To feel sad my adult son prefers his girlfriends parents to his own

[Bossie21]

i thought we were a close family, I have spent my life investing in raising my children and building what I thought was a close family.
my eldest son has been with his girlfriend for just over 2 years, she is nice, spends time at ours and comes out with us and has been a holiday with us. My son has done the same with her family.
they born still live at home but are moving in together at the end of January.
I have noticed over the last 6 months they have started spending most of their time at her parents house and can’t make decisions without her dad agreeing. I have always taught my children to make their own choices and be their own person. I don’t feel he is now.
they have booked a holiday for a week with her parents this year. I have just asked if he is coming on our annual family holiday (i
book 2 weeks but happy for them both to
come for some or all) and he’s said they can’t commit so don’t boom them a space. I am very upset they can commit to her parents but not us.
Am I right to feel a little bit hurt?

@Differentforgirls

“The way I look at it is that I lived with my parents for 23 years and have lived with my husband for 38.”

what’s the relevance of that?

Are you always this rude? Or it could be a complete lack of education, manners and the result of a bad upbringing. It’s obvious you don’t have children given your other post on this thread.

Probably a good decision tbh.

@Differentforgirls

eh?? My other post was encouraging OP to invest some time, energy and effort into herself after years of investing most of it on her children - something she herself said, she is important too! How does that make you so sure that I don’t have children and that if I didn’t that would be a good thing?? I think that’s pretty rude tbh…

Good. You receive what you give. Rude reciprocated 👍

@Differentforgirls

errr you didn’t answer my question…why was my previous post on this thread rude? Is that because it wasn’t actually rude at all? And certainly not indicative that I don’t have children and it being a good job I don’t

I'd like to add a slightly different perspective/piece of advice for you OP, which comes from Tom Hanks;

"Time is your ally, and, if nothing else, just wait"

In other words, things change, dynamics shift, relationships move forward, nothing ever stays the same, good or bad. For now, live your life, in whatever way is meaningful to you, be the bright and beautiful you that you have always been, keep on walking, don't look back.
One day, sometime from now, you will find that it is your son who is seeking you out, asking to join in the things you have planned. You and his father and brothers are his touchstone, and he will find his way back to you all, in time.

Take care x

You got your answer.

Beautiful.

@Differentforgirls

i didn’t though! What’s wrong with OP investing some of her time energy effort into herself??

I think the point is he isn’t being his own person if he now runs everything past her father before making a decision