New puppy...

[Doggynono]

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

He can’t make you give him £800, get serious.

The dog needs to go back to the breeder as soon as possible.

And I would be considering whether I wanted to stay in this marriage.

I think your husband had been very unfair, to put it mildly, however I have been through something similar.
We got a dog (my choice) and when we went to visit her, I came out in hives, itchy eyes, wheezing etc. Obviously a sensible person would not have gone on to bring the dog home, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. At the start I had to be very strict, constantly hoovering, antihistamines, wearing long sleeves and trousers etc. I also kept our bedroom as a sort of “clean zone” so I (and dh) would strip off outside the door, and I would have a shower before going to bed. Gradually, I became used to her and now don’t need to worry about it. She can come upstairs, I can give her a cuddle in my pjs and no antihistamines are required. When my sisters dog comes to stay, I still often need an antihistamine.
For me it was worth persevering because she has brought so much joy into my life, but it is by no means guaranteed that your allergy will improve. Best of luck.

Hi Op, I don’t have advice on what to do re the puppy but I absolutely recommend “eyebright”. My mum has terrible allergies and it flared up real bad about a week ago- could not sleep for days due to constant sneezing. Similar to you, she was having to take x2 antihistamines.I bought her eyebright from this place https://qualifiednaturopath.co.uk/products/ols/products/eyebright-decoction-525ml-in-glass-uv-resistant-bottle and it works wonders!

Think I would be rehoming the partner along with the dog....

I think a bigger concern is your husband, getting a dog even though he knows you are allergic, moaning about sleeping downstairs with the dog he wanted and now being totally unsupportive. Could the breeder take the dog back? I feel sorry for the poor dog.

This simply isn't going to work. It's clear you cannot tolerate this dog. It's better to return to the breeder now.

He's furious because the dog he wanted so much is a dog he will clearly have to look after. Your allergy is going to prove to be rather prohibitive should you keep the dog, OP.

I imagine he was banking on you doing all the grunt work despite what he said:

"Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog."

• What is it they say, "men want kids like kids want a puppy"; in the case of your husband, he behaved like a child who wanted a puppy.

It is outrageous of him to expect you to pay him the money back for the dog should you not keep him.

The behaviour from him that you have outlined, which he is showing you when you very clearly have a bad allergic reaction to the dog, is contempt.

Sorry OP, I think you have a bigger problem than the dog here.

She a mongrel.

there is no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. Some breeds may illicit less allergic reactions, but not ever dog of that breed will be okay with every allergic person.

Being around a dog for an hour twice is very different to having a dog rub itself all over your soft furnishings, children and carpets for the entirety of its life.

This was a stupid decision from the start. If your DH cares more about giving your children a dog than he cares about giving them two happy, healthy parents then I think he needs to be called out for this

He sounds ghastly

So not only did you cave on letting your DH get his long sought after dog - you instantly caved on not being the one to care for it. Why isn’t your DH taking it for all its pees?

Your DH really has it made with you. He not only gets the thing you don’t want, and makes you sick, he gets you to do the hard work for it too.

I'm allergic to dogs and cats, but live fine with ours as long as I don't touch my eyes - it takes a while but you do generally build up a tolerence to your own pets. I still can't go anywhere near a horse without a trip to A&E though.

It does rather sound as if you are your partner's obedient pet @Doggynono

Try to develop an allergy to the awful creature you're living with (and no, I don't mean the dog).

Yep, it really works.

I was allergic to one of my Lakeland terriers, for some reason, and it worked a treat.

They do a version for people with cat allergies, too.

Unfortunately antihistamines dont work long term though, eventually you build up a tolerance and then need to take a break from them.

This dog is 1/4 cocker spaniel which is distinctly not in ANY way hypoallergenic. You really played Russian roulette with the genetics on this. There was no way to say this specific puppy won’t take on more traits from the “cock” part of the mongrel mix the even some of its litter mates. Profoundly badly planned and the one suffering the most besides OP will be the dog.

Stood outside in the freezing cold waiting for the dog to pee. He’s trained her well.

Rehoming DH might be cheaper!

Apart from the allergies @Doggynono you should have really discussed who was going to be training and walking the dog because as you said your partner works shifts so it's highly likely you will be left with the care and walking, etc. Did you factor this in?

I’m allergic to dogs but grew up with them, so it didn’t really show until I went to uni, came back after a few weeks and woosh! However, my tolerance came back, it takes time to build. Keep to some rules like no dog on the bed. Use fexofenadine rather than a weaker anti histamine. Nasal rinses, Vaseline round your nose and things like the Toynbee technique if itchy ears. Good luck!

They aren't air conditioners, they just run fans, no cooling mechanism. So don't point the fan towards you (most point at the ceiling).

Your relationship sounds awful and another for rehoming him- allergies aside you are now doing everything and he clearly isn’t taking his responsibilities to train the dog seriously at all

For The allergies go to the doctors get strong antihistamines- an old boss of mine was allergic and really wanted a dog and went on heavy duty anti histamine

couple of things prescriptions cost and the finances in your relationship seem well off from what you have said and not in your favour.

secondly she did pick a hypoallergenic dog

Daugher is allergic but grew up with cats and dogs and was always fine - Off she went to Uni when she came back this winter her allergies went nuts - Cat loves her bed sleeps on there when she is not there ( we have a isolating sheet that goes on when she is away) . We got a Phillips air purifier and it really did help - disadvangage is that it blows cold ar . Daily we opened all windows aired the house - after about a week she noticed an improvement and a tollerence .

I know a couple and this happened. He chose the dog 😮

Tells you everything if that happens, more reason to walk away...