To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

[Didntwenearlyhaveitall]

I’ve known ‘D’P for around 9 months. We don’t live together.
I’ve divided my time over Christmas driving between him and my friends and family,
Today we’d arranged that I would stay at his.
Things have been a bit tense lately due to a hopefully temporary restriction on his driving ( health related), but today has been great.
We have been happy staying in and chilling, cooking together, lots of laughter. For the first time this Christmas I’ve been able to have a couple of alcoholic drinks.
Around 10 minutes ago his adult son phoned him for a lift. Clearly he couldn’t do this but instead of saying no, or suggesting a taxi he seemed to expect that I would do it.
I said no, I had had alcohol and would not be driving.
He started off trying to persuade me, saying I probably wasn’t over the limit, he would have done it if it wasn’t for his medical problem, etc.
I have been driving for many years and I never drive after drinking alcohol. I could possibly have had a glass or two of wine over Christmas, but I didn’t as I feel that there is no safe limit.
Things progressed and he is getting more insistent and unreasonable.
I’ve shut myself in the bathroom to get away and gather my thoughts.

If I’m driving, I don’t have any alcohol at all. If I’ve had a glass of wine or anything alcoholic, I’m not driving.

Don’t be bullied. To be honest I’d drive home tomorrow when you can and once safety home end the relationship. Your boyfriend clearly doesn’t care about you.

His behaviour is really odd and entitled. It'd be totally normal for you to not want to collect his adult child, even if you'd had nothing - you're not his errand girl.

And only you can possibly know whether or not you're safe to drive. It's perfectly valid to say you don't drive after any alchol at all, if that is your rule. But even if you were someone who calculated units to drive, you would be the one doing it. Not him. It's so easy for someone who hasn't been paying attention to mis-calculate the number of units you've had.

Do you have means to get yourself a taxi home if needed?
make sure you have your keys safely on you and firmly tell him
that you are not prepared to drive (it would risk an accident or risk your license - as it would impact you both hugely if either happened ) and say that that’s the end of the discussion.
If he continues to try to persuade you, call a taxi and get yourself home, and collect the car tomorrow with a friend or relative.

What the hell is he thinking? Ofcourse you shouldn't drive. And he shouldn't be pressurising you to do so either. His son can get a taxi or a bus like any other adult.

How does his adult son not know that his father is currently unable to drive?

He’s just knocked on the door to ask if I’m ok.
I said yes and he says his son can’t get a taxi as they only want fares within the town.
I’ve no idea if that’s accurate. I’ve just suggested a Travelodge!

I would be asking why his adult son was ringing him for a lift when he knows he can’t drive at the minute. Just assuming you’d do it probably

Is he still trying to get you to go? It’s not your problem to solve. Don’t answer any more questions on this.

Stick to your guns, OP. There are red flags all over this.

It would be dire for you if you lost your license.

This guy is an abusive bullying asshole who is trying to coerce you into drunk driving because he is too cheap to pay for a ride for his son. You're his chauffeur and he doesn't care if you endanger others on the road. His son can stay in town.

Get out of there. Is he drunk?

His son does know. I don’t know why he even asked. Apparently he tried his Mother first and she’s out.

Because these two men are taking you for granted, OP. And are resentful that you are not jumping when they say jump.

RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!

If you’ve had two drinks then yes you’re very likely to be fine, especially if you’ve also eaten and/or the drinks have been drunk over a period of an hour plus. Generally you’ll process a unit per hour from your system.

But it’s still your call, drink or no drink, whether you want to run errands for his son. Do you know his son much?

You’ve taken yourself off and he’s still trying to guilt trip you. Apple doesn’t fall far from tree, son and dad expecting you to act as unpaid chauffeur. I’d go to bed Op. Have breakfast then leave tomorrow.

You are right.
I don’t drive after drinking either- wouldn’t even drive after a sip of someone’s drink!
I have done similar to you this year and had a drink ONLY twice when I was 100% not driving.

WHY did the son phone your dp though if dp cannot drive?

Call a taxi for yourself, if you can find one that will take you, and just go home. Or, frankly, a Travelodge of your own.

Why can’t he get an uber? Ubers aren’t aired under my council but they come in from other local areas and are mega cheap. You can literally download the app yourself to verify if he could get one

YANBU. Personally I don’t drive if I’ve had alcohol at all in a day. Not worth the risk, plus the limit in Scotland is very low in the first place. I only drink when I’m sure I won’t be driving (which is what you have rightly done too). I would absolutely not be badgered by anyone into driving when I felt uncomfortable doing do.

Don't be ridiculous. You have no idea what OP has drunk. Or eaten.

The point is that two men are trying to take advantage of her, and her good will.

I never have even one drink if driving, wouldn’t risk it.

Get yourself a taxi and go home.

It’s not for you to come up with an alternative for an adult male. Not your problem.

Unless these drinks were hours ago then Yanbu. If I’d drunk 2 drinks I’d assume a minimum of 4 units possibly 6 and won’t drive until tomorrow