Will be reported to SS for teddy in cot if I go ahead

[Simplydressed]

My baby is 6 months and teething. It's horrible for her and she's clearly in pain. She's on calpol etc. but I've found that she seems comforted by having a stuffed bear in her cot with her.

Now I know advice is 12 months and while she is pretty good and moving things away from her face she still isn't able to take a blanket off her face fully unaided and can't roll over (only side to back)

My friend says I am insane to risk it. Im a bad parent if I do and she feels she'd need to 'tell someone' as clearly I am unable to consider risk appropriately.

While I get where shes coming from I just feel awful taking the soft yoy away when it brings baby comfort.

So I suppose,

Aibu to consider letting my 6 month old have a teddy in their cot?

This person is not your friend

Sometimes I wonder how the human race has survived so long without modern child rearing advice.

It’s scary to think this, OP, but if she’s like this over a teddy, what about when baby starts walking and falling over, bumping their head etc. I’d be mindful of what stories she could create then. This is her warning to you of what she is capable of. Believe what she’s showing you and leave the friendship. No woman should feel this territorial over another woman’s well looked after child. She is setting up a very weird and confusing dynamic for your child. She’s blurring a line. Your husband is spot on!

And this is why I only have one friend 🙃 people are dicks

That’s not really how it works. Friend sounds like a lunatic.

dear me. I am an older lady (58) and have never heard anything like it. This must be a new thing, all my kids had stuffed toys in their cots at night, my Son loved his teddy. I am definitely getting old....

No to the soft toy unless you are sat there with her and drop the insane friend, nothing good will come of this friendship.

I agree the friend doesn’t sound good and it would be wise to reduce contact with her. On the toy, we have what I think must be the same otter (my three month old was given it for Christmas) and I wouldn’t personally put it in the cot overnight even though I’m fairly relaxed about sleeping ‘rules’ in general. The innards are basically a hard plastic block and the cover on ours doesn’t stay on very well, I’m surprised they get away with marketing it as suitable from newborn given the safe sleep advice. It sounds like you’ve already had good advice about alternatives, I hope your daughter feels better soon and you’re all able to get some sleep.

I can't comment on the teddy as the advice on this was different when my children were babies.
But I can say that your friend is toxic. There's enough rivalry, judgement and one-upmanship among parents that you really don't need it from your so-called friends too. Ditch her before she erodes your self esteem completely.

Part of the reason Is that, like bumpers, they add warmth to the baby and baby can’t easily move away from things in the cot and overheating is a contributing factor to SIDS.

I can't see why she should not have the teddy. Take it away when she is asleep if you are worried.
Also, stop talking to stupid friend.

I so agree. I am amazed at the things parents worry about and what they think you should not do. Most of which will all be different in five years' time!

Hello friend!! If you are reading this thread , I hope you know you’re a muppet! A clown 🤡 too.

Hi friend 👋 give us your insight? Is there something you know that we don’t?

For goodness sake. Why are you even associating with this woman? Stop taking the baby to her house, stop telling her about anything to do with the baby, and start distancing yourself from her. If she threatens to go to social services, tell her to crack right on.

This thing is tiny, half the baby's size. It's not going to cause overheating.

Your friends insane and not a friend.

Re. Teddys my first had one from 4 weeks. HVs have seen it, doctors have seen it. Most have commented how that’s quite unusual for such a young baby to have such a connection and kind of looking in wonder rather than commenting on safe sleep. I had one HV say it but she said along the lines of ‘you know I have to say…’.

My second had one from 12 weeks. Not because we held off. More she didn’t click with one until then. And she’s still not that attached at 10 months.

Basically you have to make the judgement yourself, Only you know your baby and can see/ feel this teddy.

well in fairness the child mortality rate was a lot higher than it is now before science-based advice on infants.

The human race will always survive. Individual and much loved children didn't.

In this case OP I would take the advice of several posters about teething etc. and also dump the friend. Anyone who threatens to call SS about a bloody teddy in a cot is a nutjob. Drop her immediately. your husband isn't happy with her either.

Could you get something like this? https://www2.hm.com/de_de/productpage.1229859001.html

www.marksandspencer.com/de/giraffen-schmusetuch-ab-0-m./p/000000000060751898.html

How can you say they are too young to get comfort from something like a teddy when it’s untrue? They can get comfort from anything they seek comfort from they sometimes aren’t safe to have without a caregiver present

Its a 6 month old, even people who still do "cry it out" generally dont do it that young.

I voted YANBU because I can understand how hard it can be, and because your friend reporting you is a bit much. but I would never do it. Every time I consider taking a risk for my own convenience I know is wrong around my baby and toddler I ask myself if I’d ever forgive myself if the worst happened. Like, would I look back and think, I did that for a bit more sleep and now I’d give anything to be in that situation again?

Does your “friend” have any kids of her own because she’s giving off some serious hand that rocks the cradle vibes.

Could you afix the breathing fluffy toy higher than baby securely onto the cot bars? That way she is near it, can reach and touch it, hear it, but it is not at her face level.

the main things that stand out for ne is that your friend is a nutter. Also a bit surprised that a six month old can’t roll, I thought they were sitting up etc by then. Definitely strong enough to move head away from something. But tbh mine were in a bedside co sleeper for at least a year so everyone’s different… trust your instincts