Will be reported to SS for teddy in cot if I go ahead

[Simplydressed]

My baby is 6 months and teething. It's horrible for her and she's clearly in pain. She's on calpol etc. but I've found that she seems comforted by having a stuffed bear in her cot with her.

Now I know advice is 12 months and while she is pretty good and moving things away from her face she still isn't able to take a blanket off her face fully unaided and can't roll over (only side to back)

My friend says I am insane to risk it. Im a bad parent if I do and she feels she'd need to 'tell someone' as clearly I am unable to consider risk appropriately.

While I get where shes coming from I just feel awful taking the soft yoy away when it brings baby comfort.

So I suppose,

Aibu to consider letting my 6 month old have a teddy in their cot?

Whatever you do stop talking to the friend

I can see why you're tempted but I wouldn't.

Yes you would be unreasonable. Better in temporary pain than permanently dead.

Take it out once she's gone to sleep. Your friend is crazy if she thinks anyone would be remotely interested

Shes 6 months so presumably youre sat with her until shes asleep anyway? Just take it out and sit it in sight once she falls asleep.

Stop speaking to this friend. Shes not your friend and throughout your whole friendship she will be keeping score on you - and will gras you up to SS for anything and everything.

Regarding the Teddy. They're too young at this age to get comfort from something like this, so i wouldnt risk it at night - but it also wouldnt be the end of the world.

I doubt she feels comforted by having the toy in her cot. It has probably been coincidence. I've no idea how dangerous it is so don't want to comment on that part. But you need to tell your friend less she seems to like drama.

I hope she phones social services. Christmas is a bloody hard time for social workers and the idea that she's phoning to report a teddy in a cot would give them a bloody good laugh.

Could you let her have it while she's falling asleep, then move it out of the cot without waking her?

Though I assume it's hyperbolic, SS or anyone else will not care. Your Health visitor might advise against it, but advise isn't mandatory.

I would have the teddy (as long as it’s not ginormous?!)

YABU to think a teddy would be of any particular benefit when teething. A teething ring would be more helpful, and less of a suffocation risk (which I’ll admit is tiny but still not insignificant).

Your friend if mental to think social services would give a damn about this though.

This

Let her fall asleep with it, op, then take it off her once shes down. But this person is not your friend and secretly hates you x

I wouldn’t see your friend any more but I would follow safe sleep advice.

A HV also wouldn’t get involved on someone else’s say so. You can’t report someone’s to the HVs. We can’t even contact parents at a GP’s request unless they have recorded that the parent consents.

That's not a friend. Please get her out of your life. Guidance is helpful but you should be able to use your own judgement on these things. As a PP said, perhaps move it out of reach once baby is asleep? At 6 months the risk is vanishingly tiny.

This ‘someone’ that she will tell would only be interested in this information if your baby actually did die and there was an inquest.

It’s not a good idea to discuss the minute details of what you are going to do or not do with this woman as she seems quite judgmental.

However I would not put a cuddly toy in the cot of a six month old baby and I don’t think your baby is comforted by having a toy in her cot.

I absolutely wouldn’t- it’s really not worth the risk. But no, SS are not going to come knocking.

That’s not a thing. Most people put their babies in the cot and then they leave.

If baby isn’t rolling/moving can’t you just put it out of reach?

I’m guessing it’s a teddy that plays music/has a light?

I agree with @Sprogonthetyneabout sitting with her until she falls asleep.

The Lullaby Trust is the safe sleeping charity and you might find the advice you need on there.

I'd also been having second thoughts on your friendship

Thank you for your replies, they are really useful.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I didn't think to let her fall asleep with it then take it out 😳I will try that.

The only thing is sometimes she will stir and winge a bit. Not full on crying or anything and only a couple of squeeks from her but during these moments I don't immediately go straight in to her to see if she will settle. I was thinking the teddy seems to help her soothe and actually might unsettle her less cause I wont need to go in and wake her fully iyswim.

I think you're right though, its a risk evening a low-ish one and id rather have some upset than no baby at all.

My friend is a bit like this with everything. Nothing seems to be correct and i'm always having the baby too hot/too cold etc. She's never threatened SS before though.

It literally would be the end of the world for little one, that’s the issue isn’t it?

high stakes for small gains.

Just to clear up a couple of things.

It's a teddy that she cuddles. It's soft but about half her size.

She has teething rings of all different varieties but will not use one at night. She's also refusing a pacifier, I presume because her gums hurt.

She has a breathing teddy thing that goes in one end of her cot either above her head or feet. She wouldn't be able to get near it. Her cot is a full size cot so pretty big (can convert to a toddler bed) and she can't move enough to get her head/face at the top or bottom of the crib.

Oh and she does sleep in her own room but with a monitor and the room although now divided with a thin wall used to be part of my bedroom, so shes not far away.

I think friend is upset with this also.

By breathing teddy, do you mean it’s like a white noise machine? My baby has one of these, like a Ewan the Dream Sheep. Or do you mean the material is breathable?