To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

[Didntwenearlyhaveitall]

I’ve known ‘D’P for around 9 months. We don’t live together.
I’ve divided my time over Christmas driving between him and my friends and family,
Today we’d arranged that I would stay at his.
Things have been a bit tense lately due to a hopefully temporary restriction on his driving ( health related), but today has been great.
We have been happy staying in and chilling, cooking together, lots of laughter. For the first time this Christmas I’ve been able to have a couple of alcoholic drinks.
Around 10 minutes ago his adult son phoned him for a lift. Clearly he couldn’t do this but instead of saying no, or suggesting a taxi he seemed to expect that I would do it.
I said no, I had had alcohol and would not be driving.
He started off trying to persuade me, saying I probably wasn’t over the limit, he would have done it if it wasn’t for his medical problem, etc.
I have been driving for many years and I never drive after drinking alcohol. I could possibly have had a glass or two of wine over Christmas, but I didn’t as I feel that there is no safe limit.
Things progressed and he is getting more insistent and unreasonable.
I’ve shut myself in the bathroom to get away and gather my thoughts.

Why would the OP's (admittedly wonderful) son make someone a wonderful husband 'soon'? He is only 23!

Ok just remove the word “soon” when you are reading my comment, if that makes you feel less outraged.

Of all the comments you could make on this thread, you decide to attack someone sending a lovely message of support to the op 🤷🏼‍♀️

Get the lad an uber. It’s quite simple. I don’t drink ow drive either because sometimes having just 1 drink has affected me

After 22 pages of comments, it might be worth reading the OP’s responses first before posting!

The OP hasn't done this. They alternated driving for part of this time as her posts show.

Oh yes, get the lad an Uber. Why did no-one else think of this? 🙄

You did exactly the right thing. You’ve clearly brought up a great pair of DC as well.

You ended this when you needed to. A lesson that many others need to learn.

You are well rid of this user twat.

Just caught up on the full thread, and wanted to say OP you and your children are absolutely bloody brilliant!

Well done for standing your ground and hope you find someone who actually deserves you, when you're ready

You are a nice person, but too kind and too quick to pass off him clearly using you.
I bet he is kicking himself now.
I wouldn't be one bit surprised if he tries to contact you again.

You sound like a clever woman, you will learn from this.

My friend was given a tip, whereby she wrote down every niggle when she was dating a guy.
She found it made her super aware when there were more than a few .
She said she also found it so much easier to cut guys off quickly, therefore not wasting her time.

I love this. The Op posted three days ago and you give this advice now. Do you think he’s still sitting waiting?

Well he might be 🤣🤣🤣, although I hope not.

I haven’t heard from ex at all.

I’m looking forward to staying single this year.

Congratulations and onwards and upwards - what do they say, when someone shows you their true colours believe them?

Wishing you all the best for 2026.

🙄 i obviously didn’t look did i, but i suppose that doesnt stop people being unnecessarily nasty.

I hope @Didntwenearlyhaveitall is ok though. All the best to her for the new year. I know it’s 2 days late so I suppose you’ll have something to say about that.

Thank you for your kind words.
I am doing fine.
I thank my lucky stars for my kids and some good friends.
Happy New Year.

Well done for saying No & sticking to it. Never compromise yourself by agreeing to something you're not comfortable with. I wouldn't drive after only one drink as I can talk myself into being drunk. I get carried away with the atmosphere when I have a drink & feel it more than I probably should after only one drink so won't drive at all.

Hi,
I am not sure if anyone is still watching this, or indeed interested in an update, but here it is.

Ex came to my house to see me yesterday.
My actions to block him had actually worked.

He was very contrite, and full of apologies. He has had an update on his health condition and the good news for him is that it is likely to be fully treatable.

The bad news for him is that he was caught driving recently and is awaiting the outcome.

It certainly wasn’t a case of absence making the heart grow fonder. I struggled to remember what I’d ever seen in him, and after a few minutes talking on the doorstep, asked him to leave, which to be fair he did without any argument.

Thank you for the update - it really is appreciated.

You did precisely the right thing and I'm glad that things have worked out well for you.

Thank you for the update. Glad things are going well for you.

So glad to hear this, @Didntwenearlyhaveitall! Go you! 😎

(Very tempted to make a pun from your name, but resisting...)

Update very much appreciated. Definitely sounds like you've made the right decision

So he was checking to see if you were interested in his open unpaid chauffeur position. He wasn't supposed to drive and did anyway and got busted. Sucks to be him.

Good for you asking him to leave. I hope he leaves you alone now. Ick.

Well done OP, well rid!

An outcome worth waiting for OP.