Do your young children get up in the morning without you?

[Didimum]

If so, how old are they? How long for? And what do they do?

I have one 4 year old and he knows how to behave.

Nope, wrong again. Earlier in the thread I said that I do have to get up early sometimes with them (not related to week days or weekend) so they can find the expectation harder to connect because it’s sporadic.

I do stay in bed and don’t get up when they pester. In fact I did that this morning.

OP I don't know what you wanted from this thread

I wanted to hear what other kids and parents do, which I have heard. So that is what I want from the thread. I also have enjoyed the discussion with posters who do not believe wanting a parent with them in the morning is misbehaviour and have offered advice of encouragement, not consequences. That’s been very useful to me and you will see that in my replies.

Not getting from the thread what YOU want me to get from it or me not agreeing with YOUR opinion on it is immaterial.

Pestering is bad behaviour. I will agree to disagree, but I'm glad my 4 year old knows not to come pestering me every 3 minutes in a morning if I've told them to do something specifically like to play quietly until I'm ready. I think it's important to set boundaries earlier than 7 almost 8.

Ah. Explains everything then. Also explains why you don’t appear to be well versed in the application and effectiveness in consequences for older children. Once again, I don’t believe a child wanting a parent present with them in the morning upon waking is in fact misbehaviour. We’ll have to agree to disagree on that.

Yep, we’ll have to agree to disagree that it’s not misbehaviour. As I’ve mentioned several times on this thread, they say they are ‘scared’ - hence why I’ve been engaging more on posters who have spoken about encouragement and tackling anxiety.

I’m sure you are glad your 4yr old doesn’t pester you in the morning – that’s irrelevant here.

You aren’t applying effective consequences for your children so you wouldn’t know yet. Wanting to be with a parent isn’t misbehaviour. Pestering, demanding, and not listening to your parent, is misbehaviour. But it’s not their fault as they’re not used to a parent following through on what they say.

Poor you!
My twin nearly 8 year olds have been amusing themselves first thing in the morning since they were about 4.
They get breakfast (fruit and cereal I leave out for them) and feed the dogs and cats!

My 9 year old woke us up 9am on Christmas Day. I was awake earlier, but snoozing. Absolutely bliss after many years of 5ams.

My oldest who’s 17 is a night owl and has always been. Youngest was a super early riser when little. Just the 2 of them.

I’ve been sleeping more/later this holiday than I have in many many years. Back to normal next week and have loved the chill time.

7yr olds naturally pester, demand and test boundaries – that’s not a reflection of ineffective parenting, it’s childhood. Assuming otherwise based on zero context is as misinformed as it is presumptuous.

You don’t have older children, twin children or even two children, so I’m afraid all your ‘advice’ is irrelevant and very limited here.

Rejecting reality because I’m not answering you in the way you want won’t make it bend to your preference, so stop trying to engineer it.

Oh that’s lovely. Either both or one or the other of mine was awake from 3am on Christmas morning 😂

To be fair I have 5 children, 4 of whom are older than yours so I'd say I have more experience than you. It's fair enough that you think none of it is misbehaviour but in that case I suppose it won't change, you aren't challenging them on it so why would they stop?

I don't think it's fair to exclude anything a poster says just because her child is younger than yours.

My 6 year old won't even get out of bed in the morning without us. She calls for us and one of us goes into her (if we're not already in her bed - she often calls for us in the night). I can usually snooze in her bed while she plays in her room for a bit.

I absolutely don't mind this though, so I'm happy for the current situation to continue. She's a child who naturally wants to be around us at home (including chatting while she's on the loo) but she's very confident in social situations and at school so I'm not worried. We just take it in turns to have lie ins on holiday and at the weekend.

I’m not excluding it because her child is younger, I’m excluding it because it’s been repeatedly didactic, unhelpful and based solely on a very different context.

I am challenging it. I have described what happens when it’s challenged. I have also found the suggestions on this thread than lean towards encouragement rather than punishment helpful and have said I will try implementing those.

Mine did go through that phase too. Though I think it was less because they shared a room so would naturally encourage each other to get out of bed. Though even now they would never get out of bed in the middle of the night – they call out instead. Both of them are very, very afraid of the dark and know when it’s dead of night as opposed to early morning.

I don’t remember exactly but probably from a pretty young age, whenever they could manage to pour their own cereal or milk and switch on the tv I guess probably later 2-3. I’ve always lived in homes on one level though so no going down stairs. They were basically in the next room and I’m a very light sleeper so would be awake

My youngest is nearly 8 and he's been getting up himself for about a year i think. He'll get up, go to the loo (so I wake up anyway hearing him shutting the door loudly) then go downstairs and play or just chill on the sofa.
This week we've been back at work and his grandad has been looking after him but he can't come to pick him up until after we've already left so DS has been getting himself up with an alarm, brushing his teeth and getting dressed (big sister is in the house, but asleep)

Someone upthread mentioned always being in a flat too. I do think this helps a lot when you have a kid/kids who is anxious about it.

I made a rule about a year ago that on a school morning they have to get dressed and brush teeth before going downstairs. They absolutely hate it and complain about it every single morning. And I have never relented once. They are simply quite complainy kids I think.

Some kids are definitely complainy kids but good on you for not relenting, sometimes its so hard to hold firm when they're whinging and moaning, I am definitely guilty of giving in from time to time which just makes it worse.

My kids were early risers between 5 and 6am til they hit about 10. As we live in a converted bungalow, their rooms are also downstairs, while my room is upstairs. From about 5, they were allowed to get themselves up and get some food I would be down by 6.30 am, as by then they had reset my sleeping patterns quite considerably. They knew if they needed me, they could come, but frankly have both always liked to be independent. Til she was 5 the eldest would always call out, the youngest had her sister for safety. They are 11 and 14 now and finally waking later. If you have asked them repeatedly and they don't leave you alone, I am not sure what you can do other than bribery - a game they can only play if they leave you alone / TV they can only watch before you get up?

Engineer what? You can answer any way you like. Everything you say does point to a lack of boundaries and giving in far too often.

Engineering a response you’d like that I’m not giving you. You’re unhelpful. False stop.

Please point out where ‘everything’ I say points to ‘lack of boundaries’ and giving in ‘far too often’. Direct quotes are needed for that. I’ll be waiting til you have those.

Wait away. I’m not interested in engineering any kind of response from you. You clearly need no help with that, you know what’s best. You said your kids demands for you to get up drive you mental so you can either do something about it or not 🤷🏻‍♀️

You said your kids demands for you to get up drive you mental so you can either do something about it or not

Yeah … if you’d read my comments to others you’d see what I am taking away from it to implement going forward. Several things in fact. Not yours – because nothing you said was helpful, relevant or described the context of the situation.

When mine were younger they would get up and go down before us. We weren’t blessed with sleepers so it was wonderful not being disturbed of a weekend. When the youngest was 5 and eldest 9 they started getting us up because they were hungry. Usually we’d get an hour and they’d play. The night before we would put cereal in bowls under cling film and leave a plastic jug of milk in the fridge with yoghurts. On the table would be fruit juice cartoons, fruit and an oat biscuit. The 9 year old loved the responsibility of being the milk pourer and yoghurt fetcher. It worked well for years until they got older and could make themselves toast and get their own breakfasts. Fast forward to now, it’s the kids that remain in bed and me and DH sink coffee in peace.