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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to wish DD's boyfriend wasn't so good looking?

173 replies

ItWasntMeOnTheCounter · 02/01/2026 16:35

DD and her boyfriend are both 17. They've been together for about a year, and are completely smitten - adore each other, have really compatible senses of humour, just "get" each other, etc. They are each other's first partners. I really like BF - he's kind, open and sweet.

BF is good looking in a way which tends to get really noticed - he's been approached repeatedly by modelling agencies, and recently he's been considering whether he should sign up to one. DD very supportive of whatever he wants to do, of course.

Anyway... I can't help worrying and thinking that very good looking males tend to portend heartache. AIBU to think it's possibly going to make things really hard on the relationship? I'm not intending to do DD down with this post - she's beautiful, and she's clever, and funny, and generally fantastic. But looks have never been much of a "thing" in our family - generally, we're quite ordinary looking (although I think DD much better looking than DH or I ever were) and talents lie elsewhere.

I know it's really unusual that a relationship is for the long run anyway at 17, so feel mildly ridiculous writing this post, but they're both currently so serious about the relationship and DD wants and considers it to be the "real thing". Also - DH and I met at 15 and are still together 30 years later, so....

AIBU to worry about it?!

OP posts:
MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 02/01/2026 16:37

What a strange thread.

Ugly men can break hearts too.

SixDozen · 02/01/2026 16:37

Just let it run it's course.

Whizzingwhippet · 02/01/2026 16:37

They're 17. It's almost certainly going to end in teenage heartbreak regardless of whether they are conventionally good looking or not.

Arlanymor · 02/01/2026 16:38

He adores her, is kind, open and sweet. What’s to worry about? His looks are immaterial and sound like you are projecting based on knowing attractive people in the past who behaved badly. He’s done nothing wrong and if you don’t set your own head straight on this you run the risk of your concern leaking out in a way that looks as if you disapprove of someone who has only ever treated your daughter well. And guess what - less attractive people can be arseholes too!

MandemChickenShop · 02/01/2026 16:39

Have a cup of tea and calm down

socks1107 · 02/01/2026 16:39

Very odd thing to worry about. Relationships of all ages end for many reasons

ItWasntMeOnTheCounter · 02/01/2026 16:40

MandemChickenShop · 02/01/2026 16:39

Have a cup of tea and calm down

Haha, I think you're spot on 😂. Thanks

OP posts:
snowbaw · 02/01/2026 16:41

Batshit thread.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 02/01/2026 16:41

With the greatest of respect, give your head a wobble.

They're kids.

Do you think you and your husband lasted because he's ugly?

A LOT of projection going on in your post. And yes, it does sound a little ridiculous.

CinnamonBuns67 · 02/01/2026 16:41

Agree with above. Just because he's good looking doesn't mean he's more likely to break her heart, if his character is good she has nothing to worry about, if he was that sort of person to hurt her he would do it even if he was not good looking.

ItWasntMeOnTheCounter · 02/01/2026 16:44

Thank you all. I'm quite enjoying being called batshit on this one 😂

Intrigued that I'm getting some YANBUs, though, so clearly some people kind of get this (which I'm also grateful for - thank you!).

Suspect I'm overly influenced by the fact that my sister was screwed over by a very good looking man, whereas DH and I are very happy (and mediocre-looking!)!

OP posts:
Wellthisisrevealing · 02/01/2026 16:46

Sometimes I find less good looking means more likely to seek validation by flirting with others/ get their head turned by someone that flatters them

Wingingit73 · 02/01/2026 16:49

You're thinking too much about it. Forget it. Leave them to it. Never tell your daughter.

FuzzyWolf · 02/01/2026 16:49

You can’t just go on looks. I could list a number of unattractive men in the public eye who have clearly caused their partners all kinds of unnecessary heartache.

I suspect this relationship will end before too long regardless.

StrawberrySquash · 02/01/2026 16:49

I do see where you're coming from, but think it depends massively on the person. If his identity is built too much around his looks that's not particularly healthy, and if his looks mean he thinks he can get any woman he likes and act like a shit to them than again that's an issue. I've known one of those. But I've also known people who really weren't like that at all despite being stupidly good looking. So as with all this stuff it's the person inside that matters.

Justchillinhere · 02/01/2026 16:52

No more sherry trifle for you and throw out that left over brandy sauce 😊

Whitesapphire · 02/01/2026 16:55

Even if he was ugly he would probably still manage to hurt her in some way. At least she gets to enjoy having a good looking boyfriend for a bit.

ForeverPombear · 02/01/2026 16:57

My ex wasn't attractive, I fell head over heels in love with him and he destroyed me and broke my heart over and over.

My partner is gorgeous (I'm biased but it has also been said multiple times by friends and family) and he's the kindest person I've ever met.

Don't judge by looks.

blankittyblank · 02/01/2026 16:59

They're 17 - it'll end in heartbreak regardless.

Jamesblonde2 · 02/01/2026 17:01

Yes I’d be thinking it could end up in heartache as well. There’s good looking and there’s GOOD LOOKING and I think you’re referring to the latter.

champagnetrial · 02/01/2026 17:02
Ben Stiller Magnum GIF

*actual footage of boyfriend

HedgehogCrisps · 02/01/2026 17:02

Such an odd thing to post.

You describe your DD as beautiful...they can portend heartbreak too. Even ugly people for that matter.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/01/2026 17:05

Boris Johnson looks like a wet bag of bollocks topped by a mop head

7 kids! 4 different women. Wtf!!!!

SoOriginal · 02/01/2026 17:06

It’s charismatic men that tend to break hearts.

MyDeftDuck · 02/01/2026 17:07

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 02/01/2026 16:37

What a strange thread.

Ugly men can break hearts too.

They sure can……my ex turned out to be an ugly cretin in looks and personality ……..hence he’s my ex.

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