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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New puppy...

355 replies

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:20

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

OP posts:
GettingBlamed · 31/12/2025 10:56

Similar happened to me. My health got so bad due to allergies I rehomed the puppy as dh had said not to and refused to but I was left with it all day to look after so i took it back to the breeder

1apenny2apenny · 31/12/2025 10:58

I suspect your DH is already realising what having a puppy entails and can see what a time will be for him, its just convenient for him to blame it on you.

I agree with the previous post, return the dog to the breeder now whilst it’s still very young.

Grumblies · 31/12/2025 11:01

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:55

she is a Maltipoo x cockapoo

yes i have been careful that before bed I change out of the pjs I wore downstairs around the dog and this morning DP wanted to go up to lie down so I asked him to change his pjs as he'd been around the dog and he then gave off at me for being controlling and that I just don't like the dog...🙄

she has had a bath and bedding is spotless
will try an air purifier

Show quote history

So she's a cross of a cross? Mixing Maltese, Poodle and Cocker into one dog sounds like a recipe for chaos.

She definitely didn't come from a sensible breeder by the sounds of it.

BohoGarden · 31/12/2025 11:02

I feel sorry for the puppy having a bath in this cold weather when s/he's only been with you a week. Things should be as calm, stable, uneventful as possible for your pup during this settling in period.

You can't live the next possibly 15 years constantly changing bedding, pyjamas and washing the dog.

Nomoreink · 31/12/2025 11:02

Have you checked terms?

you may get a refund if you return to your breeder? Definitely Check this out.

Nomoreink · 31/12/2025 11:02

Have you checked terms?

you may get a refund if you return to your breeder? Definitely Check this out.

Functioningdisaster · 31/12/2025 11:03

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:55

she is a Maltipoo x cockapoo

yes i have been careful that before bed I change out of the pjs I wore downstairs around the dog and this morning DP wanted to go up to lie down so I asked him to change his pjs as he'd been around the dog and he then gave off at me for being controlling and that I just don't like the dog...🙄

she has had a bath and bedding is spotless
will try an air purifier

Show quote history

Your husband doesn't sound very nice op. I would be more bothered about his response than the dog.

TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 31/12/2025 11:04

Pricelessadvice · 31/12/2025 10:39

I agree. Poor bloody dog.
In fairness, OP isn’t suggesting doing this.

My cousin is massively allergic to cats OP, but a cat moved into his and his partners house and they basically adopted it (it belonged to a neighbour who no longer wanted it). Over time his allergy to it has calmed down and he can do it on one antihistamine a day now. It took a few months though.

Show quote history

Unfortunately not all pet allergies are like this.

I went from mild cat allergy to full facial swelling over my last cats lifetime. We tried everything, I had multiple antihistamines a day, the non drowsy ones even knocked me out because that's how the histamine system works, she was wiped with hypoallergenic wipes specifically for pet dander, we gave her a specialist diet to try and reduce the production of allergens, but in the end none of it mattered. I developed pleurisy, my lungs felt like I was breathing sandpaper.

I don't think it's realistic to expect OP to overcome her dog allergy or to take a dogs lifetime of medication either.

Madformaltesers · 31/12/2025 11:06

I had allergy symptoms when I got my pup, got used to him in about a month and they stopped. That first month was awful, puppy cried, I cried, I wanted to take him back to the rescue because he kept eating his own poo 🤢 it was bloody hard work for me as I wfh and I was trying to house train him. It is ok now 7 years on but we are tied, no spontaneous days out, weekends away as he cant be left more than 4 hours, holiday boarding is expensive.
I love him but I wouldn't do it again.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 31/12/2025 11:07

she is a Maltipoo x cockapoo

So not hypoallergenic at all, and probably poorly bred on top of that. Does your 'DP' know how expensive some of the health issues of these breeds are? Tbh, the 'breeder' (puppy farmer) isn't going to take the dog back so you are going to have to rehome.

But this is, ultimately, a DP and DC problem. They put their own selfish needs above yours, and i'd be pretty gutted as a partner and as a mother.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 31/12/2025 11:09

What an absolute shit show.

I don't see how you can continue to live with the dog if you are already trying antihistamines and limited contact but you are still having reactions. It's not going to work OP and you know it.

As far as your DH is concerned you need to give this relationship some serious thought. He sounds dreadful.

I would bet money that in no time at all DH will get fed up of all the effort needed with a new puppy and will suggest rehoming it ..but he's going to blame you .

Poor dog deserves better.

midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 11:10

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 31/12/2025 11:07

she is a Maltipoo x cockapoo

So not hypoallergenic at all, and probably poorly bred on top of that. Does your 'DP' know how expensive some of the health issues of these breeds are? Tbh, the 'breeder' (puppy farmer) isn't going to take the dog back so you are going to have to rehome.

But this is, ultimately, a DP and DC problem. They put their own selfish needs above yours, and i'd be pretty gutted as a partner and as a mother.

Ultimately its the problem of a 9 week old puppy that is going to go from a family home to kennels, because someone with allergies decided they'd give it a try.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 31/12/2025 11:11

By the way... There's no such thing as a "maltipoo cockerpoo breed".
It's a mutt. And mutts are great.
But it's a mutt. End of.

StrongTea · 31/12/2025 11:13

There are wipes you can use on the dog, think called petal cleanse or similar. Hopefully will help.

MinnieMountain · 31/12/2025 11:16

How much did he pay for this expensive mongrel?

Fangisnotacoward · 31/12/2025 11:16

I suppose first thing is, do you want to find a solution to try to allow you to keep the dog?

Maybe try an air filter to in each room downstairs to keep on top of the dander. Don't allow the dog upstairs, get a stair gate. Try a robot hoover ran downstairs twice a day or hoover twice a day.

Though if you are struggling and the allergies dont settle down, then maybe its too much, whether your partner likes it or not. You can't suffer for 10-15 years

Nincompoo · 31/12/2025 11:19

You might find the allergy symptoms go away in time. I was allergic to cats until we got our cats.

worrisomeasset · 31/12/2025 11:19

MinnieMountain · 31/12/2025 11:16

How much did he pay for this expensive mongrel?

And what on earth gave him the idea that this mongrel could be hypoallergenic?

Endofyear · 31/12/2025 11:20

I'm very allergic so would never consider getting a dog. Just being around them for a few hours leaves me feeling rough for a good few days, even taking antihistamines.

I have heard anecdotally that people become immune to their own dog after a while but don't know how true that is - I've never been willing to risk it!

Countryfiler · 31/12/2025 11:20

Petal cleanse. Buy it online, wipe puppy with it daily, it reduces the dander (skin flakes) that cause our allergies. Harmless to the pet.

Tutorpuzzle · 31/12/2025 11:21

I try not to post when angry, but for fucks sake! Rehome the poor thing, and quickly. None of you sound like you want it, and never, ever get another dog, especially from charlatan ‘breeders’ who just want the money.

I wonder what state the pup’s mother is kept in…

noidea69 · 31/12/2025 11:21

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:35

DP bought the dog and has told me if we rehome I have to pay him back and I don't have that amount of money

Show quote history

what a twat.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/12/2025 11:26

Doggynono · 31/12/2025 10:31

shea been so easy to train she genuinely is a lovley dog and no hassle at all

You've only had her a week. That's no time at all.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 31/12/2025 11:26

Some allergies to pets get better as you increase your exposure, however some get infinitely worse.

Op you shouldn't have let your dp bully you but you absolutely should not allow him to treat you like shit for a known health issue that his actions have worsened.

I have no advice, other than now is probably a good time to start aligning your ducks in a neat row and getting the hell out of that relationship. Your dp has shown his true colours here.

TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 31/12/2025 11:27

Even hypoallergenic breeds, which this is not, arent allergen free. They just supposedly shed less allergens.

Most allergens are in the skin flakes, urine, and saliva though and all dogs produce those. Hypoallergenic dogs just shed less hair, usually have tighter curls that trap allergens closer to the skin meaninf regular professional grooms are necessary to prevent matting, moisture retention and skin issues which cause more flaking and many are small breeds so there is less surface area to shed flakes from. There's no such thing as a truly hypoallergenic breed.