New puppy...

[Doggynono]

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

NO decent breeder will ever let a puppy go until after January 6. so many unwanted puppies are bought at Christmas time and then the shelters start filling up around February. These are not things that you just acquire on a whim. This is a living breathing sentient being and you have clearly not thought this through.

This is hugely irresponsible of you and if you do decide to rehome the poor thing, please do your due diligence this time and make sure it goes to a family that can actually cope with what they’ve decided to take on.

Good God, get a backbone OP!!
You don’t need to look after the dog today, you made it clear you’d have nothing to do with it, so WHY back down again?? Why are you putting your health at risk to comply with your partner and children? Madness 😵‍💫🙄

You don't have to justify yourself OP, your DH wanted the dog for the kids so you've every right to expect the kids to take some responsibility.
It's good that she potentially has a home with your sister if it comes to that. Another pitfall of getting a pet over Christmas is that the realities and practicalities of caring for her don't come to light until you are all back at work and school.

The OP was brow beaten into it, she knew it wasn't a good idea but the husband and kids wanted the pup and wouldn't listen.

The OP has already said that the pup potentially has a home with her sister of it comes down to it.

The husband was stupid to fork out £800 on a very cross bred dog that was never going to be hypoallergenic!

So an overpriced mongrel, then? Though Maltese and poodles are pretty low allergenically, cocker spaniels aren't. Too late for you, but PLEASE people stop paying good money for these made-up crossbreeds, you could buy a KC registered dog of a pure breed from a reputable breeder for the same amount.

Her opening line is she’s not really a dog person…. Then don’t get a flipping dog.!!! I’m sorry but no one forced her to do it. She said she “caved”. Who is going to walk and train this dog while they’re all out at work?

I can’t see where it says it is a cross breed although I can work out what kind of crossbreed she got. Again zero sympathy; do your homework before getting a sentient being into your home. thick do you have to be to not do your research and understand how many unwanted dogs end up in shelters due to poor decision-making?

You don't need to tell me but I find it bizarre that you are putting all the blame on the OP and seemingly have no issue with the people that pushed her into it! The husband should have known it was a no no too! He bought a maltipoo x cockerpoo so there's three different breeds in there!
I don't share your animosity that the OP is entirely at fault.

Poor puppy. Totally irresponsible of you and your DP to get her in the first place! You get no sympathy from me.

That sounds the fairest to all of you OP. You for your health. The puppy to be with an owner who can look after it and enjoy without being unwell. For your children's sake you need to decide ASAP, the longer you wait the harder and more unfair it is.

Question is what are you going to do about your selfish, rude and unkind partner? He's behaved atrociously here, pressuring you into this and treating you like shit for being ill when he knew it would make you so. That's not a keeper, that's someone you should really think about how his behaviour is to you, to the kids and what he's modeling to the kids as well.

And yes, you caved under pressure, you really need to look at why and find ways to say no. Mumsnet has a ton of examples, just Google 🤣.

I suspect your dps behaviour plays a big part, aside from the obvious in the puppy instance, as to why you caved.

The OP has agency and control in this world. The wee pup doesn't.

She is an adult, responsible enough for her and her children. If she didn't want an animal she should have said no. Not allowed a poor, defenceless creature to pay the price for her weakness.

People with allergies are more likely to develop allergies to new things. So your DC with hay fever is high risk to develop a dog allergy too with constant exposure.

I think you’re kidding yourself, this isn’t going to work. Rehome the dog now, the longer you leave it the harder it’s going to be

Do you have that same attitude for such as domestic abuse victims that struggle to leave the situation? People aren't robots and if the OP is being guilt tripped into thinking she's ruinimg her kids childhoods etc!

So firstly theres no such thing as a "hypoallergenic" dog. No such thing exists.
Secondly, m allergic to dogs, i have two (allergic to other animals which i also have because evidently im a sadist 😂). Over the counter allergy tablets dont work for me, they just arent strong enough. I get regular prescriptions from the doctor. I have built up a sort of tolerance/immunity to my own dogs over the years we have had them so it is possible it will settle down but until then, get properly medicated.

Anyone selling the result of breeding two crossbreeds for £800 and attempting to pass the parents off as actual breeds are hardly going to be honest though.

It was bought from a dodgy breeder of mixed mutts... It was NEVER going to be a decent breeder... 🤷‍♀️

Sorry op, your husband is a dick. He’s prioritising a dog he just got over his wife’s health and life. You’re taking 2 antihistamine a day and still struggling. Allergies are life threatening and allergies can get worse with repeated exposure. They don’t get better. And your husband is getting angry at YOU? What kind of selfish twat is he? He’s certainly showing you he no longer loves you or cares for you. I would be telling him it’s time for a divorce. It’s the dog or you. And mean it. Staying alive is important for you!

Sorry all been a busy few days.

I got stronger antihistamines from the doctor and they are working brilliantly. Yes I didn't want a dog but we got her and she is lovely. She will be staying now that these are working I never wanted to rehome her I didn't want to be one of those people who got a dog for the Christmas present then got fed up after a while. The DP really stepped up the last few days and has been doing all the middle of the night and toilet trips and early mornings

we have really knuckled down and got her in a little routine and all is going well. He was a knob the first few days but I think we were both tired and over whelmed we genuinely are living having her now thank you all for the concern and the advice!

Long may it continue.
All the best, OP.

Good to hear it is going better! It is a huge adjustment getting a dog for the first time. I think many new owners underestimate it. All the best for the future! :-)

In the interim while you decide what to do there are certain foods you feed the dog that are meant to help if you are allergic to them. Speak to vet for advice about feeding and grooming to reduce allergies and see the GP about stronger antihistamines for you.

Obviously the decision wasn't a good one and there's tough decisions to be made now about the long term. Only you and DH can resolve them.

Maybe let him know you want to have an open conversation about solutions without any anger or resentment and want to be solution focused. Set a time and date to have the conversation to give you both thinking time about how to approach and what the key issues are so you are calm by the time you arrive at the conversation.

Hope you manage to find a way forward one way or the other.

Oh I've just seen the update. Glad things are looking up. Definitely discuss the food with the vets though as it really worked for a friend of mine who took on her mother's dog after she died but was allergic.

Glad things are improving! It really is worth trying Petal Cleanse on her as well.

Well done for persevering. Sorry if we gave you a hard time.😋 Pity more people dont persevere. Good luck. Come back and give us updates.

My family and I rehomed a dog from the pound as the owners son was allergic. We had a happy life with that dog and he died of old age/dementia at 14. He was the love of my life. But it was hard knowing he had been rejected and he had anxiety/reactivity after being shut away and not being properly socialised with anyone😕 as the allergy was so severe. They didn't try hard enough with him. So it sounds like you're doing everything you can, OP. And don't underestimate how stressful, tiring and life upending getting a puppy is. We got one about 6 months ago and we both found it harder than having our baby (who is now a teenager, haha)

So glad you've got new medication. It's worth a go for you and your family. Hope it works out