School run and TOIL

[Mumguilt25]

I am 25, mum of 1 (DC is 8). Started a new job in August which is a step up — more money, more freedom and flexibility.

In my previous role I literally had to take my lunch break to cover the school run 🙄. New manager was really relaxed and said just do the school run and also take 30 mins lunch whenever (its an hour otherwise) which felt nice and relaxed.

She’s also agreed I can WFH 3 days a week and be in the office 2, so on WFH days it’s pretty chill.

Everything was going fine until I put in a TOIL request for 4 hours for extra work I did last week. She refused it, saying she appreciated the effort but that it’s “give and take”.

I’m feeling really annoyed by this. I didn’t choose to work extra hours for fun, it was work that needed doing. I also don’t see how flexibility around school runs = unpaid overtime?

AIBU to feel annoyed? We didnt discuss it beforehand.

Wow OP

Grow up. If you want the flexibility you need to realise you need to need to actually do something to earn it.

Team Boss, sorry. You can’t have it both ways and TOIL should be agreed in advance.

Have I picked you up correctly- you get half an hour lunch and an hour to do the school run every day? You don’t work an extra half hour at the end of each day to cover your hours?

If this is the case you have a dream of a boss who is quite right to push back when you then took advantage.

You seem to have an entitled attitude...your eye roll at the having to use lunch break to do the school run at previous job and the thought that you get 50 minutes to do school run, also have 30 minutes to eat lunch AND put in for toil

Your manager is right...its about give and take. Be careful that she doesn't decide you "take" too much and have to make alternative arrangements for the school run

I think you need to explain exactly what hours you should do a day / a week and what hours you actually do. I would never ask for payment for working a bit extra if it risked the flexibility I have been given. Put up and shut up, as from what I and most people have understood you are in a deficit every week already?

So you take an hour per day to do the school run and a 30 minute lunch?

If thata the case there's only one CF here

I’m team boss. Yes it seems fairly relaxed and flexible however from what you’ve said you are wanting your cake and eat it.

This! You are already lucky she's being ao flexible, you do a tiny amount above and beyond one time and want paying for it?

People like you who are take take take and no give, are why corporations are rescinding some of the flexibility they used to be willing to give.

I wish I'd seen that before I voted YANBU... of course you are!!

I'm as pro-worker as they come, dyed in the wool union member, but I think you've misstepped here.

Your boss has effectively said that if the work gets done, she doesn't mind you flexing hours to do the school run. That's a great arrangement. The flip side is that if you sometimes need to do extra hours so the work gets done, then so be it. Your boss isn't nickel-and-diming you on hours, so don't do that in return.

At first I had no clue what the relevance of your age and the fact you were a teen mum was, but now it seems to show how mentally young you really are. If you are taking 2.5hrs extra a week PAID, due to your 'chill' days, then also think its fine to claim 4hrs of TOIL, then you are a CF!

So you take an extra 20? minutes a day break, paid?

So you owe 2.5 hours work per week I'd say that you have some cheek putting in a toil request

So you basically have 90 minutes when everyone else has 60 minutes?

You were taking the mick putting in for TOIL as well.

This is when the old-fashioned flexitime system works well and stops chancers. There’s a record of hours worked whenever they’re worked and if you accrue hours you can take them as a day off about once a month.

Yep. Congratulations, you've just marked yourself as an entitled piss taker. Not a smart move if you intend any kind of promotion, ever, from this woman.

If you started work in August you have had at least 50 hours of time to eat your lunch on top of your designated lunch break which you use to collect your child.

Expecting TOIL is really taking the piss.

So you get 1 hr lunch, your boss is allowing you to have 30 minutes actually as a lunch break and then put the other 30 mins towards your school run time. The school run actually takes 50-60 mins so every day you are getting given a free 20-30 minutes that you don’t have to repay or work back, and you had the gall to ask for 4 hrs TOIL because you worked some extra time one week.

Is my understanding of the situation correct because if so then yeah, absolutely you are BU and a CF.

You started this job in August, simplifying the maths at 4 weeks a month and assuming you started late in August then you’ve had at least 12 weeks of 20-30 extra minutes a day which is 100-150 mins a week or 1200 - 1800 mins total which is 20- 30 hrs and you’re nitpicking about the 4 hrs you worked.

Your lunch break every day is an hour and 20 mins? Everyone else gets an hour? Is that correct?

So you’re getting an extra half hour each day then. I wouldn’t be rocking the boat at all just being very grateful for th amount of flexibility

Boss is right. It should be give and take, but it isn't working like that. If you're not making up the lost 50mins - hour school
Run each day then she has been giving you 2.5hours a week for however long. You're now quibbling/annoyed about 4 hours when the reality is if you looked at last week in isolation you only really worked 1.5 hours extra as you had the. Benefit of 2.5 hour lunches you were not entitled to. This is before you factor in the benefit of being allowed to WFH. In your shoes op I would t have put the request in and I wouldn't be rocking the boat.

Who looks after your child after the school run?

How long does the school run ake?

I can’t believe your cheek to be perfectly honest, if I’ve understood your posts correctly you are taking nearly an hour a day for the school run AND having 30 mins
for lunch, and then trying to claim for a few extra hours as a one off. If I were you, I’d check what side your bread is buttered on, and pronto before you lose your cushy setup

That's how i worked ut out.
If that's right op is taking the piss.

YAB sooooU it is difficult to convey just how unreasonable you are being.

Every day, you take 30mins lunch Plus the time it takes to fetch your child (between 50mins and an hour), then, presumably another 10mins or so to get them a snack . settle them in.
So, at a minimum you are taking an hour and 30mins EVERY DAY when you are only entitled to (and presumably your colleagues are only getting) one hour.

Can you not see that means you are already taking an extra 2.5 hours a week (minimum - probably closer to 3) EVERY WEEK?

I do hope your manager has a conversation with you and withdraws the privilege you have been given.