To be jealous of teacher friend?

[Notheretoday]

Name changed because I know some parents of children I teach are MNetters!

I'm a secondary school teacher. Have been for fifteen years. I love teaching, but the workload is stressing me to the point of feeling physically sick to return to work on Monday.

I'm in a large comprehensive school and have had classes as large at 34 and the stress of marking is taking its toll on me.

Over the past few years I've noticed a dramatic decline in behaviour at my school, as well as an increased animosity, even aggression, from parents. Too often I see excellent teachers crying in the staffroom because of malicious and unfounded accusations made by parents against kind, talented and hard-working people.

AIBU to feel very jealous of my ex-colleague who jumped ship a few years ago from my school and now works at a private boarding school?

She's a lot less stressed and more calm than she was when we worked together and said that she can really focus on teaching rather than behaviour management now. I'm so jealous of this.

I can't remember all the details, but she has:
very small classes
lengthy holidays (four weeks at Christmas, July and Aug off!).
doesn't have to work on Saturdays or after school. All meetings, including parents' meetings, are within the school day
lighter timetable
private health care
free financial advice
so many expensive resources at her fingertips, to use for planning and in lessons
free use of the facilities, including swimming pool and posh gym
better pay and pension
lovely work environment, with lots of perks like free food and tickets to events in the town
crucially - no behaviour issues whatsoever. It's a highly selective school, so all of the kids are very able and determined to do well. I thought they'd be really entitled, but she said they're all very respectful

I've never liked the idea of private education. I went to a state school and my DC are state-educated, but I'm feeling that life is too short to face another twenty years or so of my situation, rather than looking over the fence at working in selective independent schools. I'm so sick of dreading ever day.

AIBU to be jealous, or should I be glad to educate those who don't have the benefit of wealth?

I wouldn’t go to the private sector if I were you. I think you would find it difficult to be in an environment which goes against your ethical concerns. I have worked in a private school and it’s very different.

I had a friend who worked at a private school, She got reduced fees for her own child, so stuck with it. She didn’t particularly like it, but it was less stressful than public education. She’s moved on the special education now, and is much happier.

@sfd146That is a big incentive for people who want private education for dc, but the op thinks it’s elitist and doesn’t agree with it. I assume morals would get in the way of taking advantage of reduced fees!

Agreed. Don't move to private OP. We want teachers who support and value the students, not ones who undermine them and teach a bitter, biased view of the world. Find a different state school to move to.

I hope that the teachers who taught/teach my children don’t have preconceived ideas about them. I find it bewildering that so many people think only extremely privileged children are educated privately.

My neighbour is a teacher at a private school - last time we spoke she was incredibly pissed off - had decided to stop marking work and was looking for a way out - she says the salary difference is no longer significant.

@CatkinToadflax Including the op who cheered about vat. In our private school I felt teachers were on side with private schools. They appreciated the decent dc there and most dc were great too. The idea parental money makes dc horrible is a bizarre concept.

She's painting a rose-tinted version of her job. I'm a private school teacher. The pay is less and the expectations are higher. The flip side is that you have more holidays but on the other hand, are somehow expected to teach the entire curriculum in a shorter space of time and for each child to excel.
Behaviour isn't an issue, it has to be said, but learning difficulties are rife and there's no funding for auxiliary staff.
It's not the dream she's making it sound, I promise.

I had a look at the private sector and the "school day" is often 8-5 even at Prep School age.

I think perhaps the main problem may be your current school. You need to find one where the kids have a good attitude to learning. I taught in a school where the kids mostly respected the teachers and did want to learn. I then moved to one where the kids were supposed to have good behaviour and they just didn't have that desire to learn.

Private schools can be mixed sex.

Many private schools take refugees (eg. Our school has about 6 Ukrainian refugees in each year, and some Palestinian refugees - the ones I know of).

Many private schools offer significant bursaries to poorer applicants

Many private schools cater for many SEND kids.