School run and TOIL

[Mumguilt25]

I am 25, mum of 1 (DC is 8). Started a new job in August which is a step up — more money, more freedom and flexibility.

In my previous role I literally had to take my lunch break to cover the school run 🙄. New manager was really relaxed and said just do the school run and also take 30 mins lunch whenever (its an hour otherwise) which felt nice and relaxed.

She’s also agreed I can WFH 3 days a week and be in the office 2, so on WFH days it’s pretty chill.

Everything was going fine until I put in a TOIL request for 4 hours for extra work I did last week. She refused it, saying she appreciated the effort but that it’s “give and take”.

I’m feeling really annoyed by this. I didn’t choose to work extra hours for fun, it was work that needed doing. I also don’t see how flexibility around school runs = unpaid overtime?

AIBU to feel annoyed? We didnt discuss it beforehand.

You get roughly 90 mins break (50 or so mins for school run plus 30 break) all as goodwill and you put an authorised TOIL request in?

CF territory OP.

So you are effectively getting 30 minutes extra a day, paid. And tried to request toil.... if I were your manager, I really would not be impressed with that. You do need to be careful because she can remove that flexibility if you take the mick with it.

So you are getting an hour and a half for lunch? Are they docking your pay for the extra hour? (I think we all know the answer to this.)

Sounds like you’re taking over an hour in total
every day for school run, so I agree with your boss that it’s give and take. People in my team collect DC from school, but it’s all accounted for, and they have to work a bit extra to make up for it. You’re having 2 lunch breaks.

Team boss here. TOIL should be agreed in advance anyway - and if you have more work than can be done in your regular hours then that’s a discussion to have with her as well. She sounds pretty flexible considering you’re paid to work, not to work and juggle your children at the same time.

If you are using 2 - 2 1/2 extra hours of work time on the school run + lunch every week, then you can't expect to have them pay you for the first 2 - 2 1/2 hours of TOIL you do (because it isn't actually TOIL, it is just you making up your hours). So if every fortnight you do 4 hours of TOIL then you are breaking even, not being cheated out of anything! If you actually do less than that, you are ahead.

Okay with this piece of information it actually does sound like you’re taking the piss now. You’re entitled to a one hour lunch break, so you’re using 30 minutes for lunch and 30 minutes for the school run, but the school run actually takes twice that time.

Then what? Presumably you don’t ignore your child as soon as you get back? I assume you give them a snack, chat to them, etc. The child is only 8 - do you really work uninterrupted for the rest of the day?

This. She has been more than accommodating imo.

The TOIL should have been discussed before hand. If I was her I would have found your request rather cheeky.

My work are very flexible with me and school runs/looking after my son when hes sick etc. There are times I need to work extra hours and honestly I wouldnt ever ask for the time back because I see it as give and take and im very lucky to be able to just nip out and collect my son during work hours

So you take up to 1 hour 30 mins per day to cover the school run and a lunch break, when you’re only entitled to an hour? I’m Team Boss here, you’ve come across as spectacularly entitled to then claim back TOIL!

Yabu and a short sighted, your boss has really enabled you to have the best of both situations and it’s still not enough for you.

exactly. Why would someone think a company will allow staff to do the school run on their time? Should be lucky they even allow it. I paid for the afterschool club for all 3 of my DC.

So school run is 50-60mins + 30mins your boss allows extra for you to also have lunch- so you are taking 80-100mins a day, instead of 60mins? Is that correct?

So every week you have taken up to 2.5hrs EXTRA. If I have understood correctly then it it YOU OP that is the CF!!!!

So you use all your lunch break for school run then have additional 30 mins for eating lunch at your desk and 3 days at home with your children when you are working and looking after them and being 'pretty chilled' and then you want not pre approved TOIL for 4 hours.
The vast majority of us who have worked exceptionally ridged hours where were have to be present in offices working our contracted hours and build in child care for school runs and work commutes, might consider that taking the piss.

How do you not see that you're taking the piss?? You're taking upto an hour a day out for school runs and 30mins lunch, so 2.5hrs a week paid for no work. You can't then bitch and moan about working 4hrs without pay.

Lol

Also OP you are very lucky with the flexibility they allow you. Honestly.. I wouldnt take the piss or do this again.

They can very very easily take it away

You’re onto a good thing. Don’t take the piss.

You owe them wayyy more than 4 hours

You take 50-60 minutes for the school run and then half an hour lunch - looks like you owe 20-30 minutes each day. In these circumstances I would reject your claim for TOIL.

😦😦😦😦😦
Speechless

Yes the OP is a CF. Getting extra paid time and flexibility AND then deciding she will work overtime without requesting it in advance. If I was her LM I’d be getting her to record her hours formally going forward.

It’s actually embarrassing that you asked for 4 hours toil. You use 2.5hrs a week in extra paid time off!
How long have you worked there using this extra time? You must owe them much more than 4 hours.
I would email and apologise before you suddenly find that your flexi time is removed.

While I don’t think employees should be expected to work for free, you are taking the biscuit.

You are in a daily deficit, despite a very flexible and agreeable set up.

You have pushed your luck and I wouldn’t be entirely shocked if the extra time needs to be accounted for going forwards. If I was the manager I would be concerned by your request to be honest.

YABU

But you owe them hours and hours of work at this point?

So, you get 30 mins lunch + 50 mins to an hour to do the school run, as opposed to just an hour for lunch. Every day, every week. And you’re complaining about four hours of TOIL?

YABU. How is it not obvious to you that YABU?! Are you actively trying to piss your manager off?