My cousin “loves her DD more than a normal mother”

[Sally20099]

This sounds petty, and it probably is, but I’m getting rather fed up of my cousin constantly telling me I wouldn’t understand how much love she has for her DD because she is “special” (ie she needed IVF to conceive and waited many years for this to materialise). It’s now been over a year and my cousin still goes on about this, and in all seriousness regularly announces or implies that those who conceive naturally can not love their own children as much because her struggle was so immense (and btw I’m not suggesting it wasn’t anything other than heartbreaking). AIBU if I say something and end this nonsense or should I just put up with it?

I am so, so sorry for everyone on this thread who has experienced the loss of babies and children. ☹️

💐💐💐💐

@FuzzyWolf I agree with this poster. 💐

I would think all children are special to their parents (I hope). I had a miscarriage between DS and DD, and it then took a long time to conceive DD, but I've never thought that makes her more special than any other baby. Maybe the difficulty is something she's trying to process and this is her way of talking about it?

I think I would tell her that you don’t know a single mum that doesn’t think anyone could possibly love another person as much as we love our own children! Tell her that her saying her child is more special than yours is actually a really nasty thing to say and that you don’t accept that other peoples babies are any less important to their parents just because they conceived easily.. maybe put it to her that ‘does that mean if a parent almost looses their child to a illness that that child is more special and loved than your little buttercup? No!!
Tell her it really doesn’t matter whether it took someone a year to conceive or 10… once the baby is born most mothers/parents feel exactly the same about their baby as she does!
f she argues tell her quite plainly that you’re actually not interested in her opinion on the matter and remind her how fkn hurtful it is for her to suggest that your child is loved less or less special than hers is…. And tell her she needs to think about that….. and ell hee you’re not actually interested in hearing what she thinks about this subject anymore

I tried for 11 years …. Had 4 rounds of full IVF (it was my partner so had to do ICSI, egg recovery etc) it failed every single time! Followed closely by our relationship!
met someone else and it took us 3 years to conceive…. I think I thought my baby would be even more special because of everything I went through, and of course she’s my world… BUT most parents feel the exact same way..
I guess its difficult when you’re filled with love for these little munchkins to imagine that everyone else is also feeling the same?!…
Or you could say nothing whenever she says it and just ignore her… if she says it at play dates or in the nursery queue at pickup she’ll learn how people feel about being told their child isn’t as special as hers 🤣