Sister is angry over a car

[Mon85]

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

@Mon85You’ve hit the nail on the head when you say she doesn’t like that you can afford the same things she can. She’s been ‘alpha’ female and her self worth appears to be based on material status symbols. To you, it’s just a car. To her, it’s a mark of her superior social standing within the family. It’s sad that she’s taken this stance with you. Just step away and leave her be. Hopefully she’ll realise she’s being unreasonable.

So no one else in the family is allowed to own a Range Rover because she has one? She sounds mentally unwell and needs help!!

Omg.. stay away. She needs help. Do not apologise. You have done nothing. Let her fet on with it...its her loss. Its pathetic. It sounds to me like pure jealousy.

There's more to this than just the car.
That's a definite.

Whether it's a life wobble (most likely), relationship issues, sibling rivalry or more. There will be layers to this (ref. Onion. Shrek).

Honestly, I know know it hurts, but some people are just totally irrational and unbalanced and you can't reason with them. The fact that her husband does what he's told and "isn't allowed" to speak to you speaks volumes as to the ridiculous level of control she needs to exert. Try to forget about it and content yourself with your own lovely little family and those of your family members who are not raving lunatics (presumably they can see that she's being totally unreasonable?). Let her stew in her own juice, as the saying goes! She's actually the one who's missing out on all these lovely family moments.

What childish behaviour!

Absolutely her problem. Not yours.

It sounds like you need to step back, live your life... Whether copying her or exceeding her perception of her life and your copying....and NOT ask after or try to engage with her either directly or indirectly.

She needs space. You're siblings and at some point ...it might take years (she's got to replace that car at some point, eh 😉?)....she will realise, and perhaps, she will reach out in her way and time.

Focus on yourself, your family, your husband, children.... I'd say learn to drive...that car! 😉😘🤩😍 You're missing a trick.

You be you. You live your life.
Don't let anyone tell you how you and your life should be. And what you should and shouldn't be doing.
Caveat: as long as it's not wilfully harming/hurting anyone else or illegal 😉

Spoiler alert: The car is available for too many people to buy. Sadly, your sister has likely copied someone else first.

My sil is like this to the point I dont ever want to go to her house. If I cant see her shit, she cant accuse me of copying 🤣 she thinks she can gate keep colours it's that bad. God forbid i wear the same colour i last seen her in 🤣🤣🤣

my thoughts exactly, why go crazy over a car?

This! Even if she had the right to be annoyed that you have the same sort of car (which she doesn't), the over reaction to it is a whole level of bat shittery in itself. You owe no apology to anyone, but she does to you for how she has behaved.

Is your DHs car brand new or a later year than hers? So she no longer has the best car in the family?
But batshit crazy regardless…

What a weirdo she is! Does she want an apology from everybother owner? Did she ask the dealership to stop selling the car after ahe bought hers? What a Hyacinth Bucket she sounds.

Thinking about The Fast Show and the man who is 'Considerably richer than yow' when his brother turns up in a newer Mercedes and is outraged.

You can choose your friend's but not family.
If you apologise without fully knowing why then that will always compromise your relationship with her.
Your only hope is that she wakes up one day and realises this is a non issue. You would be the best judge as to whether this would happen.
It is sad but she is losing out.
You are not in control of her actions.
Enjoy 2026.
If she wishes to come round she will, you have done nothing wrong.
We all should be reminded of the fragility of relationships.

Your sister is in menopause territory, so she may either have hormone, or lack of hormone, brain which can make some people unreasonably angry over stupid things, like a car, or she's having a regular mental breakdown and needs psychiatric help. Either way, "she ain't right in the head." Send her the link to this thread so she can at least have a real reason to be upset.

She don't sound quite right in the head.

Sounds like she was waiting for an excuse. It's not about the car, it's not even about you.

Then it’s not actually about the car, and that must be obvious to absolutely everyone involved - loads of people have Range Rovers.

I was imagining that the car would be a very specific dream car from her childhood for this kind of reaction to be justified - like in the Italian Job where the guy buys all the exact models of cars and luxury items the other characters were planning to spend their share of the heist money on.

Honestly, OP, whatever’s going on with your DSis, it doesn’t sound like there’s anything you can do about it (although I would be tempted to trade in the Range Rover for something hugely ostentatious in her favourite colour just for fun at this point..).

Please send her a link to this thread…..

She’s bonkers .
If my sister showed up in the same car we have currently I would be “ oh wow it’s great isn’t it , so comfy to drive etc , goes a fair distance before needing charged etc “
I even laugh if my sister or SILs show up in the same top or dress and we would probably even take photos 😂

If this bothers you then you're as bonkers as she is. Nothing you nor your husband can do about this. Just see it as ridiculous - because that's what it is. I'd just send birthday and Christmas cards etc as usual. No apology, no grovelling, no arguing, no bad mouthing her. You are the adult in this.

This makes no sense. She sounds bonkers I've got a sister who's bonkers too & was finally forced to no nc for my own sanity!

If you can afford it, change your car for a higher spec model!

She is special, so much better and high achieving than everyone else....except now she isnt. You have stepped out of your box as the "poor younger sister who would love to be like me".

Pathetic.

Frankly I woudnt give it another thought and if anyone else mentions it simply roll your eyes and say that you will not be talking about it anymore and you wont be apologising for buying a car that suits your needs and your family just to appease her insecurity.

She wants to sulk? Let her! If she continues to bully her husband like that she may find that the high life comes to end before long.......

We can have a whip-round…