To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

[Didntwenearlyhaveitall]

I’ve known ‘D’P for around 9 months. We don’t live together.
I’ve divided my time over Christmas driving between him and my friends and family,
Today we’d arranged that I would stay at his.
Things have been a bit tense lately due to a hopefully temporary restriction on his driving ( health related), but today has been great.
We have been happy staying in and chilling, cooking together, lots of laughter. For the first time this Christmas I’ve been able to have a couple of alcoholic drinks.
Around 10 minutes ago his adult son phoned him for a lift. Clearly he couldn’t do this but instead of saying no, or suggesting a taxi he seemed to expect that I would do it.
I said no, I had had alcohol and would not be driving.
He started off trying to persuade me, saying I probably wasn’t over the limit, he would have done it if it wasn’t for his medical problem, etc.
I have been driving for many years and I never drive after drinking alcohol. I could possibly have had a glass or two of wine over Christmas, but I didn’t as I feel that there is no safe limit.
Things progressed and he is getting more insistent and unreasonable.
I’ve shut myself in the bathroom to get away and gather my thoughts.

Thank you for updating.

Agree he was seeing if he could get the thankless job of chauffeuring him around for nothing but grief filled by you again. Well done for not even letting him get past the front step.

Sounds like he came sniffing round to see if you would resume services.

"I struggled to remember what I’d ever seen in him"
Once the ick is with us, it stays with us!

Was he trying to re-enlist your driving services?

Yes thank you for the update @Didntwenearlyhaveitall . And well done on not getting sucked in again.

So he is looking for a driver.

Yes, he was definitely trying to reinstate his free chauffeuring services.
He complimented me on being sensible that night, and actually thanked me for hiding his keys.
He said he needed my rational approach to stop him being tempted to drive again. I didn’t believe a word. He just wanted me to ferry him everywhere.

Desperately back pedalling now he realises what he's lost?

What an idiot.

You should be insulted he thinks you're stupid enough to fall for that.

Thank you for updating us OP. Hopefully that is a bit of closure for you too. No need to unblock him, but maybe a little reassurance that he will behave himself/you can handle it if your paths cross again.

Very well done, you are a 🌟 !!

But none of this is your problem. Why is he making it like it is? He can walk.

@TorroFerney You do realise that you are replying to a post from 27 December and things have moved on? It's always better to read all the Ops posts before posting a reply in my view

Well done @Didntwenearlyhaveitall Glad he didn't get over the doorstep!

“I need your rational approach to stop me from driving again”

How insulting that he thinks you would take from this statement anything other than 1) Absolutely ridiculous to even suggest it would somehow be my fault if you drive again and 2) You are here mostly because you need a someone to be your unpaid chauffeur.

Well done OP, you're amazing 💪

Thank you for the update

I still want to know how his son got home! Perhaps he's still waiting at the station.

Completely predictable.
I have no doubt he is furious for fxxking up and losing your kindness.
You are so well out of it.
I am a hard bitch, and tell women to be so wsry of men looking for a nurse with a purse.
They are rampant in my clubs, tennis, golf and sailing.
They basically openly want a solvent woman to provide home comforts.
Women my age, in their 60's, can spot them at 100 feet.
It's astonishing how quickly widowed men are back on the scene, a real eye opener.
And how quickly they might hit on a bereaved widow of a former friend.

Good and well done!

Good work @Didntwenearlyhaveitall, he wouldn't listen to you before, well it's too late now.

So he got caught driving after you left him and he still came back and said your actions had removed the temptation to drive. Didn’t stop him though?
You are well rid !

I don’t know the answer to this. He didn’t mention it and I didn’t ask. Sorry.

The bad news for him is that he was caught driving recently and is awaiting the outcome.

What an absolute tool he is.

Proof - if it were needed - that you were absolutely right! I’m glad you don’t have his nonsense in your life any more.

Wow. So he came snivelling back with a transparent agenda? Well done you for keeping him on the doorstep and then sending him packing.

You also predicted he would drive when he shouldn’t. He has no shame and I hope they throw the book at him.

OP, if half the women on here stood up to their partners the way you have and took back their power the world would be a better place. You are a rockstar ❤️