Do your young children get up in the morning without you?

[Didimum]

If so, how old are they? How long for? And what do they do?

Yes they should be able to cope.

Tell them they can watch tv if they go down quietly without you, and then turn it off when you go down. They’ll soon learn that being quiet gets the an extra hour tv 🤣

I was going to say they do watch TV in the morning ... but I see what you're saying – TV is withdrawn when I'm up and awake! Sneaky!

DD2 used to get up and go downstairs and switch the TV on. Think she was about 6 at the time. She liked her quiet time on her own

I’ve reread some of the arguing above and can see where some posters are coming from.

7 years old is definitely old enough to understand parents need time to sleep, and to play / watch tv together without an adult for a while. They shouldn’t get to dictate whether or not you take a cup of tea back to bed etc, within the context of a normal healthy family dynamic that when you DO get up, they have nice interactions and a fulfilled day.
Wanting you to be there for the sake of it is not ok and I would see as a red flag for anxiety or neurodivergence which may also manifest in other quirks which become more obvious as they get older

Our DC age 6 and 10 hate being downstairs without us. DD 10 will pop down and make breakfast then come back up and hang out in her room quite happily.

DS6 has Autism and adhd and can’t manage it at all. I pop down and get his meds and a snack then he chills in our room until we’re ready to get up. He’ll watch tv, do iPad, play Lego etc….. all while giving us a nonstop running commentary. It’s the closest we get to a lie in.

Yes exactly!

When I get up it’s all “morning guys, let’s get dressed / brush teeth and go for a nice dog walk” or whatever your usual routine is. Watching crap kids tv is an early morning pre-adult-get-up thing in this house.
I think I started this tactics in lockdown and it’s definitely continued over weekends & holiday time.

Preschool children should not be awake and unsupervised by an awake and sober adult.

I have seen too many early morning accidents in A&E.

Yes, I was in no way comfortable with this idea when they were 4 or even 5.

My kids would go downstairs and get their breakfast (cereal) from about age 6. We just wouldn’t get up when they would bug us at an early hour. We didn’t have consequences per se, but they were just informed that certain days (weekends/ holidays), we were having a lie in and they could have a lie in or watch tv/ipad play in their rooms or go downstairs and get cereal. They were aware not to use toaster (until around age 8/9) or knives etc.

Christmas Day has always been the same. No getting up before 7am.

they had grow clocks and learnt to tell the time from an early age.

i have many friends that say their kids still get up at 5/6am and wake them up. My response is always ‘just tell them no’. If you do this as you mean to go on when you feel they are capable and they understand the value of sleep and rest for grown ups.

now they are older I usually have to wake them from their mammoth weekend lie ins if we need to get things done, however I respect their sleep too and if they need it I let them sleep and get themselves refreshed and replenished.

They have had groclocks since they were 3, and they ignored them. The rule was the standard rule of only coming out of their room when the light turns on (at 7am) – which they didn't do – ever. I told them to go back to bed and wait for the light. Again and again and again. For years. Some kids simply will ignore groclocks.

The issue is the same now really. We do tell them no – again and again and again. And they simply come back and ask every few minutes. They seem to have an incredibly thick skin to this. I can't always consistently never get up because there have been times when I need to or feel like I should. So what I've said on this thread shouldn't be taken as me just simply letting it happen – I don't. They can both tell the time and both have clocks in their rooms.

I don't really believe that kids this age can ever understand the value of sleep and rest for grown ups – I think they either leave their parents alone because 1) they don't particularly care 2) they are naturally more compliant and rule abiding or 3) they don't have anxious tendencies effecting them surrounding it.

I have taken the time to speak to them today (as suggested upthread by another poster), and both have said again that they are 'scared'. I asked them what of – they said of the dark, being alone, of monsters or something bad happening (both said a mixture of these things). I offered their torches so they can go and turn all the lights on, but they said they are still scared to be alone in the morning.

Now, when I have gotten up with them, I often go sit in another room downstairs to be in the quiet, which they have no problem with at all. I asked them what's the difference if I'm in another room downstairs or upstairs in my bedroom – it's only a staircase away. They both said they feel frightened to know I'm not downstairs with them.

I tried to allay their fears, but still tell them I am only in another room and they are completely safe, but I honestly don't think that will do much for them when the morning comes round and they feel these feelings.

There's been a number of people on this thread who say they find all this easier when they live in flats and bungalows, as it gives the kids more of a sense of safety. I'm beginning to think our house doesn't help – it is big and old and classically 'spooky'.

We'll see what happens tomorrow morning after having had the conversation and the torches!

My DS has done it since he was 5. He likes chilled alone time and would moan at me if I came down, he was only watching kids Tv 🤣

My nearly 8 year old DTs amuse themselves until I get up. Generally they’ll watch tv or play a game and if they’re hungry they’ll make themselves breakfast. This is mainly school holidays and Sundays, I realise I sound like I lounge in bed till midday which I definitely do not do!!

Having read your last post their responses seem odd given they also don't seem content to play in their room either, is that on the same level as your room?

7 years old, won’t even leave the room without me so shouts ‘mummy’ as loud as possible until I am there. I long for the day when they will just go downstairs without me!

6 and 3 will go downstairs without us at the weekends. 6YO can work the TV, but 3YO just takes himself off to play. Sometimes in his room, sometimes downstairs. He loves a little alone time with his toys for imaginative play, whereas my eldest won't do anything without the youngest and/or us in tow.

@Didimumcould have written this myself, 8 and 6 year old and wake me up in the morning, and ask over and over if we can go down. They won’t go down alone, they don’t like coming upstairs by themselves in the day particularly either. They will entertain themselves in their room for a short while in the morning but are in my room every few minutes asking when it’s time to get up and go down

No mine need to be woken up, they’d happily sleep in if not!

Personally I used to love cereal and 1990s Saturday morning kids TV whilst my parents were still in bed

Yet some people on this thread would have us believe we created a discipline problem!

They get up and get straight into our bed!

Yes 6 year old is an early riser and he is happy to fetch his tablet and / or play with cuddly toys in his room if it's too early to get up.
He does usually come in and check if I'm getting up yet / is it morning but if I say no he will amuse himself for an hour or so.
Younger one is 3 and I wouldn't have him up without an adult around but he doesn't tend to wake as early as the eldest who just doesn't like sleep.

Age 7

Comes and gets into bed with me then demands I get up after a few minutes

Ours did from when they were about 3 and 6. We were in a two bed flat so they were never very far from us and usually one of us would be awake not all that long after them. The oldest could turn on TV and they would watch that until we were up, or play with toys.

Yes from about 4/5. He'd wake me first then ask to go downstairs. I'd doze a bit but not properly sleep. He could get himself breakfast and play for a bit.

My 6yr old can get up and go downstairs and play. I sometimes prep breakfast he can easily grab and he can feed himself.
his 5yr old cousin does that every morning - breakfast (dry cereal is in the bowl; cup of milk in the fridge for the cereal and bowl of cut up fruit) and independent play

Op I read your comment where they say they’re scared. Asked them if they have a walkie talkie (set of 2 is cheap on Amazon) and you have one so they can reach you immediately if they go downstairs will make them feel safer? Over time they’ll get used to it and realize there’s nothing to worry about. Just an idea.