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AIBU?

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Original poster

New puppy...

355 replies

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:20

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

OP posts:
oustedbymymate · 31/12/2025 10:22

Jeez. Why did you cave? 10 years of this. 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:29

oustedbymymate · 31/12/2025 10:22

Jeez. Why did you cave? 10 years of this. 🤦‍♀️

I know i had held strong for years. Other family members got dogs in the summer and I seen how much my children loved them I felt bad not allowing them now I'm miserable. Tbh I think I'm more annoyed at how unsupportive DP is being he can see my face is swollen around my eyes and they are bloodshot and streaming with water and constantly sneezing I'm not making it up

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 31/12/2025 10:30

Two choices... dog goes or i do.

Then be prepared to pack...

I'm a dog lover but what you describe is not reasonable.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/12/2025 10:31

oustedbymymate · 31/12/2025 10:22

Jeez. Why did you cave? 10 years of this. 🤦‍♀️

And getting a dog over Christmas - the worst time of year to acquire a dog...

Original poster
Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:31

shea been so easy to train she genuinely is a lovley dog and no hassle at all

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 31/12/2025 10:33

You tried, but you can’t live like that. Dh knows which is why he’s being awful, he wants to keep the dog and knows it’s unreasonable. Can it go back to the breeder?

Rizzz · 31/12/2025 10:33

oustedbymymate · 31/12/2025 10:22

Jeez. Why did you cave? 10 years of this. 🤦‍♀️

Any dog I've ever owned has lived to 16 years old!

Grumblies · 31/12/2025 10:34

It seems bonkers to agree when you are allergic to dogs to get a dog and to get one over Christmas indicates it didn't come from a sensible breeder so unfortunately you're unlikely to be able to send her back.

k1233 · 31/12/2025 10:35

Need pics! What breed is puppy? Do you know the trigger for your allergies? It can be fur, it can be dander, it can be saliva etc. Fur and dander can potentially be dealt with by vacuuming, which I'd be making hubby do.

Original poster
Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

toomuchfaff · 31/12/2025 10:30

Two choices... dog goes or i do.

Then be prepared to pack...

I'm a dog lover but what you describe is not reasonable.

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

OP posts:
midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 10:36

Lollypop701 · 31/12/2025 10:33

You tried, but you can’t live like that. Dh knows which is why he’s being awful, he wants to keep the dog and knows it’s unreasonable. Can it go back to the breeder?

"Tried" it's a living creature with no agency in this world, not a disposable tissue.

midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 10:37

Grumblies · 31/12/2025 10:34

It seems bonkers to agree when you are allergic to dogs to get a dog and to get one over Christmas indicates it didn't come from a sensible breeder so unfortunately you're unlikely to be able to send her back.

Also there are no true hypoallergenic dog breeds, so anyone selling as that is already misleading....

tinyspiny · 31/12/2025 10:37

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

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I’d be leaving anybody who said this .

Cadenza12 · 31/12/2025 10:38

Your husband's cross because it's clear that this is a bad decision and it's not going to work. Heartbreaking all round. I've got a no shedding variety and I find little puffs of cotton wool type hair now and then. This is on him to sort out. I can only suggest that he grooms her outside daily at the moment.

Pricelessadvice · 31/12/2025 10:39

midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 10:36

"Tried" it's a living creature with no agency in this world, not a disposable tissue.

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I agree. Poor bloody dog.
In fairness, OP isn’t suggesting doing this.

My cousin is massively allergic to cats OP, but a cat moved into his and his partners house and they basically adopted it (it belonged to a neighbour who no longer wanted it). Over time his allergy to it has calmed down and he can do it on one antihistamine a day now. It took a few months though.

Cadenza12 · 31/12/2025 10:39

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

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That's quite frankly the most ridiculous thing I've heard. I'm so sorry he's put you in this impossible situation.

SharonEllis · 31/12/2025 10:44

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

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You have a bigger problem than the dog! He is completely unreasonable and you shouldn't put up with it.

Ladybyrd · 31/12/2025 10:46

He’s made the choice to get a dog. He’s also made the choice to sleep downstairs with it (which is a huge mistake in my experience - ours cried the first night and that was it). He needs to put his big boy pants on and get on with it. As for the allergies though, this should have been discussed before you got the dog.

Ladybyrd · 31/12/2025 10:48

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

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That’s ridiculous.

Makemeanonymous · 31/12/2025 10:48

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

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Does your partner even like you?
He insisted on buying the dog despite knowing your issue with allergies and now he tells you this?
It doesn’t sound as though you count for much in your own home.
And as for the poor dog: your partner should be totally ashamed of himself.

WarmGreyHare · 31/12/2025 10:49

Honestly, at 1 week in the best thing would be to return to the breeder.
However, that's assuming it is a decent breeder and they will take her back. Bit many good breeders will have had puppy's for Christmas though......
Is it a pure bred? As if you were suckered into a poodle cross then that may be the problem, the trouble with cross breeds is they can come out all sorts of different ways and different coats, its a gamble.
However-
For allergies. Keep the puppy away from your bedroom, and make sure you both wear non doggy clothes to sleep in so you don't bring it I to your sleep space.
Have washable bedding and keep it clean.
Have you bathed the puppy?

PumpkinSpicedLatte · 31/12/2025 10:52

What breed is it? Just wondering if we can help with research on how to handle this.
Realistically, though, I think your husband knows he’s fucked up but he’ll turn it round on it being your fault by the sounds of it. He should cave like you did and see your wellbeing over the dog. It’s sad though, as it’s not the dogs fault

Mathsbabe · 31/12/2025 10:52

Air purifiers really help, but have a cooling effect on the room.
Regular baths and brushing helps.
We don’t allow animals upstairs.

BohoGarden · 31/12/2025 10:53

Your DP doesn't sound mature enough to own a dog.

If he's already huffing about having to adapt his life to accommodate the dog how's he going to feel about going out into the freezing, muddy, wet dark to walk the pup for the second time on a grim February evening?

Other people take in a dog and devote everything and 100% love into caring for it. Your dog isn't going to get that in your house.

Let it go somewhere where it can have that.

Then rehome your partner.

Original poster
Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:55

midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 10:37

Also there are no true hypoallergenic dog breeds, so anyone selling as that is already misleading....

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she is a Maltipoo x cockapoo

yes i have been careful that before bed I change out of the pjs I wore downstairs around the dog and this morning DP wanted to go up to lie down so I asked him to change his pjs as he'd been around the dog and he then gave off at me for being controlling and that I just don't like the dog...🙄

she has had a bath and bedding is spotless
will try an air purifier

OP posts: