Sister is angry over a car

[Mon85]

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

Have you asked for an explanation of why she is upset about it? It makes no sense to me

My advice would be to let the absolute knob carry on making a tit of herself and get on with your own life. You really want to make things "right" with someone who would cut their own sister and her babies out over a CAR?! Ignore it all completely and spend your time and effort on the family that are actually nice.

She has ignored me on the occasion I sent the scan photo (I thought it was going to be an ice breaker so we could talk about it ) and another occasion after that my husband contacted her husband and he was told he couldn’t reply because he wasn’t allowed to. Family that have had a chat with her have told me that I have copied her and she doesn’t like being copied

You can’t reason with crazy, OP

Wow how ridiculous. Is she prone to jealousy? Or do you frequently buy the same things as her?

She has a very comfortable life, she’s always had the best of everything and I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t like the fact we can afford the same as her? She’s always liked being above everyone. Never really bought the same as her before, there is 10 years between us so almost always been at different stages in life!

That’s absolutely bonkers, who gives a crap about that sort of thing. A bloody car! I’d just ignore it but if you want to be in touch with her then apologise and have a conversation about why it means so much to her.

Hmm I think I would leave her to it. I have two dsis. One gets really jealous. The other likes to be in charge. As they’ve got older they’ve got worse. Divorce and the menopause took their toll. She might be more reasonable in a few years’ time.

Just move on

Your sister has issues that you can’t solve.

I once pulled up to the supermarket and my sister happened to be there as well. She was in her new car. The exact same make, model, year, and color as mine. I just laughed.

She sounds unhinged, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for, she can whistle for it, even if apologizing means "keeping the peace" bollocks to that, why should she hold everyone to ransom? She's acting like a bloody 5 year old..

My dad has the same car as me. I love mine so much I recommended it to him when he was buying a new one. Because that’s what normal people do.

I would not apologise, I would leave her and be thankful about not having to have any involvement with her.

So what if you have the same car! She's bat-shit. At one point four of my siblings had minis. Every family get-together there were jokes about The Italian Job. No one cared.

What a freak. I think you’re better off just leaving her alone. She doesn’t sound like a sister that’s worth having. If she never talks to you again, it sounds like it would be a good thing. She doesn’t deserve you as a sister. I wouldn’t let her back in your life if she’s prepared to ignore the birth of your child over something so pathetically ridiculous.

How could you copy off her if you didn't even buy the car?

She's acting like she created the car herself and you copied her newfangled invention. 🙄

Has anyone mentioned menopause?

Loopy Lou is your sister.
Did you also name the child after her? Ha ha ha

Forgive yourself.
Don't dwell on the insulting way DSis is behaving.
She might just crack out of it one day.
Be ready to forget the whole thing if that happens.

Try not to feel offended and carry it on for years more. It is so uncomfortable for the whole family, not just you.
Enjoy your young children.

Does she have a history of mental health issues?
I bet she's lost a good amount of friends and family if that's how she reacts to such non-events. Unbelievable her husband hasn't divorced her and her daughter still speaks to her. No loss there for you though, she's done you a favour.

She is trying to pin this whole thing on me.

Believe me OP, there is no "thing".

Have your family told her that she's ridiculous? Or is this yet another bizarre thread where everyone pussyfoots around unforgivable behaviour because they "don't want to get involved" or want to "keep the peace?

My blood pressure rises just reading this shit.

I hate to break it to your sister but if she doesn’t like ‘being copied’ she probably also needs to get over the fact tens of thousands of people probably bought the same car this year too.

Even premium cars aren’t special - literally thousands of people but then every year.

Batshit crazy.

Family that have had a chat with her have told me that I have copied her and she doesn’t like being copied

This reminds me of being 14 and seeing my classmates accusing each other of copying them by having similar rucksacks. Because if two girls in a small town bought identical Adidas bags, it couldn't possibly be due to coincidence 🙄. Is your sister a bit unusual in other ways too? Or, could she be envious of your pregnancies and looking for an excuse to reduce contact? Despite her "comfortable life", she doesn't sound very happy.

Unhinged and batshit.
Take this as a win.
You shouldn't want that type of crazy near your children.
Infact I would from now on refer to her with batshit as a prefix to her name.
You cannot reason with narcissistic behaviour like that.

She sounds nuts. Leave her to it. Do you really want someone so unhinged around your children anyway?

Are you sure she’s 50 and not 13?