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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think infant circumcision is wrong but also that a total ban on it will not work and is not the most effective way to tackle it?

732 replies

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:49

On the recent threads after the tragic death of the baby boy who died from circumcision performed by a non medical professional, there have been a lot of calls for a total ban on here.
Now, I think infant circumcision is very wrong. But in practice I do not think a ban will work.
Most cultural circumcisions are performed by medically trained people. Backstreet ones need to be cracked down on with the full force of the law, but they are not typical.
Second, circumcision is key in Islam. However, while most agree it’s either compulsory or strongly recommended, age requirements are not as stringent in mandating someone has to be a minor. I think there is some hope sensitive campaigning within the community could maybe make more families consider leaving it until their son is at least maybe an older adolescent with more ability to choose.
Judaism – circumcision is central to Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox Haredi ofc, and more liberal Masorti and Reform. It is extremely unlikely that any law or external pressure would stop these practices, because brit milah is a covenantal obligation tied to Jewish identity. Attempting a blanket ban would likely trigger defensiveness, fear, maybe underground circumcisions and probably emigration of at least some to Israel or elsewhere, rather than protect children.
Focusing on sterile procedures, trained practitioners, and medical supervision would be more likely to significantly reduce risk. Jews have experienced persecution for circumcision in the past (e.g., Hellenistic bans and European restrictions), so any attempt to criminalise it today can feel existential. This is only heightened by the terrible upsurge in anti Semitism recently.

I agree with sentiments behind calling for a ban - I just thing measures short of a ban are more likely to work.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Bestchocolate · 04/01/2026 12:27

There are definatly groups out there trying to turn the tide on it.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:28

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:27

Duh. And you know what, he doesnt need mumsnet telling him what he should be feeling about his circumcision 😂
You dont know better!!

You seem to think you do!

Mumnet isn’t telling him anything

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:29

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:26

Nope. FGM is totally different in purpose and impact.
I can promise you males are not marginalised in Islam and judaism

Again - what is the purpose of circumcision - you will not answer this will you?

Mischance · 04/01/2026 12:30

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:22

Maybe because they feel they cant be connected to their God without it and fear what will happen if they are not.

For goodness sake! How can intelligent civilised people give any credence to this nonsense? How many millenia will it take before reason takes over?

As to the argument that circumcised men do not generally complain about this..... it is because they have no experience of having a normal penis so have nothing to compare it with.

If an adult man wishes to have this done for whatever reason he can make that choice.

But mutilation of babies is fundamentally wrong and should not be cordoned under any circumstances whatever.

chocciechocface · 04/01/2026 12:30

AddSomeKindness · 04/01/2026 08:04

I apologise if there was any confusion. Did you not see where I mentioned that a boy's foreskin typically doesn’t retract until around the age of 8? This can lead to a buildup of dirt and potentially result in infections. This information was shared with me by the surgeon who performed the minor procedure on our sons.

Did he tell you that just before he handed you a big bill for the procedure? Your baby boy’s surgeries probably bought him a new car.

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:30

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:26

Do you think so?

I think maybe people ask women their plans for their children from a young age, because they assume they will be mothers and handle such matters. Men dont deal with those particular societal assumptions so are less likely to have the topic thrust upon them in the same way.

Men are the ones it’s being done to, so why would women have a Greater role in discussing and worrying about it?

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:31

chocciechocface · 04/01/2026 12:30

Did he tell you that just before he handed you a big bill for the procedure? Your baby boy’s surgeries probably bought him a new car.

I mean, I think it costs a few hundred quid 🤣

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:32

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:25

Webmd?🤣🤣🤣

you’ve still not answered how this benefits the child? A legitimate reason as to how chopping off part of his penis is a benefit to him

Webmd is actually an absolutely legitimate source of medical information.
There are others.
Anyway, now you've been.proven wrong, youre changing the goalposts. But ok, yes, there are some benefits to male circumcision but that's not the main reason it's done these days.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:34

Mischance · 04/01/2026 12:30

For goodness sake! How can intelligent civilised people give any credence to this nonsense? How many millenia will it take before reason takes over?

As to the argument that circumcised men do not generally complain about this..... it is because they have no experience of having a normal penis so have nothing to compare it with.

If an adult man wishes to have this done for whatever reason he can make that choice.

But mutilation of babies is fundamentally wrong and should not be cordoned under any circumstances whatever.

So you've decided for all these billions of men that you know better than them what is good for them?!

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:34

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:26

But they don’t. I have participated and witnessed hundreds of threads in women’s forums arguing about circumcision.

I have not once been in the pub with a group of people doing so (or witnessed it during the time I worked in pubs) my husband says he’s never had a conversation about it.

to some extent, internet forums force you to have opinions on things you don’t really care about that much in reality, just so you can participate. I’m convinced this topic is one.

So i have heard men bring it up when FGM is raised in a "what about us?" way, and then a few men might chirp in and support circumcision while others feel there is a double standard.

I have heard men debate it when it has become relevant to one man in the group. Probably because him and partner have different or mixed feelings about it. It is often as a wider conversation about mixed cultural relationships.

I have heard it raised by men who do circumcise in their culture and they are all in agreement that it is still a superior choice.

I also just looked on 4chan and they talk about it there. They seem mostly against it.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:35

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:32

Webmd is actually an absolutely legitimate source of medical information.
There are others.
Anyway, now you've been.proven wrong, youre changing the goalposts. But ok, yes, there are some benefits to male circumcision but that's not the main reason it's done these days.

I haven’t been proven wrong - the biggest risk is to do with anaesthetic which isn’t given to a baby

And I ask you - yet again (not moving goal posts just you won’t answer the question which I’ve asked you several times) what are the legitimate benefits to the baby?

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:36

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:30

Men are the ones it’s being done to, so why would women have a Greater role in discussing and worrying about it?

Why do women talk about their feelings more than men and feel safer to openly protect the vulnurable? You ever heard of the patriarchy?

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:36

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:28

You seem to think you do!

Mumnet isn’t telling him anything

Hes my husband 😂
Im not telling him how to feel, im telling you how he feels 🤣
And yes, you and others on mumsnet are saying he apparently should feel mutilated
This whole thread is slightly nuts.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:37

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:31

I mean, I think it costs a few hundred quid 🤣

But think how many of these he’s done? He’s still making money out of unnecessary surgery

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:38

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:37

But think how many of these he’s done? He’s still making money out of unnecessary surgery

Well you said her babies boys surgeries probably bought him a car which did seem a bit ridiculous

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:38

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:38

Well you said her babies boys surgeries probably bought him a car which did seem a bit ridiculous

I didn’t say it bought him a car????? Are you mixing me up with another poster?

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:39

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:35

I haven’t been proven wrong - the biggest risk is to do with anaesthetic which isn’t given to a baby

And I ask you - yet again (not moving goal posts just you won’t answer the question which I’ve asked you several times) what are the legitimate benefits to the baby?

Nope. Not just anaesthetic related. More complications, longer recovery.
Yes, limited benefits (healthwise) but again not the main reason its done.

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:39

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:36

Why do women talk about their feelings more than men and feel safer to openly protect the vulnurable? You ever heard of the patriarchy?

Yes and the patriarchy generally means that women focus on womens issues and let men invest the mental energy to fight theirs (like MGM)

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:40

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:38

I didn’t say it bought him a car????? Are you mixing me up with another poster?

Oh it’s because you blasted into the post I was responding too I assumed you were that poster

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:41

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:40

Oh it’s because you blasted into the post I was responding too I assumed you were that poster

Not me! I accept your apology (unless im blasting in again?)

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:44

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:39

Yes and the patriarchy generally means that women focus on womens issues and let men invest the mental energy to fight theirs (like MGM)

No it means women who fulfil their assumed role as caregivers (which this would fall under) are not acting deviantly. Men who either admit weakness or show compassion are acting deviantly.

Women wanting to protect their sons from a traumatic procedure are just seen as women being women. That is the kind of thing they should be doing while their husbands and sons are out fighting wars and other Man stuff.

GCSEBiostruggles · 04/01/2026 12:46

When it comes to religious practices you can't do much other than regulate. Perhaps specialist clinics where you can ensure the instruments are at least clean and someone with medical training is in attendance. A register of some sort for post op check-ups. Suggest they defer until the child can comply? It would be a slippery slope into condoning FGM though I suspect.

Mischance · 04/01/2026 12:46

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:34

So you've decided for all these billions of men that you know better than them what is good for them?!

No - I know what is better for babies. And that is not to be mutilated.

Abhannmor · 04/01/2026 12:50

When adults are ill surgery is considered a last resort. For example I suffered with adhesive capsulitis / frozen shoulder - in both sides and it was very painful. I had a lot of physio and pain relief. My doctor advised against an operation until I'd exhausted all other options, like steroid injections. She said you should never take surgery lightly.

So why take that risk with the perfectly healthy genitals of a tiny infant ?

TheignT · 04/01/2026 12:53

Bestchocolate · 04/01/2026 10:43

Btw I'm constructing a new religion with some friends.
We shall deign it necessary to chop off the babies little toe age two weeks old. It's our religion and we are very strict on.this.

And obviously adult converts need to have it done as well. I'm assuming no pain relief as you need them to feel pain because? Well just because.