To be upset that no one got me a present this year

[middleeastmum86]

Put on a big family christmas for 8 people. Spent a fortune on food, presents for the kids, alcohol, buying presents for everyone. Spent all day cooking frankly a Michelin star level meal. Did not get any presents off anyone. Literally nothing. I spent over £1500 on putting that day on.

I’m not even that upset I’m just resigned to it and more upset that I’m not more upset if you know what I mean!

They're only important for children.

I would say, hope you all enjoyed Chritnas lunch this year.
Heads up thst I wont be able to host next year as I will be spending the £1500 the lunch cost on gifts for myself.

And me and all my adult DC.

Wow bet you’re a barrel of laughs! It’s Xmas and given it’s the season of present giving it would have been nice for OP to feel that she was appreciated

Who are they?

Do they usually buy gifts?

Have they hosted before & it was your turn?

Idk I'm not bothered about gifts but if I was hosting I'd expect some sort of acknowledgement by way of flowers/chocolate/posh biscuits or something for the table.

Did the adults buy presents for each other? If not it would be weird if they just bought for you.

Right do they came to you and you catered and they didn't even think to buy you a present? Give over of course they did they just didnt. Youre a mug. Who are they to you?

Haha seriously? There's always one. 😂😂😂

Why on earth not? I wouldn't be hosting 'distant' relatives in the first place, but if I did then I would most certainly expect them to provide a gift.

No, it wouldn't. It is incredibly rude to not bring a hostess gift.

Yes I understand how you feel OP. I did Christmas for the family. I care for DH with dementia. I did get a present from our youngest son. No-one else though, and no-one ever things to get me anything from my DH now that he cannot get one for himself. Sometimes I feel like a drudge. Useful to do the work and set everything up, but otherwise invisible.

I understand what you are saying but what I struggle to understand is why such a personal attack on someones level of intelligence to an innocent question? There are a plethora of reasons someone might genuinely struggle to understand and are looking for a simple answer to their question. I have a friend with ADHD who is very intelligent indeed but often asks me for help guiding him on social issues. It has no bearing on his intelligence

Did they get presents for your DC? Grasping at straws here but in my family once we all had DC we just decided to do presents for them and not the adults as it was all getting too expensive. That was an agreement though.

If these are family members I would refuse to host next year and tell them why. That’s really rude. Do they have history for it?

Christmas martyrdom has to end. It's always bad but seems so much worse on MN this year.

That's a 'you problem', not an 'OP problem'.

Do you want a medal?

"Put on a big family christmas for 8 people."
You and your small children were 3 of the 8. Who were the other 5? Do they have form for being greedy / insensitive / selfish fuckers?

(Next year in the Maldives sounds like a good plan.)

Omg OP this is awful you have every right to be upset I would be livid that no one not one of them even thought to bring you a gift or even all chip in and buy you something really nice from all of them Jesus at this point even a bath set would of been nice well you get yourself and the kids to the Maldives next Christmas I would send a text out in about Sept/Oct time saying we as a family are not doing Christmas gifts this year as we are off to the Maldives I’m actually angry about this on your behalf right now I find it appalling wishing you all the best for 2026 OP

That's the end of that then! See it as a burden lifted -next year in abroad sounds great. Make sure you tell them why when they ask why you won't host again.

I agree with this.

Yes, they were out of order. Even if you don’t usually buy Christmas presents amongst the adults in your family, everyone realises you at least buy a host/ hostess gift. And if it’s a Christmas meal you do a decent one!

But it doesn’t have to upset you. If you see it as freeing you from doing this ever again it could be framed as a good thing.

He could be mentally struggling after losing your mum. Bad time for him.

Do they usually get presents for you? Do you have a partner? It’s awful and I’d not repeat it.

I would never recognise their important events ever again in any form. I would also send a communication thanking them for forgetting their manners.

No. They aren’t.

Because it wasn’t an innocent question. It was a wind up.