“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

[CunningLinguist2]

Is @devoed okay? Threads disappeared & I am rooting hard for her & her kids against the KH.

@Devoed Also been thinking about you.
Hope all is well, and sending hugs 🤗

Thank you…it’s just same old bonkers nasty behaviour here.

When it’s all done, I’ll send a full timeline of events!

I am so worried about CAFCASS…whenever I ask DC how they’re feeling, etc. I just get not sure”. Worried about them.

I don't know whether you've already looked at this OP, but I just Googled how to help young children when going through divorce, and these books were recommended:

To help young children (ages 3–7) process the emotions of divorce, experts recommend using age-appropriate books and therapeutic play tools. These resources provide a "third-party" perspective, making it safer for children to project and express feelings they may not yet have the words for.

• Two Homes by Claire Masurel: A classic for ages 2–6 that focuses on what is gained rather than lost, highlighting that a child is loved in both households.
• Two Places to Call Home by Phil Earle: An uplifting picture book for ages 3–7 that uses imagination to help tackle anxiety about living in different houses.
• Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families by Laurene Krasny Brown: A comprehensive resource for ages 4–8 that uses dinosaur characters to explain custody, new partners, and complex emotions.
• It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear by Vicki Lansky: Widely recommended for ages 3–6, this book directly addresses common fears and reinforces that the child is not to blame.
• Was It the Chocolate Pudding? by Sandra Levins: Uses a relatable scenario to explain divorce in simple terms for younger children

Supporting you from a distance.

@Devoed what is happening about him still squatting in your house?

Thank you, we’ve been reading Mum & Dad Glue and Everything Changes too….unfortunately, they depict everyone still getting on and being at parties together 🙈

@TheFormidableMrsC
Naff all, KH has even less resources than I realised. I’ve put a formal complaint in with the police.

In view of your response to my post about the books, Google came up with these:

For a "nasty" divorce specifically, "Dinosaurs Divorce" and "Was It the Chocolate Pudding?" are often highlighted for their directness in addressing complex emotional situations.

Does contact always increase at a final hearing, in general (unless there are serious safeguarding concerns)?

Mine went from 50:50 initially to EOW at the final hearing.

@Nevermind17
would you mind sharing why on a pm please?

Thinking of you and hoping KH is put in his box.

@CunningLinguist2
thank you 💐 I promise to update everything properly when it’s all over but I’m reluctant to say too much at the moment.

I will say is that I’m really panicking about what KH is going to say, how everything will be twisted and that he’s going to try using his covert recordings as evidence.

Don’t worry about updating etc. You owe us nothing. Just know that you’re thought of and lots of us I’m sure hoping KH gets his comeuppance very soon. It’s not hard to see him for what he is so do trust the
process (and yourself because you are marvellous). And hang in there!!!

Stay strong @Devoed

You’re going to get there, and your kids will be so grateful for you looking out for them when they’re old enough to understand everything.

Thinking of you @Devoed

My exh thought he was clever handing over a backpack of printed out text messages in which I wasn't exactly polite.. Judge told him to put them away. Wasn't interested..
Final hearing about OUR dc saw a change in schedule that didn't see the dc passed back and forwards as much as previously. Blocks of time benefit dc better.

If DC are settled and happy, and KH is seeing them regularly, I don’t really get why anyone will want to upset that.

It is not just me saying they’re happy either.

I am hoping that counts for something.

Witness statements are due in next month…I am dreading what’s in KH’s and his reaction to reading mine.

His behaviour continues to be erratic

At least yours will be the truth.

I hope his comes across as totally batshit. Yours will reflect his erratic behaviour and hopefully the judge and all involved can put 2 and 2 together. You are so strong ❤️

Have been thinking of you, @Devoed, and hoping all is OK. I am sure his witness statement will be as erratic and unbelievable as the rest of his behaviour.

The thing that frustrates me is that you don’t get to respond to each others witness statements when I might be able to disprove a lot to his accusations. They can cross examine us but I won’t be allowed to whip my texts out and pass them around.

KH just seems so angry, like so angry.

I hope it gets take seriously.

I agree I think his witness statement is going to come off as deranged. He so strongly believes he’s right that he’s going to spew all sorts of nonsense to try and make you look bad, most of it will just seem bizarre to a judge and I’m sure they’ll have seen it all before. You’ve got this.

I think that, but then I remember he has a good solicitor that surely won’t allow him to come across like that?

I am just can’t think of what he could say.

I'm sure his solicitor is great, but the solicitor can only advise. They can't force him to behave normally. KH struggles with behaving normally as we've all seen over these threads so...

@MonGrainDeSel
I hope you’re right…I just worry how much the judge will read of the statements and things too.

CAFCASS are also commenting on them.

It is just so stressful.