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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is angry over a car

285 replies

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

OP posts:
liamharha · 30/12/2025 08:42

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:51

She has a very comfortable life, she’s always had the best of everything and I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t like the fact we can afford the same as her? She’s always liked being above everyone. Never really bought the same as her before, there is 10 years between us so almost always been at different stages in life!

She's a lunatic ,noone needs this in their lives .
Leave her to it ,she will end a lonely old woman if she carries on with such ridiculousness and your family should be telling her to give her head a wobble

WonderingWanda · 30/12/2025 08:43

I just wanted to add to the long list of people agreeing that your sister is entirely unreasonable (and maybe a bit crackers). Your dh did nothing wrong in buying the same car. Do not under any circumstances apologise to her. Feel free to send her a letter letting her know how disappointed you are that she has chosen to create a childish feud out of nothing but that it is her loss as she is missing out on meeting her nephew.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 30/12/2025 08:44

Send her stats on car sales with the stats relating to this particular car highlighted.

Siriusmuggle · 30/12/2025 08:47

That’s nuts. My niece bought the same car as me, I can’t explain how little it matters. We both chose a sensible and reliable car that suits our needs.

Tollington · 30/12/2025 08:52

I’d just forget her. Your DH apologising is crazy

She sounds unhinged

ReallyNeedtoGetSh1TSorted2026 · 30/12/2025 08:56

Members of your family should love you, and should have higher standards of behaviour when it comes to their own family.

My SIL bought the same car as me. I give no shits.

Stop spending energy trying to fix this, you are feeding the narcissist. Just ignore her, and spend your energy on you and your DC. Have a great life and let her boil in her own broth.

HectorPlasm · 30/12/2025 08:58

To echo what people have said, you can't argue with loopy. What does she add to your life?

Thatweegirl · 30/12/2025 09:04

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:51

She has a very comfortable life, she’s always had the best of everything and I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t like the fact we can afford the same as her? She’s always liked being above everyone. Never really bought the same as her before, there is 10 years between us so almost always been at different stages in life!

Bingo! I would bet anything that this is the issue.
I have a sister who has pulled similar stunts and everyone panders to her. It's like her moods control the whole family.

I strongly suspect Narcissistic personality disorder with her and have learned to keep my distance, and pass myself with her.

I would strongly recommend that you try to do the same OP. Most likely she will eventually decide that she 'forgives you' and all will be well again until the next time. Because there will be a next time.

If she is anything like my sister she thrives on the attention and the drama, so don't give it to her.

It seems batshit crazy to people who don't have someone like this in their family. And in fairness it is!

NearlyMonday · 30/12/2025 09:09

Blaming the menopause gives her a get-out clause for atrocious behaviour

SunnyViper · 30/12/2025 09:14

What utter batshit. Sounds like you are better off with her out of your life. I wouldn’t tolerate any level of that entitled behaviour.

RampantIvy · 30/12/2025 09:15

NearlyMonday · 30/12/2025 09:09

Blaming the menopause gives her a get-out clause for atrocious behaviour

And gives women of a certain age a poor reputation. None of my friends who struggled with the menopause have behaved like this.

The menopause is just a poor excuse, not a reason.

KnottyKnitting · 30/12/2025 09:17

You can’t argue with batshit- does she have form for this type of nonsense?

Aplstrudl · 30/12/2025 09:18

Your sister has some serious issues if she’s really like this. I’d ignore her and never apologise as she’s just bonkers.

Parsleyforme · 30/12/2025 09:21

She sounds like a child. Is there much point reconciling when she will probably do this to you again over something else? I can’t imagine you had a perfect relationship with her and this is the first time she’s done something like this. She is the one who’s missing out, you are in contact with her daughter so still have that connection. I think your life is probably a bit easier without the drama, she will learn eventually that jealousy, immaturity and petty grudges don’t achieve anything at her age (or will continue to be mad and you’ll be glad you don’t have to deal with it)

NotTerfNorCis · 30/12/2025 09:27

That's really odd behaviour on her part! Is it an unusual type of car?

Anonanonay · 30/12/2025 09:42

Just be happy this level of crazy is out of your life.

IstillloveKingThistle · 30/12/2025 09:51

Unless there is another side of this story ( I do believe you, op) then your sister has got serious issues that quite frankly, you’re better off away from.

My sister, my only sibling- 12 years older than me, has grade 4 brain cancer .
We are devastated.

Your sister is bat shit and clearly out to cause trouble. She needs to also wake up and smell the coffee if that’s all she has to grumble over .

Please detach yourself from this shit and complete and utter nonsense.
Because that’s what it is : nonsense.

Ladybridgerton25 · 30/12/2025 09:53

Why on earth would you want this person in your life? Be thankful she’s made an absolute tit of herself, looks pathetic and has gone no contact off her own back and enjoy your lovely family. This is the kind of person you don’t need in your life she will only continue to get worse as she gets older. She is completely unhinged if she is sulking because you own the same car as her.

PinkyFlamingo · 30/12/2025 09:56

Stop trying to understand and just stop trying! Shes crazy.

Lurkingandlearning · 30/12/2025 09:57

I’m glad you at least still see your niece. It says a lot about her character that she won’t be drawn into her mother’s nonsense.

Shame your BIL can’t do the same because he could probably do with as many normal people in his life as possible as a buffer for your sister’s nuttiness.

Notmyreality · 30/12/2025 10:04

Why do people insist on trying to find some kind of explanation to justify this kind of behaviour? It’s the menopause etc..no it isn’t. She’s a bitch. That simple. She likes to be seen as better than is having more money than everyone else in the family. Under no circumstances would I apologise. I would happily point out to her face that the car is very common, wasn’t even that expensive and you could easily have gotten a more expensive one..

Sam9769 · 30/12/2025 10:05

TheatricalLife · 30/12/2025 00:41

My advice would be to let the absolute knob carry on making a tit of herself and get on with your own life. You really want to make things "right" with someone who would cut their own sister and her babies out over a CAR?! Ignore it all completely and spend your time and effort on the family that are actually nice.

Well said!

TheHillIsMine · 30/12/2025 10:06

I had a falling out with someone but the time she ignored my child put the full stop on any future contact with me.

Move on. She's ignored your baby being born. She'd rather have her tantrum than enjoy her niece or nephew. Game over.

Sam9769 · 30/12/2025 10:07

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:44

She has ignored me on the occasion I sent the scan photo (I thought it was going to be an ice breaker so we could talk about it ) and another occasion after that my husband contacted her husband and he was told he couldn’t reply because he wasn’t allowed to. Family that have had a chat with her have told me that I have copied her and she doesn’t like being copied

She sounds like a nut case.
Forget about her and get on with your life!
Don't waste any more mental energy on this controlling idiot!

Sometimeswinning · 30/12/2025 10:11

Notmyreality · 30/12/2025 10:04

Why do people insist on trying to find some kind of explanation to justify this kind of behaviour? It’s the menopause etc..no it isn’t. She’s a bitch. That simple. She likes to be seen as better than is having more money than everyone else in the family. Under no circumstances would I apologise. I would happily point out to her face that the car is very common, wasn’t even that expensive and you could easily have gotten a more expensive one..

Which model car is it? I didn’t think the op had said.

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