To want a card that says ‘mummy’

[Cheepcheepcheep]

I’m aware this might be extremely precious and if it is then I’d like to be told as much.

Last Christmas, DH got me a card that said ‘happy Christmas mum’ on the front. I told him at the time that, with DCs 2 and 4 at that stage, I’d have liked a ‘mummy’ card. I’m aware they won’t call me mummy forever and I wanted a ‘mummy’ card - I hopefully will have many years of being ‘mum’ but very few where I’m mummy.

Roll on to my birthday in the Spring and I got a ‘mum birthday’ card. It wasn’t a falling out but I reminded him, for the small window I’m ‘mummy’ I’d like a card that says mummy on it not a card one would get their elderly mum.

Roll around Christmas and my card from the kids says ‘to a lovely mum’

AIBU to be a bit upset? We don’t have money for presents this year and I didn’t want anything that cost, but a card saying ‘mum’ on the front feels a bit tone deaf after what I’ve said.

Eldest won’t call me mummy for much longer and it made me sad. I know many have bigger crosses to bear but still

*him - sorry!

Our kids are in their 20s but DH still drinks from his Best Daddy Ever mug.

I think your DH is being unreasonable because you've spelled it out to him very clearly, twice, and he has just ignored your wishes. That's mean.

Fwiw my daughter (21) and son (19) still call us mummy and daddy, including on cards.

Everyone has different priorities and expectations but I think this is a bit immature and YABU.

even if she's unreasonable for wanting a card that says Mummy, surely you get someone the card they repeatedly ask for if you actually care about them?

I don't know why you keep repeating that you only have a tiny mummy window. To an extent, it's what you make it.

I'm mostly mummy still to my 6 + 8yo. If she hurts herself and is upset, with my 6yo, I'm back to Mama.

The names are used pretty interchangeably these days tbh, and I expect I'm referred to as mum when they are talking about friends, but it's still mummy when they want cuddles, and 75% of the time at home.

I refer to my mum as mum to other people, but when together (and in cards) she's my mammy.

Eldest is pretty great at her own cards tbf

That’s a really nice perspective. Thank you.

I think if you’ve said it’s important to you (although it wouldn’t be to me) then it should be paid attention to - it’s not asking a lot.

You might be lucky on being mummy longer too though - my children say “my mum” if talking about me but call me mummy when speaking to me and eldest is 16.

Have you asked him why he keeps doing this? If so, what reason has he given? If not, then why not?

Since I was a kid no card said 'Mam' on it - so I always had to make my own.

I asked him tonight before I started the thread. He just didn’t think it was a big deal.

Maybe I wasn’t clear enough the last couple of times..

My kids are teens and call me and my husband by our first names regularly. Started as a joke but its become so normal that people comment on it. I think it's funny so I'm not hurt by it but they do drop back in to mum/mummy/mama when they're sad or want money. It's all just different stages and I'm really enjoying seeing the change

While I get it seems and sounds ridiculous, you’ve told him three times about something that’s not everyday in the least and explained why you really really really want it so actually it’s a bit mad he’s not gone and bought something that all bigger card shops will have (I worried in the card section of a not huge shop and they always had mam, mum, mother, mummy, mammy and we ordered and got in mother in law cards too!!!)

My 70yo father still calls his (deceased) mother "mummy" - im 34 and call my mum "mummy" - my (admittedly 1 and 3 year old) children call me mama..

Though, my other half has been able to source "mama" cards for me 😆🥰

I don’t get this. He’s apparently a lovely man and a fantastic partner. You’ve asked multiple times for one small thing. He’s repeatedly failed to do said small thing. You ask him why and he’s like ‘I didn’t think it was a big deal’? Despite the fact that you’d asked multiple times?

Does he normally listen to you?

So there it is. And that’s not unreasonable - you’ve done a bunch of wife work (all the dinners), you asked your DH to manage something that was meaningful to you, and he couldn’t be bothered now three times in a row.

I mean yes, my overwhelming feeling is, “There are worse things that happen at sea.” BUT I don’t think this is just about the “mummy” thing. I reckon he forgets for the next holiday or can’t spend 20 bloody minutes making a card with the kids, you’re probably going to lose your shite on him. Dunno what to tell you, but I think a lot of us understand your feelings, even if they’re about a bit of a “precious” subject.

I totally agree with you and is something I have had to point out far too may times including being very blunt. Always mocked for it as if being very unreasonable but I'm not "mum" I'm "mummy"

I don’t think I’ve ever had a bought card from my kids, and they’re tweens now. They always made one, whether at home, nursery or school. Haven’t they bought home any cards they’ve made?

YANBU! I buy my husband a “daddy” card from the kids (or they make one). It is what they call him and there is always a daddy option in the shop. Or you can order one with a photo from moonpig in about 30 seconds. He always buys me a mummy card too. I would find it really strange if he didn’t. Plus the fact you told him this and he ignored you twice is unfair.

It's never occurred to me to expect any sort of Christmas card from my kids, let alone being precious about what I'm called on it! Chill out!

What the heck??!!

Well, you’ve answered your own question - you’re being precious, you have a good partner so don’t go looking for something to complain about if a card is the only thing you don’t like.
If you want a mummy card order it yourself and give it to your husband to get the kids to draw you a picture (or something like that). In years to come you’ll just value the drawings. Don’t waste time resenting very small things if you think your partner is fantastic.

i want one that says Mommy.

YABU!