“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

[CunningLinguist2]

Is @devoed okay? Threads disappeared & I am rooting hard for her & her kids against the KH.

I think they’re deciding once statements have been submitted. I think they’ve only allocated half a day though!

My original one was down as half a day... so you never know. Fingers crossed for you!

He has declared he has no income, then says he is self employed & is flexible.
Someone with half a brain needs to pick up his lies.
Anyway, he can & will need to work if he intends to have dc a lot.
This will probably annoy the judge who will recognise him as the sponging, manipulative liar that he is.

@Mix56
i wonder if that’s why he has been stalling the finance side of things….i wonder if we’ll have the same judge too

I’ve been thinking of you @Devoed and so pleased to see you back on here! Stay strong.

Hope all is going OK, @Devoed

Thinking of you.

We’ve been in over the finances.

It went well, judge sided with us on everything.

Trying not to get my hopes up though, and manage my expectations.

Sounds positive! Well done. Hang on in there.

Glad to hear. Good luck and stay strong

Good luck with it all.

@Devoed good to hear you think it went well, any news about getting back into house?

Did judge comment on you losing the home you own because he’s helped himself to it?

Nothing was mentioned over the house, it was really just going through the queries about the questionnaires.

KH has said he’ll pay for a courier, and I just can’t bring myself to let him do that to me. I think it, for now, is something we can keep mentioning in terms of him being so unreasonable.

I feel this with probably go to final hearing too. His barrister was really told off for some of the points raised.

Good, barrister KH2.

His barrister was really told off for some of the points raised.

This sounds very satisfying! Glad to hear judge seems to have KH's measure. Wishing you all good things.

Sanity check me…

DC does a hobby once a week, I have always been to one to take them and liaise with the organisers, etc. It is also my bank card registered to the account (direct debit).

DC is moving up an age/level band after half term. I told KH they were moving up and that we weren’t guaranteed a booking on the same day. I said I was hoping to book the same day but asked if he could take DC on his time if they couldn’t (this would likely be on a day we alternate between us). It was phrased very nicely but He ignored me.

KH then contacts me today all “great news”, I’ve contacted the organiser and booked DC in on the same day but at a later time. He’s also cancelled their sessions in the interim.

I am just gobsmacked. He didn’t check with me, he’s not involved at all and it is my direct debit! I also cannot make that time as it means a really late night for DC.

AIBU to be really mad?!

Nope I’d be royally pissed, he does not get to decide, because it won’t affect him! Have a word with the organisers.

I’ve sorted it with the organisers and asked them not accept bookings from him without his card details.

I know it’s hard but I think you would have been better not contacting him about the hobby. I can see your logic because you are trying, as always, to plan ahead for what’s best for the children. But he’s shown time and again that this does not motivate him. What motivates him is upsetting you. So each time you reach out to him you’re giving him yet another opportunity to upset you. And he never fails to take it.

Where does your house fall in all the financial discussions? Is your barrister going to raise it?

I've not commented before. But can I say, I think you're bloody amazing.

Once this is sorted out, I think you should go into politics. You could sort out the mess the country is in, no problem.

Absolutely
this very much feels like "doing the same thing over & over expecting a different result"
I've been following all along but haven't commented because didn't have anything to say, but wanted to say that I'm hoping for a good. Outcome for you & your DC

Keep going, @Devoed . He really is an absolute knob isn't he.

Ergh. Imagine being that desperate to not have to parent on your day, not spend your own money, and not putting your kid first. What a t**t.

I used to do this too! So I completely understand. Now I do absolutely everything I can to do it during my time and have as little to do with ex as possible.
Also, speak to any other hobbies, school, afterschool club, anything and have it in writing that dad doesn't make these decisions on your time and money. My ex was booking afterschool club, the kids weren't attending and then I got a big bill! Madness but they find ways to get to you!
Keep going! You're doing amazing. You're reasonable, he never will be.