Will be reported to SS for teddy in cot if I go ahead

[Simplydressed]

My baby is 6 months and teething. It's horrible for her and she's clearly in pain. She's on calpol etc. but I've found that she seems comforted by having a stuffed bear in her cot with her.

Now I know advice is 12 months and while she is pretty good and moving things away from her face she still isn't able to take a blanket off her face fully unaided and can't roll over (only side to back)

My friend says I am insane to risk it. Im a bad parent if I do and she feels she'd need to 'tell someone' as clearly I am unable to consider risk appropriately.

While I get where shes coming from I just feel awful taking the soft yoy away when it brings baby comfort.

So I suppose,

Aibu to consider letting my 6 month old have a teddy in their cot?

Did your so called scaremongering 'friend' ever have any children of her own I wonder?
Maybe you could perhaps let her have teddy and when she falls asleep take him away
I also think your 'friend' may have a touch of the green-eye about her.....

I’m sorry but are you insane? Block and cut contact with this lunatic before she escalates any further. Protect your child from her.

I have none of this for my sisters children. My mother in law doesn’t have this for her own grandchildren.

This is completely outside the realms of normality for a “friend”.

The woman has some serious issues. Please cut all contact with her. She’s an absolute loon.

I would personally not have a teddy in the cot at that age, I do believe it could be dangerous.

Social services are 100% not going to care about this though and your friend sounds like a shit friend, that would be the friendship over for me.

This is abnormal. Ditch the ‘friend’

You could try giving a small cotton muslin instead. It’s breathable if they put it over their face and can be used for sucking on if they’re looking for comfort.
We have used one since our baby was 3 months (now 1yr), it’s a bit of a sleep crutch, she sucks on it and often sleeps with it over her face too. We had no problems with her overnight when teething. It was a tip from the sleep trainer we used.

It was all done in a really nice way and writing it out has shown red flags.

For instance, the play corner was for when we went round so I could relax and not worry about baby being distressed with no appropriate toys/space. That it would be nice as baby grows to feel at home there.

The clothes started as just in case baby has an accident and then just picking up bits she thought I'd like.

Food was so she had something when we went over to visit just in case, and so I didn't have to worry about bringing loads of stuff.

It was all made out to be kindness and just being a good friend, but it looks different when it's all written out.

I can promise you I'm not insane. It was all so slowly it just seemed normal, until it didn't.

Social services would probably be confused about why anyone is calling them to report a teddy in a cot. (And yes I do understand the safe sleep recommendations!)

Your friend sounds as though she could be mentally ill. The way she is behaving is very extreme and transgresses a lot of social boundaries most people would feel awkward about yet she seems to feel that what she has to say is more important. That is not normal. The internet probably isn't helping her with this: https://www.cartoonshateher.com/p/if-you-didnt-have-postpartum-anxiety

Please do your own risk assessment and make your own decision. You are absolutely capable of and entitled to do that with your own child. People are also allowed to make non-perfect decisions. We all balance risk and assess each day. Remember that until about 20 years ago babies had comforters and all kinds of suffocation hazards in their cots, and most of them did not suffocate. That doesn't mean you should ignore all advice, it just means think about it logically and with a degree of reason. There is no benefit and only risk in putting a large teddy into a newborn's cot - for an older baby who could actually receive some comfort from it, the trade off is less clear. So make the choice you think is right, not your friend.

Friend sounds a bit unhinged. Is there something else going on here ?

Teddy is fine in cot. Ditch the friend

I'm going to try this and tie the knots in it like a previous poster suggested as well. Thank you

This.

Sounds like a way OTT threat to me. I don't even recall no soft toys in cot being a rule, bumpers yes, I remember the constant controversy and I still wonder why they are marketed, but hysteria over soft toys has surprised me. I've probably just forgotten because my kids are all over 10. Cuski's are marketed as safe for sleep from birth, I imagine there are other brands too that are breathable and safe?

You’re doing fine op.

Great decision to ditch the friend.

Agree with PPs that ibuprofen is great for teeth as is anbesol liquid. Bonjela will do fuck all.

DC2 is teething and i whack some anbesol on there any time of day when she is getting cranky and it does help.

Have you ever watched Single White Female? Appreciate you maybe none of those things, but my only instinct after reading this is to say RUN!!! 👀

Your friend is a lunatic. Who threatens a friend with social services for a question over a teddy in a cot.

It was made very clear to us to be there for all sleeps including naps until 6m. Whether people follow that or not is entirely up to them, but it's not "not a thing", it's the current nhs advice

This has actually brought back memories - when DC1 was very small, probably about 6mo, my partner at the time kept bringing this girl back to our house. I say girl because she was very young, we all were, I was only about 20 and she was 18 or 19 I think. I can't even remember how she knew my ex any more.

She had had an abortion the year before under pressure from her parents and was deeply upset/traumatised by this and had never processed it. She was basically on a self-destruct mission to get pregnant again ASAP with whoever would have her. I am fairly sure my ex was sleeping with her (the relationship was not fantastic) and I felt sorry for her and didn't mind her playing with DC etc or bringing him presents, but it all started to get weird when she would call him "My little X" or post on FB about "my" so-and-so or want to change him into the clothes she had bought etc. People would ask her if it was her niece/nephew etc. Anyway the whole thing was weird and I started to avoid seeing her because I found it too strange how territorial she would get around my baby. I felt awful for what she was going through, but it was her stuff to process - you don't get to just use someone's baby to do that.

I hope she did get help and support. I can't even remember her name. XP and I split up less than a year later so I was distracted with all that.

I’d try co-sleeping before the soft toy.

Baby is 6mths so no need to be there and can be safely in own room

Omg op She wants your baby I hope you get rid she’s definitely not a friend and so what if she sees this post it’s her odd behaviour in question not yours. Op this is a forum for advice that’s all you have done on here she will get mad if she realises but only because she’s in the wrong.

We found nurofen (baby ibuprofen) and anbesol much better than calpol, teething powders etc. Only used when necessary and for short periods but very effective

I didnt stay in with them from 8 weeks.

Dump this scary over stepping non friend. Listen to your husband.

Yes absolutely, just pointing out the advice for up to this age. We started leaving ours with a monitor just before 6m anyway as we made a risk judgement.