Worried about the man I’ve been seeing

[whyisnothingsimple]

I’ve been seeing someone for 17 months - long distance a 2hr drive away. I mainly go to him as we do a hobby together where he lives. We see one another every 2 weeks or so. Recently he has not replied to messages for several days . We both live alone and, apart from this hobby, doesn’t do much else - I have family very near. He hasn’t replied to my message on Saturday - messaged today to ask if he is ok - not read so tried to phone - again no reply so left a voice message asking him to let me know he’s ok. He would normally do the hobby this afternoon - I know someone who also attends at the same time - would it be unreasonable to contact her to ask if he is there? He hates drama as do I but I’m getting really worried - it could be that he’s just ghosting me and don’t want to involve others if that is the case.

Depends on the phone surely? My work phone is a Motorola and I only need to charge it once a week.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to check in with the mutual friend OP, I’d be worried too.

If his phone was on charge when he died then it would.

If you can’t see he’s been online anywhere I’d check he’s ok somehow OP

I’ve looked back at our messages over the past month or two - it’s not unusual for him to take a few days to message but I’ll contact mutual friend and ask her not to tell him - she is his friend more than mine but hopefully she’ll keep it quiet

Yes we both are

Good point. I'm so dim! I didn't think of that. I'm an idiot 🙄

Message sent

Definitely check with friend. Chances are he’s fine in which case you might both be embarrassed. But if he’s not the consequences of ignoring it are much worse

You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Either he’s ghosting you after 17 months in which case he should be embarrassed or he is hurt and you are a decent person who cares. Hope he’s ok and there is a decent explanation. Although it sounds like this relationship may have run its course for you anyway.

Yes it probably has for me truthfully

I was going to say he is dating someone but a 66 year old man, Id be worried too.

I think you’ve made the right decision. I’d like to hope someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a year and a half wouldn’t suddenly ghost you, especially not at his age! But the alternative could mean he’s hurt which isn’t a nice thought either.

I am sure the friend will be discreet - and if it turns out he’s not there, you’ll know it was the right thing to do.

I’m 68 and have been single for 11 years but dating during that time - trust me - it makes no difference - men can behave badly no matter how old they are!

Probably said already, but are you 100% he hasn't already got a partner, family etc

Can you let us know if he's okay, Op? Am worried about him too now.

Hope you get a response soon.

Absolutely not - I stay with him for several days whenever I visit - very single

I will - sent message to friend 20 minutes ago

I live near my family - he lives 2 hours away and has no family near him - my family check in on me regularly - in fact we share our location - as my son says I’m getting old and he’s checking on his inheritance! !

Update - he’s at the hobby with friend now - he’s alive thank goodness - will need to think hard about all this - friend says she’ll contact me later when home

Gosh. So he ghosted you

What a twat. Thank goodness for the friend’s response.

Ghost him right back OP. Never communicate with him in any way ever again. Guarantee he won't like that. 💐

Oddly that’s what his ex called him - yes will be interesting to see what friend says