - to appease the mother (Congolese and Christian). It’s barbaric.
Having said that my dad was done too in the 1940s - Catholic, English - pretending to be upper class. I always assumed it would be done in a clinic.

GCSEBiostruggles · 04/01/2026 13:00

stilldumdedumming · 04/01/2026 12:59

This is making me feel quite sick. It’s not just Judaism and Islam. My dgs has just been done in the living room this week (not in my house). No anaesthesia. He is tiny. Cost around £200 done by a Jewish man ‘off a database’ - to appease the mother (Congolese and Christian). It’s barbaric.
Having said that my dad was done too in the 1940s - Catholic, English - pretending to be upper class. I always assumed it would be done in a clinic.

It isn't just religions, no. Majority of American men are also 'done'.

stilldumdedumming · 04/01/2026 13:01

Also no medical aftercare eg saline solution. Don’t touch it for 24 hours and then wash it gently I think it was.

stilldumdedumming · 04/01/2026 13:03

That’s what we called it when we were kids- ‘done’ and ’not done’. But anything can be normalised when you’re a child. My brothers were ‘not done’. It should be at least regulated via the CQC- I thought it was until last week.

Mischance · 04/01/2026 13:05

GCSEBiostruggles · 04/01/2026 12:59

I'm not pro by any means but deriding two global religions and calling them stupid is hardly going to change any minds.

No-one is deriding two global religions - they are free to believe whatever they wish.

But in a civilized country mutilating babies must be outlawed. Simple as that.

TheignT · 04/01/2026 13:08

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:26

But they don’t. I have participated and witnessed hundreds of threads in women’s forums arguing about circumcision.

I have not once been in the pub with a group of people doing so (or witnessed it during the time I worked in pubs) my husband says he’s never had a conversation about it.

to some extent, internet forums force you to have opinions on things you don’t really care about that much in reality, just so you can participate. I’m convinced this topic is one.

I. Would imagine lots of men might feel embarrassed to discuss their penis. A man might have issues due to desensitisation but very unlikely to sit down with a bunch of friends and say he wishes he could enjoy sex more. Of course the boys who die from this unnecessary procedure don't get the chance to discuss it.

My husband is circumcised, who knows if sex would be better/different if it hadn't been done, that isn't his issue. His issue is that as a helpless baby his parents deliberately let him be hurt for no good reason. He resents that his body was altered without his consent for no good reason. Never in a million years would either of us let anyone hurt our babies unless it was medically necessary.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

Mischance · 04/01/2026 12:46

No - I know what is better for babies. And that is not to be mutilated.

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

averychoc · 04/01/2026 13:12

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

When they are grown men they can decide then.

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 13:13

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

Why are they happy?

TheignT · 04/01/2026 13:16

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:30

Men are the ones it’s being done to, so why would women have a Greater role in discussing and worrying about it?

Men aren't the ones having infant circumcision, by the time They are men it is history.

Because the mother of the baby boy is a woman. If as some have said that men want it done to their baby sons so they look like dad then I think the mother has a duty to advocate for her baby.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 13:16

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

You still won’t or can’t answer - how does this procedure benefit the baby?

You just keep repeating that circumcised men are happy etc etc………….which is no different from uncircumcised men is it?

TheignT · 04/01/2026 13:19

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

I've just told you not all men are happy with it. Your husband is my husband isn't. It wasn't necessary so why do it?

TheignT · 04/01/2026 13:21

GCSEBiostruggles · 04/01/2026 12:59

I'm not pro by any means but deriding two global religions and calling them stupid is hardly going to change any minds.

It isn't just religion. My husband is Roman Catholic. His circumcision had nothing to do with religion.

FollowSpot · 04/01/2026 13:30

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

You don't know what is best for your baby as a future man. Or that all men are perfectly happy. I had a long term Dp who was less than happy and could not understand why his parents had done it.

Some (possibly many) men do get dry skin and chafing on the glans because there is no foreskin to protect it. Cyclists who are circumcised can buy specialist protective guards. These guards are sold because there is a demand....

There is evidence about the effects of circumcision e.g Male circumcision decreases penile sensitivity as measured in a large cohort - PubMed

Fine: your own position / belief seems to be that circumcision is so important per se for whatever your own reasons / religion that it is actually more important than any potential adverse effects. So just own that. Admit it and say so.

Male circumcision decreases penile sensitivity as measured in a large cohort - PubMed

This study confirms the importance of the foreskin for penile sensitivity, overall sexual satisfaction, and penile functioning. Furthermore, this study shows that a higher percentage of circumcised men experience discomfort or pain and unusual sensatio...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23374102/

KitWyn · 04/01/2026 13:31

The UK has successfully banned lots of vile and/or unfair practices that some British people were very, very attached to. The zealots' enthusiasm was often based, at least partly, on a Holy Book of choice.

Child Marriage, FGM, Unequal Pay/Recruitment/Employment for Women, Polygamy and Slavery are just a few behaviours we've managed to outlaw. Not necessarily perfectly, but very few would now dare suggest undoing these bans in the UK.

As regards Orthodox Jews, they're sufficiently quiet and few in number, to largely keep under the British public radar. We don't read regular news reports on their involvement in child rape & torture gangs, or plans to commit acts of violence/terrorism. So they don't receive the same attention as UK Muslims, despite their beliefs also being typically misogynistic, homophobic and controlling.

But. One law for all, should be a non-negotiable principle. Whatever your religion, or lack of religion.

We should ban male circumcision for boys on religious grounds. Children/babies can't consent to this. And their parents shouldn't be able to consent on their child's behalf for this medically-unnecessary surgery. It is child abuse.

We should also remove the exemption allowing non-stun slaughter for kosher (and halal) abattoirs. Playing pre-recorded prayers doesn't reduce the pain and fear when animals are killed.

These are cruel, unnecessary and divisive religious practices. They need to be banned.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:31

TheignT · 04/01/2026 13:19

I've just told you not all men are happy with it. Your husband is my husband isn't. It wasn't necessary so why do it?

No one said all men are happy. Most are. And given the importance of circumcision and the higher risk of complications as adult, MY husband is glad it was done when he was a baby. Its a non issue.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 13:38

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:31

No one said all men are happy. Most are. And given the importance of circumcision and the higher risk of complications as adult, MY husband is glad it was done when he was a baby. Its a non issue.

Why is it so important?

As previously stated the greater risk is because of the anaesthetic (educate yourself 🙄)These poor babies are held down with having had little to no anaesthetic. An older child or adult is often given a GA.

Plus having it done as an adult is the adults choice

NotAnotherPylon · 04/01/2026 13:38

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:09

You call it mutilation. Those circumcised babies grow into men who are perfectly happy that they were circumcised.
And no, you dont know what is best for all babies. Sure, dont circumcise your own babies, that's fine. But you really dont know what is best for other people's.

I think I know that slicing pieces of skin off tiny babies without anaesthetic is wrong for everyone’s babies (unless for medical reasons), in the same way that I know hitting is wrong for all children. I don’t need to climb inside the heads of the parents gain greater insight. If I see a parent walloping their child, I’m not inclined to think that they know best because it’s their child.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/01/2026 13:43

sabababa · 04/01/2026 13:31

No one said all men are happy. Most are. And given the importance of circumcision and the higher risk of complications as adult, MY husband is glad it was done when he was a baby. Its a non issue.

Well yes, if it was a choice between having it done as a baby or an adult, most men would be glad the memories would fade, having it done as a baby.
As an adult most men would not make the choice.

SerendipityJane · 04/01/2026 13:53

Seems for some on this thread, consent is moot. Bit of a shame for those caught up in it, but I guess they know best. I mean when has consent ever been important for women ?

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 14:01

If MGM was introduced now, it would be made illegal. That can be said of many harmful things in our society like smoking, alcohol, and yes, even things like ear piercing on under 18s.

But it was not introduced now. You can’t just ignore that. that’s what presents the difficulty.

LeonMccogh · 04/01/2026 14:02

I wonder how many of these oh-so-liberal posters would be aghast at parents who spank.

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:04

Iocanepowder · 04/01/2026 07:07

I’m a non-practicing Jewish atheist.

Although i actively don’t people (for example at work or my son’s school) that I was raised Jewish because of the current climate, this doesn’t mean Jewish culture should not be called out for doing something wrong.

I agree it's wrong : but would a ban ultimately achieve the result of protecting children - or just create more problems?

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