To want a card that says ‘mummy’

[Cheepcheepcheep]

I’m aware this might be extremely precious and if it is then I’d like to be told as much.

Last Christmas, DH got me a card that said ‘happy Christmas mum’ on the front. I told him at the time that, with DCs 2 and 4 at that stage, I’d have liked a ‘mummy’ card. I’m aware they won’t call me mummy forever and I wanted a ‘mummy’ card - I hopefully will have many years of being ‘mum’ but very few where I’m mummy.

Roll on to my birthday in the Spring and I got a ‘mum birthday’ card. It wasn’t a falling out but I reminded him, for the small window I’m ‘mummy’ I’d like a card that says mummy on it not a card one would get their elderly mum.

Roll around Christmas and my card from the kids says ‘to a lovely mum’

AIBU to be a bit upset? We don’t have money for presents this year and I didn’t want anything that cost, but a card saying ‘mum’ on the front feels a bit tone deaf after what I’ve said.

Eldest won’t call me mummy for much longer and it made me sad. I know many have bigger crosses to bear but still

Try living in an area where Mommy is the norm. It’s almost impossible to get a card with that on. Mum or mummy just sounds weird if you live in a Mommy area!

Oh this makes me happy! I’m worried my ‘mummy’ time is limited but fingers crossed crossed eldest will still be on board at that point…

I feel exactly the same way, OP. What i will say is in our local shops, there was a distinct lack of Mummy or Daddy cards this year, in favour of just Mum or Dad. I usually ask my eldest DD (4.5y) to choose the card for DH and even she turned her nose up at them all.

If it’s good enough for King Charles. I believe he called the late Queen mummy, even as a septuagenarian.

Get the kids to make cards! My eldest is 11 and calls me mum but mummy lasted ages :)

I feel for you OP. I'm not precious about these things at all but was very (vocally) upset when my DH did this - my very first Christmas card from DD1 said 'Mum' on the front and I was gutted. She was five months old and I was SO looking forward to opening a Mummy card for the first time. (I had secretly been hoping for a Mummy card when she was first born, but it never materialised, so I had all my hopes set on Christmas...!) He's never made that mistake again, ten years and another child down the line...

10 year old still calls me Mummy, so hopefully you have a while left OP.

Oh god I’m not an insta mum! I mean it for me - my mum still has a treasure trove of little notes.

Fair enough in that case.

A quick Google brought up a plethora of mummy cards so he could have done it easily.

YANBU. You’ve asked for something small and he should make the effort to do it. @ManyATrueWord is spot on.

My mother has insisted on being called Mummy all the way through. I’m now in my mid 30s and it makes me cringe so much. Most of the time I call her by her first name or another nickname that isn’t mum-related to avoid the awful feeling of feeling like I’m 5 years old or one of the royal family

I think that’s fair enough - mummy cards aren’t exactly hard to come by. Your issue is that he’s not bothering to listen to you.

As an aside, adults calling their mum “mummy” is making me turn inside out with cringe.

He’s otherwise a fantastic partner. 50/50, up with the kids at 4am today. Can’t fault him. (I do the same!). Just a bit gutted that I don’t have a card for this tiny sliver of life where I’m not some knitting nanna, especially since we can’t afford presents.

But surely you'd rather your DH sat down with them and helped them make a card?

Oh I totally agree! It’s one of the reasons I want to make the most of the tiny window I have with 3yo and 5yo

I’d love that! But we’re both working parents and I totally get it buying one is easier that’s fine <looks at all the dinners I’ve made in 2025>

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I have a 3 year old and my husband has occasionally called me 'mam' instead of 'mammy'. I just tell him that's not my name, I'm mammy. It matters because it's like calling you the wrong name! It also irritates me when nursery or family call me 'mummy' by accident, also not my name!

Working parents can find 15 to 20 minutes once or twice a year to make a card for a special occasion.

It's a good thing to teach the kids too about effort etc.

Perhaps going forward you could both start to do this.

I think on the surface it may sound precious.

But.. its not an unreasonable or expensive request. Its not something you expected him to be claryoiant about, you said id like you to pick a card for our kids that reflects who I am to them.

Most importantly, its a big deal to you and a little one to him (when hes buying a card anyway), and he loves you so there isnt a reason to not do this.

I think saying you're working parents so don't have the time is the wrong approach. For things like this surely you make time because it's something important for your children. It really doesn't take long to get some pens and paper out and make a card. Do you help the children make him cards?

If it makes you feel any better, my 14 year old still calls me Mummy / Mumma.

I’m 42 and I still call my parents Mummy and Daddy. So does my DH. My mum calls my grandfather (who is now 96) Daddy too. There’s no need for it to be a small window!

Honestly we’re so time poor. I hate it and if we didn’t need to pay a mortgage in the south I’d say sod it. But everything is such a rush.

DH is fab, as are the kids. I was just wondering if I was being terribly selfish - it seems some think I am (entirely fair! Isn’t it fab I have two kids and a husband! So lucky) and some think my husband could hear my feedback a bit. Anyway. I called my mum ‘mummy’ for years until I became a mum myself. So I may be biased. But I really want to distinguish between the bit of my life when I’m mummy (a tiny bit, paid for through sleep!) and the rest of my life when I’ve mum.

Very aware it’s daft to be sad about a Christmas card mind!!!

Our kids are in their 50's now but I still remember fondly the 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' cards that me and DH bought each other from them.
It's such a short time and very special.
You are not being unreasonable at all.
Merry Christmas Mummy. xxx

Gosh, you’d have died in a panic if you were my DS’s mother. He was calling me by my first name by the age of three.

And that’s so okay if that’s who you were to her!

But I know I have this tiny window of being ‘mummy’ v ‘mum’ and I am SO ok with that - as soon as DC1 calls me mum I’m great with that (well, I will be)

But when I buy their DF’s card I don’t buy soo random ‘to my father’ card with fishing on the front, mostly because he’s in his 30s!

I just want to have a card saying mummy for the tiny window I’m ‘mummy’.

totally accept I’m probably a bit OTT on that mind!